Top 11 Things that Will Get You Bashed on Corvette Forum

Have you ever posted a duplicate thread on Corvette Forum? Do you still feel bad about it?

Chances are you’ve violated some unwritten (or perhaps written and unread?) law of the forum-land around these parts. You may or may not feel bad about it, but you’ve definitely had someone call you out on it, right?

Of course, why join a forum if you’re not going to be vocal? By all means, I’m not saying you shouldn’t speak your mind, but for us sensitive types, please, fellas, give us a polite warning before you go biting our heads off just for posting a freaking duplicate thread.

You know how many threads there are on this forum? I don’t think there’s an equation to even figure that out. But I probably have a better chance of figuring out that equation than using the freaking search tool to find the exact thread you’re referring to, which was started during the C4’s production run.

Well, apparently I’m not the only one bitter about getting bashed on the forum, because there’s a whole thread (hopefully not a duplicate!) about various abuses that will merit your undeserved comeuppance on Corvette Forum.

In a thread called “Can’t we play together nicely?” posted by member “Frodo” (who may or may not have been bashed for his one username to rule them all), members are commiserating about being treated poorly in the forum, which is, of course, leading to more bashing.

To stave off future abuse, we’ve assembled this handy-dandy list of surefire things to avoid discussing on Corvette Forum if you hope to avoid the wrath of the Gatekeepers of Corvette Justice.

1. The Z06 Is Slow: Say it with me now, “The Z06 is the fastest car ever. In fact, it is the only car ever.” 

2. Profess Your Love for Black Wheels: What do all those young bucks see in these black wheels, anyway? A wheel is supposed to be chrome, dagnabbit.

3. Profess Your Love for Chrome Wheels: Sweet chrome wheels, Grandpa.

4. Profess Your Love for Anything Aftermarket: Don’t you understand that the Corvette is a perfect piece of engineering that doesn’t need your help to make it more perfect? There is no such thing as more perfect. Go die.

5. Profess Your Love for C4 Corvettes: If I wanted something that stiff and squeaky to ride, I would have borrowed it from my wife. Plus, if everyone on the forum hates them, there has to be something wrong, right?

6. Talk About Putting Splash Guards on Your Corvette: A Corvette is not a semi or a BMX bike, and should be treated accordingly. Why is there anything splashing on your ‘Vette in the first place?

7. Putting a Bra on Your Corvette: Another item I could have borrowed from my wife.

8. Driving Your Corvette in the Winter: You could totally wreck one of our sacred, hallowed ‘Vettes while driving in the snow.

9. Not Driving it in the Rain: These cars were meant to be driven. They won’t melt when they touch water, and they aren’t British, so the electricals can handle it. Who do you think you are depriving your ‘Vette of water?

10. Professing Your Love for the Kalahari Interior: The haters may have a point about this one.

11. Hating on Automatic Transmission Corvettes: Don’t you read the stats, man? Get that stick out of your … C3.

If you dare to risk further abuse, let us know what offenses you’ve been bashed for in the forum.

Chime in with your thoughts on the forum. >>

Update: 3/11/2015: I’d like to add this to the list:

12. Mod Your Corvette with Lambo-Style Doors: Because Corvette fans believe up-swinging doors shouldn’t even be on Lamborghinis. Want to see the first C7 Z06 to get vertical doors? Click here.