Ugliest Corvette Ever

Ugliest Corvette Ever (1)

I have seen death occur right in front of me. That was a walk through the Lompoc flower fields compared to my discovery of this Craigslist monstrosity that has to be the ugliest Corvette ever. Sight is my favorite of the five (and sometimes six) senses, but seeing this detestable heap of fiberglass makes me reconsider whether sight is actually a gift.

Reading the Craigslister’s description only exacerbates the depression this 1975 Corvette represents.

“COMPLETE EXCEPT MOTOR $25,000.00 FIRM>W/MOTOR $30,000.00 >W/PAINT $35,000.00 I BUILT THIS & CAN/WILL FINISH IF NEEDED!!!!”

Worst threat I’ve ever seen in my life. Please, for the love of every religious deity worshipped on this planet, do not finish this car. Burn it. Burn it now. Please.

If this guy gets even one percent of the asking price, I will start selling my own waste matter. Oh, and get this: the car is listed in “new” condition.

If you ask Google to define Schizophrenia, it will deliver this:

“Schizophrenia is [....] one of many brain diseases that may include delusions, loss of personality (flat affect), confusion, agitation, social withdrawal, psychosis, and bizarre behavior.”

If Google were to place an image adjacent to its definition of Schizophrenia, an image of this car would fit the bill. If ever a Schizophrenia museum is erected, this Corvette would be the first thing you would see as you emerge through the building’s main entrance: a laundry chute.