V8 Juice

As winter approaches I considered the best plan to save the better of the two sets of Yokohama slicks from cold weather frostbite and concluded the set on the car were the ones to save. Normally swapping the tires would not be a big deal, but the task required hooking up the trailer, pulling it out from the parking area so I could unload # 10 and change the tires. What could go wrong? Everything it seems if you lack the experience of Ronnie, the mechanical skills of JD and the garage that does everything for you of Mike. Backing up the Escalade right under the trailer cup on the first try was too easy and I knew I would pay for this good luck. And I did! Proceeded to remove the car cover, remove the fender for access, remove the windows, unhook all the tie-downs and start # 10. Backing the car off the trailer and seeing the front end rise up and drop with a clunk was a sign that my luck had turned. Sure enough, the ball must not have been secure and now the trailer hitch was on the ground and the tongue on the Escalade bumper. After mumbling "oh ship" a few times I jacked the trailer tongue up, reconnected securely this time and thus ended my first 2 hours and all I had accomplished was get the car off the trailer! A ride around the neighborhood to play with the shifter and I got down to business and encountered another "oh ship" moment - neither my big jack (that JD sneered at) or my little jack would fit under the car. What to do? Since I didn't think of simply driving up the ramps until later, my brilliant plan was to move the car onto the lawn and dig a hole under each side so the jack and hockey puck would get under the car. Well, this took some time since I had to find a spot where Carole could not see me digging up the lawn (with a plan to cover the digging up with leaves so she wouldn't discover until Spring when I would blame the raccoons). I got a shovel, the jacks and dug out two nice pits and sure enough it worked, tires came off OK, I spent way too long wrestling with the extender socket on the impact wrench until I saw a spring lock holding the socket on. I notice on the third tire a shiny circle the size of a quarter and decide to pry it out. Poking with a screwdriver got a very long tube with flat head (??) loose and the hissing noise revealed a hole, escaping air and what I thought was one of the better tires was now useless. Did I mention it had rained all weekend and all this was done in the mud? I don't know where the time went because I am well over 4 hours into this project, wet, muddy, and wondering why I started it. Crawl in the car and start to drive off the lawn when I realize the rear wheels are spinning freely, yup, they were in the holes I just dug, the Corvette was down to the frame and going no where with the wet slicks. Oh ship time again. If anyone had seen this they surely would be laughing their *** off. Darkness descending, the sweat is now cooling and I am chilly and fresh out of brilliant plans. Consider alternatives, try to drive out again and that is not going to happen. Decide to call my son-in-law (Steve) who lives a few miles away and has a big truck and a tow rope (he is a construction manager for tall buildings, he has everything). Steve arrives and does his best not to laugh when I explain all that has happened, sees the car in the mud and asks why didn't I just drive up onto 2 x 4 a little bit? I need help so I resist venting my frustration at suggestions I am stupid. Well, now I know the tow strap works. I take the car out again to get some of the mud off the tires, it is very slippery and I wonder if # 10 will drive up the ramps...shoulda got the winch when JD told me to. It is now dark, our driveway lights and flashlights help, but mostly Steve and I fumble around lining up the ramps, aiming the car and agreeing on a plan. I shoot up the ramp, hit the brakes and it works! Start all the steps to tie down, put in the window, bolt the fender and back the trailer in place, put the cover on and unhook the trailer from the SUV. Another oh ship moment as the trailer rolls forward and off the blocks under the trailer jack; I guess the wheel chocks are supposed to be placed before the trailer is unhooked. JD never told me that. Once again I jack up the trailer tongue and tremble at how serious this might have been. It’s 7 PM and I started at noon. The tires are changed but the car is full of mud inside and out, I lost a pin for the jack, have a bad tire, the trailer and Escalade are muddy, I had some scary moments, questioned why I do this stuff and Carole asks if it always takes all day to change tires! By Spring I’ll forget all this and be back at the track.

Lan.Jet

Sorry to hear about the hassle. It would a made a good video though

Datawiz

Are paragraphs illegal in Maryland?

C5 XTC

Isn't that Art a real prankster......this is not even April 1st and he gives us a line like that......hope none of our avid CF readers actually believe that terrific fairy tale!!! Good one Art!! If you can't raise the car figure out some way to lower the earth!!!!

ErnieN85

V8 Juice

Isn't it enough that I used punctuation?

RedLS1GTO

Let me get this straight... the thought to dig holes under the car for the jack came to mind, but driving it up on a piece of wood didn't?!?!

No way that actually happened... right?

PA Z06

I was thinking the same thing. But pretty funny either way.

V8 Juice

Brain freeze, I'm a CPA, first time changing tires on a lowered Vette, Yeah, it really happened and those are my excuses! It was just a dumb day. I thought of the 2x4 after I was covered in mud. Duh?

JDIllon

We all have those moments!!!!!!! Art. Yours just lasted for 7 hours!!!!!!!! Just glad no one was hurt, they are called learning experiences!!!!!!! Now you know why Tony makes the big bucks JD

TedDBere

Thanks for sharing, now I don't feel so bad spending a couple of hours peeling the stickers off the car (can't have any tan lines you know).

vette6aut0x

Dork

rocsvette

Actually he wasn't so far off. I have Peter Egan's piece on Corvette Racing from the Sprite Drivers point of view (Road & Track 1983) hanging in my office and one line is "When a Corvette driver jacked up his car he didn't so much as lift the car as push the earth away from it" So Art was just following a time honored tradition.

BrianCunningham

Short-Throw

You didn't have the luxury of hearing about this story first hand. It was one thing after another. Parsing this story out into sections would have certainly dumbed it down for us common folk but we would have missed the point, this experience was endless for our good friend. Jamming everything into what seems a long run on sentence nails home the point in a symbolic way of what really transpired. Brilliant if you ask me. Many people don't understand half the jokes Dennis Miller speaks as well!

ERND IT

oh, my friend...the perfect example of Murphy's Law ?
thanks for the story - you'll laugh about this next spring.... sure made me smile

Poor-sha

Wow Art. Remind me to tell you about my day this Sunday some time. I can't type it all here right now but let's just say that I finally started calling the neighbors for help when my wife's new stove was half way up the stairs to the house and the tractor I was pulling it up with was on 3 wheels.

Like you said - I'm just glad nobody got hurt and my wife will never let me live this down either.

shakedown067

Whoa, I need a beer after reading that. Any time I tell my wife I'll be 2 hours on the car, she plans for 4. Oh how I love my wife...

JDIllon

OK!! Sean!!!!!! The tractor on 3 wheels got me!!!! Lets hear it??? To bad Art was tied up he could have come over and helped out. JD

JDIllon

OK!!!!!!! It's time for GM to come out with something new and exiting. You can tell by the threads and posts!!!! This forum is really going down hill lately JD