jasonsamara

Many of you know the story of my 66 and my friendship with the original owner. Some of you met him at Carlisle this year. He has Parkinson's disease and I guess it has been around 10 years give or take a few years since he developed it. I have known him since 2012 and he already was displaying a lot of physical signs. For the past 4 years I stop by 1 to 2 evenings a week and help him with yard work, snow removal, etc. or just watch a movie with him. We have a pretty good routine.

So about the time we went to Carlisle I noticed he seemed to be getting worse. 2 weeks after Carlisle I went to the beach and called him and he had fallen down his steps but said he was ok. While installing an outside light for him I noticed he couldn't bend over to get something off the ground. Then about 2 weeks ago he fell in his room very hard. Also he has been hallucinating. It started with seeing people in his yard while riding his mower and has slowly progressed to bugs all over the floor, little girls etc. Now his 2nd house was broken into a few months back but nothing was taken. Every door in the house was dead bolted after this. I called him a few weeks ago around the time of his fall and he was determined someone was in the basement but he couldn't get the door open. I told him the change in the seasons probably changed the position of the door and assured him nobody was in the basement. Well when he left there that night he swore people were emptying the house and he sat in his car all night until the gas station across the road opened the next morning and called the cops. Of course nobody had broken in. At this point I was able to get him to the hospital. He has 3 fractures in his back and I was able to get him back home although I could tell they were concerned. I had started talking to his only family which consists of 2 sisters out of state and told the one she needs to visit. So she did and last week they were getting ready to go somewhere and she accidently ran over his foot, freaked and floored the car in reverse and dragged him 20 feet through the side of a garage wall. So back to the hospital and other than being bruised he cracked one rib. It was supposed to be a 1 night stay that turned into 2. Then he started telling the nurses about the guy sitting on the couch and of course he is just imagining it and they wanted him to go to a 7 - 10 day therapy. He freaked and tried to bust out and they locked him down. His sister was able to get him released even though the hospital thought he should stay.

So this morning I get a call from Tractor Supply that he had lost the keys to his car and could I come get him? I picked him up and realized he had walked 1/4 mile to Tractor Supply from the credit union where the car was with no coat and short sleeves. I found his key under the seat and he proceeded to tell me his sister is out to get him and I am the only person he can trust. I told him I thought he needs help, but he started getting short with me and didn't want to hear it. I told him to go home and get some rest because he has had a rough week. He wanted to check in at a motel and hide out. Then I get a call tonight from a friend who says there is a car over a bank at the 2nd house. So I call down there and sure enough he went off the drive and down in the woods. By the time I learned this a tow truck had already pulled the car out and he tells me it is because his Acura has slow steering.

So fellas what do I do? Is there anything I can do? It kills me to watch a person that I care so much for just run off the tracks. I have tried to relay to his family that he needs serious help, but I don't think they are grasping the full situation because they are older than he is. On one hand I understand how he feels, but am I supposed to just sit idle and wait for my friend to slip up big time? What if he hits a car head on and hurts someone? What if he falls at home and can't get to a phone. I have no power or control, but at the end of the day they will all go home and he will be all alone.

I know the only Corvette link to this story is that we are both owners, but you guys are older, wiser and I respect the hell out of you guys and am just looking for advice? Thanks for taking the time to read my story.

ricksphd

That is a horrible situation. Sadly, I doubt if you can do any more than you are already doing. If you have tried to make his sisters fully aware of the situation, they need to decide what to do. You may ask the local authorities (hospital, county mental health agency, etc) if there are any services available, sort of like "meals on wheels" that can come check on him on a daily basis in case he falls or gets hurt with no-one around. Maybe they can help with a life-alert type device that he can use in an emergency. Otherwise, just be a friend, and be available if he needs you. Just my thoughts.

Mikado463

Jason, sad, but I tend to agree with Rick.

66jack

Find out who his Dr. is and see if you can go with him to his next appointment and relay your concerns to him...tell the Dr the scenario you just told us and see if he can make contact with his family...maybe if it comes from a Dr., or, they can put him in touch with a "younger' member of his extended family...that shares your concerns...if nothing else see if your friend can put you in touch with an extended family member..."to talk corvettes"...HINT HINT....

Good luck...

deejaydu

Adult Protective Services may be able to help. Check in your Community.

Best of Luck to both of you.

65 fi

It seems as though he may be at a very advanced stage. You are obviously a good friend to be so attentive. What does his doctor say? Has he gone past the point where elevating his drugs would not make a difference?
I suppose the best thing would be to continue to help and visit as you can but don't put yourself in the grave beside him. Hopefully, as has been suggested, his doc will be able to become more proactive.

GUSTO14

Jason, I agree with most that he seems to be much further along than you may have previously believed. It is a very difficult situation, and unfortunately family are really the only folks at this point that are in a position to make decisions on his behalf. Believe it or not there are a lot of services in most communities that can aide, some have already been mentioned.

One thing that has not been mentioned is if he is a Veteran there are additional benefits and resources he may be eligible for from the VA.

Good luck... GUSTO

Chuck Gongloff

The symptoms you describe are indicative of greatly advanced Parkinson's Disease.

When one starts experiencing delusions and hallucinations, their disease process is FAR beyond the tremors and balance issues of early stage disease.

IMHO, as a friend, you should possibly advise Adult Protective Services in your area.

An individual with the symptoms you describe should not be living on his own. He needs help, and I respect you greatly for stepping in.

corvetteed

these thoughts were the first I had too, after reading your review of the latest incidents. Unfortunately, this situation is only going to progress. It will take over your life, if you let it. The "professionals" are set up to manage this, and with your involvement, the two of you will be able to make the best of the current situation. But, do not try to manage this on your own.

OC-1

In cases of dementia, some people eventually gets so paranoid it is impossible to help.

with meds, some peole can be kept at home if dedicated caregivers, others need to be institutionalized.

Any care facility will first ask any bank accounts, possessions and house by signed over.

The state needs to pull his license and his car needs to be 'disabled'.

Meds may be a temporary answer.

Tough stuff.

jasonsamara

Thanks for the replies. He is big on alternative medicine and has rarely done what his Parkinson's doctor has asked. He starts meds, stops etc. the problem is the more they up the meds to fight his physical symptoms the more he will hallucinate or vice versa. I have called his doctors office and got him in last time but according to his sister that went with him there is not much they can do. The offer was made for a family services type to come and help him with appointments and to check on him but he wants no part of that. I know I can only be.a friend and do what I can do. I appreciate the advice and just letting me talk it out.

capevettes

Tough situation. Obviously he should not be driving. He is a threat to himself and the community. As a Police Chief, I dealt with families under similar situations. When it became clear an individual should not be driving I would contact the Registry of Motor Vehicles and get his license lifted as an "immediate threat." The burden to get his license back is on him to prove he is fit. Talk to your local Police Chief about this. He can also provide you with contact info for mental health outreach workers that can assist you. There are also Parkinson's support groups out there that can help.

He or the family may be unwilling to participate with any kind of help, but you can at least feel that you have done everything that you can to help a friend and family in need. Good luck.

One thing I forgot to mention. My father died from Parkinson's. He had it the last 8 or so years of his life. It's progressive and tough to watch someone you car about decline mentally and physically. Eventually he went into assisted living when we could no longer take car of his needs.

66jack

Cant the Dr have him put in a care facility? as 'a danger to himself and others' to protect him from harm?

Easy Rhino

You're a good and compassionate friend.

It seems as if taking safety actions is falling to you. That is quite the burden of responsibility. You certainly don't want to be party to his getting into worse shape or situations.

I agree with getting him referred to professional help, and quickly. Adult protective services or his physician are good places to start.

Sorry for your friend, but good on you for stepping up.

MidShark

I have a buddy with Parkinson's, and as the disease progresses, it is a continual balancing act to finely adjust or change the meds and get them to work together and be effective. From what you've said, it sounds like he's taking to little or too much (he lives alone- is anyone watching/helping with what he takes?) so he's not doing himself any favors. Somehow his keys have to be taken away immediately (maybe his sister's too ) as it sounds like an accident waiting to happen. I would start with the doctor and then the police if necessary to make that happen. You are a good friend and I feel for you. There will be no winners here.

Rich

GTOguy

What Chuck said. Advanced Parkinson's or Alzheimer's, your friend is in no condition to be running around unsupervised. He could get hurt, killed, or hurt or kill others. He needs medical help ASAP. God bless you for your compassion, and my heart goes out to you over this. I have personally dealt with what you are going through, and can only tell you not to take any outbursts or insults personally....at this stage, the person saying them is not aware of the situation.

MarkC

If he belongs to a church you could check with the minister to see if they can help. Also, even if he looses his drivers license his car needs to be disabled. I applaud you for helping him. Good luck.

Westlotorn

Great advice given already, thanks for being a great friend to your buddy in his last fight.

Frankie the Fink

A lady here in Florida got disoriented and left her car on the tracks at a railroad crossing as she wandered about. Scary stuff.

SDVette

Your a good man Jason.

Sounds like he needs be in assisted living.
Does he have the money or insurance to do it?