For Your Amusement: How NOT To Change A C5 Battery
03-12-2006, 01:04 PM
#1
Le Mans Master
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St. Jude Donor '06
For Your Amusement: How NOT To Change A C5 Battery
This morning's adventure:
1) Driving "emergency backup Corvette" (just kidding, 'Lauren'!), pick up Optima Yellow Top at local Sears Auto Store.
2) Back home in my garage, I can't find the right size combination wrench to untighten the battery terminals, so I use a ratchet instead. This means that I have to angle the old Optima Red Top to get it out. I do at least remember to unscrew the battery clamp-down first.
3) I get the old Red Top out and get the Yellow Top in. I tighten the new battery terminals just enought to check whether the new battery will work. It does - 'Grace' starts right up.
4) I try to get the battery clamp-down in but the Yellow Top's side terminals are in fairly close together and the battery cables need to be re-routed. Once again, I untighten the battery terminals and re-route the battery cables.
5) While retightening the battery terminals, I drop the ratchet. It bounces down somewhere way underneath the battery.
6) I find another ratchet and take the Yellow Top back out.
7) At this point, my lovely wife brings me some coffee and announces that she is heading off to the recycling station. She suggests that I might want to put a fender cover on while I am working on the battery area. Good idea!
8) I take a look at everything I can see around the battery - no ratchet. Time to take the battery tray out and get more work lights.
9) The battery tray is out, but still no visible ratchet. I get my [alert, product plug] magnetic pick-up tool that I got from Griot's Garage and start rooting around in the bottom of the fender area. It grabs something! No, it can't actually be what I'm looking for...it is! Gently, slowly, I bring the ratchet back up.
10) I clean the battery tray, but not too much - those little yellow markings might matter to the NCRS some day.
11) Battery tray goes back in the car and I tighten those four bolts.
12) Battery is back in with terminal tightened appropriately. I start the car again and let it run. I then dither with getting the battery clamp-down correctly aligned and screwed down for another couple of minutes, but we are finally good to go.
Another adventure, but all ends well!
1) Driving "emergency backup Corvette" (just kidding, 'Lauren'!), pick up Optima Yellow Top at local Sears Auto Store.
2) Back home in my garage, I can't find the right size combination wrench to untighten the battery terminals, so I use a ratchet instead. This means that I have to angle the old Optima Red Top to get it out. I do at least remember to unscrew the battery clamp-down first.
3) I get the old Red Top out and get the Yellow Top in. I tighten the new battery terminals just enought to check whether the new battery will work. It does - 'Grace' starts right up.
4) I try to get the battery clamp-down in but the Yellow Top's side terminals are in fairly close together and the battery cables need to be re-routed. Once again, I untighten the battery terminals and re-route the battery cables.
5) While retightening the battery terminals, I drop the ratchet. It bounces down somewhere way underneath the battery.
6) I find another ratchet and take the Yellow Top back out.
7) At this point, my lovely wife brings me some coffee and announces that she is heading off to the recycling station. She suggests that I might want to put a fender cover on while I am working on the battery area. Good idea!
8) I take a look at everything I can see around the battery - no ratchet. Time to take the battery tray out and get more work lights.
9) The battery tray is out, but still no visible ratchet. I get my [alert, product plug] magnetic pick-up tool that I got from Griot's Garage and start rooting around in the bottom of the fender area. It grabs something! No, it can't actually be what I'm looking for...it is! Gently, slowly, I bring the ratchet back up.
10) I clean the battery tray, but not too much - those little yellow markings might matter to the NCRS some day.
11) Battery tray goes back in the car and I tighten those four bolts.
12) Battery is back in with terminal tightened appropriately. I start the car again and let it run. I then dither with getting the battery clamp-down correctly aligned and screwed down for another couple of minutes, but we are finally good to go.
Another adventure, but all ends well!
03-12-2006, 01:55 PM
#5
Race Director
You dropped your wrench down the "BLACK HOLE"!?!?!?! 
My wife offered to stick her hand down there when I did it (her arms and hands are smaller in diameter...)and I wouldn't let her! I had no idea what gremlins or creatures were lurking down there looking to take a piece of sacrificial flesh!
At first, I said - "F**K IT! The wrench is gone forever!" Then I thought about it and found my handy, dandy magnetic extending pickup - and I snagged the wrench!
Thanks for sharing your story - and you know now you're not the only one that has ever done it!
My wife offered to stick her hand down there when I did it (her arms and hands are smaller in diameter...)and I wouldn't let her! I had no idea what gremlins or creatures were lurking down there looking to take a piece of sacrificial flesh!
At first, I said - "F**K IT! The wrench is gone forever!" Then I thought about it and found my handy, dandy magnetic extending pickup - and I snagged the wrench!
Thanks for sharing your story - and you know now you're not the only one that has ever done it!
03-12-2006, 03:00 PM
#7
Race Director
Hmmmm, last time I worked on my car I had three Bud Lights dissapear when I wasn't looking. Maybe that's where they went. 
03-12-2006, 03:24 PM
#8
Race Director
Don't forget to reprogram the key fobs!
03-12-2006, 03:35 PM
#9
Safety Car
Wow. The first time I undid my battery I managed to drop the 8mm short socket 'down there'. I never did find it. Then about a year later I was putting new shocks on and decided to take a look at the PCM so I took off the inner fender. There was the socket, next to the PCM. I had all but forgotten about it. Glad to see you found yours sooner. 
03-12-2006, 03:37 PM
#11
Burning Brakes
It is my norm for a job to take four times as long as necessary. 1/4 of the time to actually do the work, and 3/4 to retrieve the tools and parts I drop into the bowels of the bodywork 
03-12-2006, 04:19 PM
#13
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Originally Posted by shellback
So what's up with the key fobs? Do they really need to be reprogramed after a battery change?
03-12-2006, 04:34 PM
#14
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Originally Posted by lspalding
It is my norm for a job to take four times as long as necessary. 1/4 of the time to actually do the work, and 3/4 to retrieve the tools and parts I drop into the bowels of the bodywork
Yup, always happens this way, or I wind up breaking a part, then have to special order it, or drive to the store etc...
03-12-2006, 05:33 PM
#15
Le Mans Master
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Originally Posted by lspalding
It is my norm for a job to take four times as long as necessary. 1/4 of the time to actually do the work, and 3/4 to retrieve the tools and parts I drop into the bowels of the bodywork.
03-12-2006, 05:42 PM
#16
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Great ending! Man, those magnetic tool finders sure help. And, I know the feeling. If it's not a dropped tool in the engine bay, I always seem to get my big paw stuck inside the front maw of the C5 whenever I have had to change out the damn fog light bulbs..., and, effing sit there for what seems unending hours until I am able to wrangle free. ****!
03-12-2006, 06:03 PM
#17
Melting Slicks
Sometimes I think I need some of that glue or whatever it is that foot ball receivers put on their hands. I really like chasing nuts and bolts across the floor when I'm underneath it. 
03-12-2006, 06:58 PM
#18
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It's a real PITA when a tool falls down under the battery. I know exactly how you felt.
03-12-2006, 06:59 PM
#19
Drifting
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Originally Posted by connecticut
a lot have dropped items down there, it's OK if it happens ONCE
As far as I know it's still there
03-12-2006, 07:09 PM
#20
Le Mans Master
My 8mm socket is still down there somewhere ... or laying on the side of the road.
The day I changed my battery, it was 100 degrees ... hottest in 5 years ... and I was sweating like a pig, got sweat all over my glasses, couldn't see ... and a 10 minute job took over an hour.
The day I changed my battery, it was 100 degrees ... hottest in 5 years ... and I was sweating like a pig, got sweat all over my glasses, couldn't see ... and a 10 minute job took over an hour.
