Originally Posted by Maxx_Z06
but I will not be comfortable ANYWHERE unless my Z is in a safe place. Call me **** but i love my car.
You think you're ****, huh? LOL!! I can top that!! I've made a life-long study of parking lots!! Here's my decision tree - (all in good fun of course)
1) Do I have to take the Vette? No=take daily driver and stop this madness. Yes=go to next step.
1.1) Do not consider any area that requires parallel parking. If this is your only option, go to step 13.
1.2) Does establishment have more than 17 motorcycles parked in front of it? No=go to step 2. Yes= go to step 13.
1.3) Are you are parking in a motel/hotel lot and staying overnight? Yes=call insurance company before leaving car to pre-file a claim, go to END. No= go to next step.
1.4) Valet parking? Yes= go to step 13.
2) Choose parking space way out in lot that is at least 10 empty spaces away from nearest car. If available go to step 3. If not available, go to step AAA.
3) Is this space near a light pole with an operating light? Yes= go to step 4, No=forget this space and go back to step 2.
4) Does this light pole have a security camera mounted on it with a view of your car? Yes=go to step 5, No=forget this space and go to step 2.
5) Are loose shopping carts just scattered around within 20 parking spaces of chosen spot? Yes= forget this space and go to step 2. No= go to step 6.
6) Are there any individuals loitering in the lot and staring at your car?
Yes= go to step 13. No= go to step 7.
7) Park car, set e-brake, lock doors, set security system. Make sure your concealed weapon is printing as you walk away. Do not waste time looking at hot chicks, aimlessly browsing merchandise or the menu, or smelling the roses. Return promptly, determine if car is still there, inspect for vanadlism, drive away. Optionally leave SO or friend in car with weapon while you complete your business. Go to END.
AAA) Identify potential parking space. Is space on the end of a parking aisle and are you feeling bold today? Yes= go to step 8. No= go to step 13.
8) Is there a minivan in the spot next to the one you have chosen? Yes=discard this space and go to AAA. No= go to step 9.
9) Is the car that you park next to have the passenger door facing your spot? Yes= go to step 10. No=discard this space and go to AAA.
10) Is the spot you have chosen have one of those cart return areas within 2 spaces of your chosen spot? Yes=discard this space and go to step AAA. No=go to step 11.
11) Can you see the car from inside the establishment during the entire time of your visit? Yes= go to step 12). No= discard this space and go to step AAA.
12) Can you cheat a little by parking the car on the marked line for the parking space that puts your car farther away from a potential pasenger door strike from the car next to you (don't go so far as to have passing cars potentially collide with yours because you're overhanging the spot into the traffic lane). Yes=go to step 7. No= go to step 13.
13) Leave immediately, go home, lock Vette in garage, get in daily driver and return to establishment, park anywhere. Enjoy your visit.