Ol'55

Very sad not the golden rule for sure.

tbyrne

Thank you for the info! I will pass that along to him.

The paternity test is the worst part of this whole subject. That is the one thing that could suck the most if the outcome isn't in his favor because that little girl is absolutely everything and I mean everything to him! If the test doesn't show that he's the father, then he is still her Dad!

He filed first, currently lives in the marital home, they split the mortage monthly. They have shared custody and alternate a few days each week. The soon to be ex lives at home with her parents.

It is really that important to be the person that files for divorce first? I have really strong opinions about divorce and how guys get screwed. It's totally not right! Seperations should be fair instead of the woman trying to get everything and actually be awarded everything. Then there are the huge amounts awarded for child support. Much more than is required to support the kids. Some exes can live off of that money too.

tbyrne

Quick update, seeing that this is being held close to the 31st, we're going to turn into a Halloween party too! There will be a contest for best costume. Prizes for that are -

1st place - $100.00
2nd place - $50.00
3rd place - $25.00

Food is going to be catered and some of us will be making stuff too!

Supercharger John

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend...My ex-brother in-law (who I still like to this day) has delt with a cheeting wife now for years...

In fact, his story sounds allot like this one...My ex-wife would have me go to my ex-brother in laws to spy on his wife to see what she was up to while he was away out of town on business...

I would take one of my pals on these spy missions...looking for my ex-brother in-laws wife...I would drive to the doctors house and office looking for them...(My ex-wife would call her mother to let her know that I was out looking to see what I could find.)

My ex-brother in law's wife had her gym membership paid by her boss, and the gym was 2 town's away from where she lived...She could have easily worked out closer to her home. She would be there working out on the weekends and I would see her working out and the doc from time to time...

I would say now this is really wiered to my ex-wife...

My ex-brother in law's wife had her cell phone paid by her boss (which he was never allowed to call.)...again, this was wiered...

We would have parties at my house and she would always leave early (this was on a Sunday nights) claimining she had a "headache" and not feeling very well then she would be at the office that same evening working late.

She was also snagged at the airport coming off of the airplaine by my ex-brother in law as she walked with the Doctor....As well as seen in Norstorms shopping with her boss (the foot doctor) by my ex-brother in law's cusin...and looking extremly suspiecious...

Like you are "Cold busted"...

Again your buddy's story sounds exactly like my ex-brother in-laws situation and I'm sorry to hear all this...I wish your pal the best...


"My buddy's wife would work late most and take alot of business trips, she was always cold/mean to him and not even close to being the most affectionate person in the world.

Once in awhile I would ask if he thought she was seeing someone else and he'd say no. He could call her at work and she'd pretty much always be there.

Then I'd ask if there was anything going on with her boss. This is the guy she always traveled with. He said no. He would kid around with her about something going on but the wife said that she didn't find that guy attractive so there was no chance of that happening.

Jump ahead to a few months ago, he was starting to get really suspecious after he went into her car for something and came across an "I love you" card that, based on the way things were going, wasn't for him.

This was a few days before a business trip. He ended up hiring a private investigator to follow them while they were away. That was the best money he has ever spent!

They provided him with pictures, video, audio and a written play by play of everything that happened. The investigator stayed in the room next to him so he got all of the good stuff!

The boss has been dipping his pen in the company ink for years! She admitted to seeing him for at least 2 years but other things show that they've been together alot longer.

So my buddy moved her out of the house before they got back from trip. She is now staying with her mother and still seeing the other guy. His wife kicked him out after she found out what was going on.

The soon to be ex wife is now trying to screw him any way she can during the divorce. You would think that after what happened, she'd agree to terms that wouldn't cause the family any more pain.

He draw up a very reasonable agreement and she shot everything down. It's still all about her! She took $5000. from their home equity line of credit a day before the divorce paperwork was filed, she expects him to pay half of her shopping and tanning bills (the other guy got all of the benefits from these), she wants him to take the depreciation hit with the house sells plus a bunch of things that I'm missing.

Also, he would love to have full custody of his 5 year old daughter, she wants split custody along with full child support paid to her.

This is a guy that is truly a very, very good person. As I tell people, if I had a female friend that was single and needed a date, he'd be the person that I'd suggest.

In the end, I think the person that runs out of money first will give in and she really doesn't deserve to come out the winner here. This whole thing might seem a little off the wall, but I want to help him thought this. Plus, deep down I think I'm also doing this for all of the guys that have been screwed during a divorce. I might be one of them someday!"

Thank you for reading!
Tom

tbyrne

Thanks John! As someone, actually have a few people have told me... "their all sisters". I know there are good woman out there but even the good ones can turn bad. I guess the same goes for guys too. In the end, the whole marriage thing should be eliminated. That doesn't really have anything to do with love, it's about money. The courts wouldn't be involved if it was about love, only the florist and DJ.

The benefit will be on Sunday if anyone else is interested in going.

Cyclonite

As bad as it seems for your buddy, just remember this one bit of advice...Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!

What goes around comes around, and she'll get hers in the end. Karma is kinda funny like that. I'm sure my ex is having fun living back home with her mom-the wicked witch (with a capital "B") of the west-and her dimwitted brother.

Tell your pal to hang in there, life gets a lot better once the legal crap is all over.

moserbe

The man always gets screwed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tbyrne

My had a great time tonight! And I'm going to have enough extra food to cover lunch all week. Now we just have to see how things work out for him legally. Good things happen to good people so I think he'll be ok.

tbyrne

I've found that the ex's boyfriend's father is a board member here. What a small world! Interesting to hear that he condones his son's behavior...

burtonbl103

WOW~

SpeedRacerGirl

Well first off as a member of the opposite sex let me say that Im sorry for your friend and we arent all like that. Further I can understand the pain he is going through. Im do to get married in the next 3 weeks and well... this is my first marraige and his second, cut to the chase I asked him to sign a pre-nup because unfortunately s... like this happens. It didnt go over very well but all I can say is that its better to be safe then sorry. I wont be able to make the fundraiser but I would like to send some money on his behalf. Please let me know how.

I wish him the best

parkerracing

Use the paternity test as leverage for her to back down on some key point$. Use the evidence the PI gathered as further leverage lest it be "shared" with the bosses future ex.

If she dosen't, get very close with the Mrs. Boss (and her attorney) and have her drain HIM dry. You might get them living out of a cardboard box sooner rather than later. It's a biotch when your karma runs over your dogma (or what goes around comes around). Good luck dude. /:\

tbyrne

I also had a pre-nupt drawn up before I got married a few years ago. To many stories about marriages going down the drain. Couples are totally in love and want to do anything to make eachother happy when they take that trip down the isle. But later, when things don't work out, they usually don't like eachother to much and at one will probably try to get as much as possible from the other person. My girlfriend (now wife) wasn't happy when I said that I wouldn't get married without one. She said that I was planning on it failing. I explained that like insurance, you hope you never need it but it's there just in case. Mine might come in handy soon. Never know.

We actually had the fundraiser in October but thank you very much for the offer.

As for my buddy, I can't get to deep into the details for obvious reasons but I can tell you that it looks like the divorce will be dragging out for awhile. You'd think that a person that got caught cheating for years would want to wrap it up quickly and make it as easy as possible for their spouse. Then everyone can get on with their lives. That's definately not the case here.

tbyrne

Mrs. Boss has all of the details. He wasn't living at home for long after she found out.

Kayleka496

She miss a very good chance. Its really sad to hear.