Your joke for the day
#1
Your joke for the day
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September 16, 2015
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-25, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
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Happy LivingLike Page
September 16, 2015
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-25, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
(¯`•.•´¯)¸•´¯☆
.`•.¸¸.•´ ♥SHARE a Laugh ♥
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Popular Reply
07-28-2016, 08:12 PM
Team Owner
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St. Jude Donor'15
I like the one I see of Facebook where the C7 is pulled over and a police officer is standing outside the car.
The caption reads, "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"
The Corvette owner replies, "Ummm, because I let you?
.
The caption reads, "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"
The Corvette owner replies, "Ummm, because I let you?
.
#2
Team Owner
Member Since: Jan 2007
Location: cookeville tennessee
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ttt
That is a good one, But also a OLD one.
#3
Team Owner
#5
Safety Car
From my own site (http://defaria.com/Jokes/OldLady.php):
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see....Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the! car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Moral: Don't mess with little old ladies!
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see....Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the! car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Moral: Don't mess with little old ladies!
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Landru (07-29-2016)
#7
Racer
A husband went to police station to report his missing wife:
Husband: I've lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home.
Sergeant: What is her height?
Husband: Oh, 5 something . . .
Sergeant: Build?
Husband: Not slim not really fat.
Sergeant: Color of eyes?
Husband: Never noticed.
Sergeant: color of hair?
Husband: Changes according to season.
Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Dress/suit/blue jeans -- I don't remember exactly.
Sergeant: Did she go in a car?
Husband: Yes.
Sergeant: What kind of car was it?
Husband: 2015 Corvette Stingray 3LT with the Z51 Performance Package, shark gray metallic paint, with the 6.2 litre V8 engine with Direct Injection generating 460 HP, 8-speed paddle-shift automatic transmission, and GT bucket seats, and has a very thin scratch on the front left door.
.......... at this point the husband started crying....
Sergeant: Don't worry sir.....We'll find your car.
Husband: I've lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home.
Sergeant: What is her height?
Husband: Oh, 5 something . . .
Sergeant: Build?
Husband: Not slim not really fat.
Sergeant: Color of eyes?
Husband: Never noticed.
Sergeant: color of hair?
Husband: Changes according to season.
Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Dress/suit/blue jeans -- I don't remember exactly.
Sergeant: Did she go in a car?
Husband: Yes.
Sergeant: What kind of car was it?
Husband: 2015 Corvette Stingray 3LT with the Z51 Performance Package, shark gray metallic paint, with the 6.2 litre V8 engine with Direct Injection generating 460 HP, 8-speed paddle-shift automatic transmission, and GT bucket seats, and has a very thin scratch on the front left door.
.......... at this point the husband started crying....
Sergeant: Don't worry sir.....We'll find your car.
#8
Drifting
Another oldie:
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Corvette in the garage, and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies.
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Corvette in the garage, and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies.
#9
Team Owner
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St. Jude Donor'15
I like the one I see of Facebook where the C7 is pulled over and a police officer is standing outside the car.
The caption reads, "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"
The Corvette owner replies, "Ummm, because I let you?
.
The caption reads, "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"
The Corvette owner replies, "Ummm, because I let you?
.
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#11
Burning Brakes
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Corgidog1 (07-29-2016)
#13
My joke of the day is being challenged by a Prius. Should have asked if he wanted me to race in reverse
#14
Pro
#16
Burning Brakes
There was a terrible accident on the freeway. A Highway Patrolman pulls up to the scene and there is a new Corvette will the entire left side of the car ripped off, including the drivers left arm. The Patrolman goes over to the driver and the driver is moaning "Oh, my Zo6! Oh, my Zo6!". The Patrolman says, "Forget the damn car man! Your left arm is gone!". The driver looks down and moans, "Oh, my Rolex, my Rolex!"
#17
Team Owner
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St. Jude Donor'15
Guys, this thread can stay as along as the jokes are Corvette related. Otherwise, they will be deleted.......
#18
Le Mans Master
I got pulled over in my Vette yesterday.
The law enforcement officer came up to my car and said "papers". I said "Scissors, I win." and drove off.
The law enforcement officer came up to my car and said "papers". I said "Scissors, I win." and drove off.
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#20
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Thanks. You guys gave me a good start to the day before I drive down to cars and coffee.