|
'How
do I know when I'm good enough at celibacy to stop practicing
it?'
|
'You
sound reasonable...Time to up my medication'
|
|
'My
Laptop PC ups my productivity. Get one and Up Yours!'
|
'Geezer
formerly known as studmuffin'
|
|
'Men
are animals. But some of us make good pets'
|
'Men
are from Mars, women are from Venus. This explains the fights
over where to set the thermostat'
|
|
'God
brought us together. Prozac made us friends.'
|
'Do
not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead
of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either.
Just leave me the hell alone.'
|
|
'If
I throw a stick, will you leave?'
|
'I'll
try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.'
|
|
'So
you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!'
|
'If
I wanted my raisins plump and juicy, I'd eat grapes.'
|
|
'My
toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!'
|
'Here
I am! Now, what are your other two wishes?'
|
|
'You!
Off my planet!'
|
'I've
found Jesus. (He was behind the couch the whole time.)'
|
|
'With
friends like these, who needs enemas?'
|
'Someday
we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car'
|
|
'Cheap,
fast, and easy. I guess I really am what I eat'
|
'My
friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're
just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet'
|
