Things
NOT to say to a cop!
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I
can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
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Sorry,
Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged
in.
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Aren't
you the guy from the Village People?
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Hey,
you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me!
Good job!
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Excuse
me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
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I
thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition
to be a police officer.
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I
was going to be a trooper, but I decided to finish high
school instead.
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Bad
cop! No donut!
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You're
not gonna check the trunk, are you?
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Gee,
that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
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Wow,
you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's
nightstand.
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Is
it true that people become troopers because they are too
dumb to work at McDonald's?
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I
pay your salary!
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So,
uh, you on the take, or what?
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Gee,
Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me
a warning, too!
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Do
you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us
does.
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I
was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is
no other car around--that's how far ahead of me they are.
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What
do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained
specialist.
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Well,
when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell
off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the
gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
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Hey,
is that a 9 mm? How's that compare to this one here?
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Say
Hi to your wife and my kids!
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