Kerrmudgeon

Hey everyone out there in Classic Corvette country. I hope you're all in good health and spirits this weekend. Remember this is your special Yuk yuk thread so please join in with some funny stuff....go ahead, make my weekend!
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A little Canuck content to start with but it's easily transferable across borders......
[indent]Jiggs McDonald, NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster speaking in Ontario, says:
"I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Toronto. I think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus, the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance."

"That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque; thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy," and the other, a topless bar, would be called "You Mecca Me Hot."

"Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called “Iraq of Ribs." Across the street, there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria. Keeps Nothing Secret," with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods, and on other side, a liquor store called " Morehammered."

"All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us.”

Yes we should ALL promote tolerance, If you are not laughing or smiling at this point, it is midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed.



And now our regularly sponsored viewing........

























It was a few days before Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back home. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols.
Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was not in a particularly good mood. (Almost a scrooge) Going to check in his luggage (which, for some reason, had become one suitcase with entirely new clothes), he saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and pointer parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way.
With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, he said to the attendant, "Even if we were married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe."
"Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is."
"Ok, I see that it's above the luggage scale which is the place you'd have to step forward for a kiss."
"That's not why it's there."
"Ok, I give up. Why is it there?"
"It's there so you can kiss your luggage good-bye."



With his wife out for the evening, a father was trying to watch TV, but his young son kept coming in and asking for a glass of water.
After the seventh glass, the father lost his temper and yelled: "Go to sleep, I'm watching TV."
"But Dad," he protested, "my room is still on fire!"



Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, a company matching retirement fund for 50% of your salary, and a company car leased every 2 years -- say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

Kerrmudgeon

Time to empty out this weeks pic dump......

MAD IN NC

MAD IN NC

MAD IN NC

MAD IN NC

Part 1

Part 2

MAD IN NC

MAD IN NC

vetintheblood

93RubyRedCoupe

MAD IN NC

Sixty years in five minutes....

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/emb...XTAajEzY?rel=0

toddalin

"Islam served," he asked sheepishly???

Kerrmudgeon

New Greeting Cards New Greeting Cards.....
I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love, and now that you've come into my life...
(Inside card)
I've changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought religion into my life.
(Inside card) I never believed in Hell until I met you.

As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside card) That you're not here to ruin it for me.

Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

Someday I hope to marry...
(Inside card) Someone other than you.

Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) Almost lifelike!

When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

We've been friends for a very long time...
(Inside card) What do you say we stop?

I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside card) It's almost like you're still here.

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) Did you ever find out who the father was?

You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
(Inside card) I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) So we're having you put to sleep.

Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...
(Inside card) What was I thinking?

Congratulations on your wedding day!
(Inside card) Too bad no one likes your husband.

Kerrmudgeon

LouieM

SIGN IN A RESTAURANT IN ANCHORAGE, ALASKA.

MAD IN NC

MAD IN NC

63 340HP

out2kayak

stellar

I can't tell. They are blindfolded