And we still take time to pull over for a funeral and pay our respects no matter what color the desiest is.

 

I think he's playing "Uno"



Because the South has put all of that behind it

 

When you're new on the block, you shouldn't say or type everything you think.

 

hey daine, beeing italian, could i ever expect to enter the red neck league or members must only be american?
also, i was a president clinton supporter (and prayed during the elections that bush stayed out fm the buttons room...), will this have negative consequences in my admision???

 

Thank you for your post GDaina. And you too Bangkok Dean. I am a proud American, Veteran and Redneck. And I also believe in God.

By the way, the tag on my Hog is REDNEK (only 6 characters allowed). Your posts are appreciated.

Y'all have a great day,

Travis

 

panic,

Being a redneck isn't so much a matter of where you live but how you live. The big trouble with America today is there aren't enough rednecks in charge. If you believe all the things here you have read here about being a redneck, I'll welcome you in.


Bill

 

bill, it's easy to agree to the things i've read here, they are common sense everywhere civilized people lives, work, enjoy and fight for a better world

 

It's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think your an idiot than to open it and remove all doubt.

 

Subject: **Texas Chili**
For those who have ever lived in Texas, you know how TRUE this is! They actually have a chili cook-off about the time the rodeo comes to town and it takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome!

Grab a tissue, this is hilarious!
Notes from an inexperienced 'Chili Taster' named FRANK who was visiting Texas from the East Coast.
"Recently I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came.

I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very Mild.
FRANK: Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff?? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one...these Texans are crazy.

Chili #2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili
JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili #3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill! My nose feels like have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite! The Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm also getting ****-faced from all the beer.

Chili #4: Bubba's Black Magic
JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burnout taste buds?! Sally, the Barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili #5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must
admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!

Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic. Superb.
FRANK: My intestines are now just a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I **** myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that **** Sally...she must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my *** with a snow cone!

Chili #7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like **** to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it through the 4- inch hole in my stomach.

Chili #8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Very enjoyable. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot chili?

FRANK: ........(editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report.)

 

I like fried Okra.....and left over corn bread fried in bacon grease....but I don't like cheese grits....

So Cal boy.....

 

I forgot how much fun good chili can be.

Bill

 

LOL George, or should I say Georgina ... remember the threads about this "asset to the forum" sure makes one rethink those

 

Uh Oh..Georgina ????

 

detroit...WHAT!!!!

we have potholes, empty lots, and expressways.......

wanna breakdance?

 

Fried okra, southern fried chicken and catfish. Hard to find my favorite foods in yankeeland.

 

And I r one 2

 

you can keep my share of chicken fried steak and okra...and grits too! other than that, i love the south!

 

 

Basset Hounds = best dogs ever

/miss mine
//he's been gone many years, but I still smile when I think of that goofball