ruxvette

Ok, serious stuff here...the LSDHL is out of town so I was making my dinner and sliced my index finger. After putting a band-aid on the cut I now find it won't fit in my nose. And that was my "go to" picker finger. Jeez, what to do?

Shaolin Crane

Been there done that, I have donated my body to the Science exhibit foundation after I go. I fill out a form yearly about the usage and compounds that go in and what not.

rkj427

maybe I can see if the baser's would be willing to part with some bottle return money to get you your choice of the items below...…………..

anything to help a brother out...………..

rkj427

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?'

'Eight', the boy replied.



The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'

The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four."

"Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin.

"Yes." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those."

Huskerman

question. It says auto saved as I type my posts and then I screw up and lose half the post. So how do I get it back? What do I click to make it appear as it was before I lost it. Where does the auto save go? Please inform.

wayback

Well I'm not sure either. Best bet is to just quit screwing up................oh wait, never mind.

Huskerman

GS'er driving.......basers working the window........

duckvett

Oh, you've lost it alright................

Huskerman

rkj427

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed a twenty something year old man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. That seemed to amuse him even more. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

At the precinct, the officers asked the man what he had to say for himself. The man replied, “Well officer, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition.

She sat under a sweets poster that said, ‘The Double Mint Twins are Coming’ and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a poster that said ‘Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling’ and I had to smile.

Then she moved again and placed herself under a deodorant poster that said ‘William’s Big Stick Did the Trick’, and I could hardly contain myself.

But officer, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the poster that said ‘Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident’ I just lost it.”



He was sent home with a warning.

ruxvette

Well, hamsters, it has been cold here in AZ...barely hit 70 today. I'm hoping for a warming trend before I head to WA for Christmas...gotta keep my tan going. My son and DIL are going to be in town so I must be there.
Looking forward to March when the Michiganites are expected. Also looking forward to a Hammys gathering next summer. Perhaps in Nevada???
Tomorrow is National Cat Herders Day and I have not a clue what that is all about...but seems there is a song rollin, rollin, rollin, keep them cats a rollin, man my *** is swollen, rawhide!!!
Carry on...

ruxvette

A little Christmas humor:
Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar...Santa drives a rusty car...Press the starter...Press the choke...Off he goes in a cloud of smoke!

wayback

rkj427

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness.
Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a pile up on the freeway.

You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, but something happened.

I’m trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your ***** was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You’ve got $20,000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new ***** that will work as well as your old one did, better in fact!

But the thing is, it doesn’t come cheap. It’s $2,000 an inch.”

The man perks up at this.

“So,” the doctor says, “It’s for you to decide how many inches you want, but it’s something you’d better discuss with your wife.”

The man agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day.

“So,” says the doctor, “have you spoken with your wife?”

“I have,” says the man.

“And has she helped you in making the decision?” asked the doctor.

“She has,” says the man.

“And what is it?” asks the doctor.


“We’re getting a new kitchen.”

Huskerman

That's funny..... great weather here. 50's here today so Texas will be in the 90's I am not gonna do nothiin all day........ It has come to my attention that there is a new liberal left wing buzzword out there that I find amusing. If you are in with the modern young think you will identify someone who is hip, as socially woke. Like in he is socially woke. meaning he gets it. He is in line with the party think.
I am not socially woke. I am socially asleep. As would most of us here at the old school Hammy's. Hey you know them basers? They is socially woke. Actually they is socially broke because they are taking to many socially tokes. Just wanting you to keep up with the times. Also there is another buzzword out there...... Micro Aggression. As in, the basers are showing micro aggression to the BSGS. I know about Micro nutrients and Micro brews but not Micro Aggressions. So please stop having them.....whatever they are.

Well better take my morning nap......have a micro day Hamms.

Shaolin Crane

Which is hilarious because anyone who largely identifies with either major political party isn't "woke" but the radical liberals and conservatives both like to use that phrase a lot.

I just want to live on an Island in Fiji with my own gym

Huskerman

When you get your place make sure you have a pool house for guests to visit. I will come and work out with you and we can have stimulating conversations about life, the universe and of course dogs.

Huskerman

So yesterday up where my wife teaches Kindergarten they had a funny incident. It was a very warm day for this country in the upper 40's and so all the kids were out at 3:00 recess. When a man, actually the husband of one of the teachers, shows up on a Harley dressed like Santa. As it turns out he is supposed to be there for his wife's class at 3:30 after recess is over. So recess is on a large open field to the east of the building that has swings and tetherball and a jungle gym and all the stuff kids do at recess. It is bordered by the streets on 3 sides and for some reason he slows down and drives along the bordering streets real slow back to the back parking lot then back out over to the front of the school. There were probably 140 4th thru K kids out on the playground area when he showed up. My wife said that chaos ensued when seeing Santa ride slowly, the older kids immediately broke and gave chase. Then all 140 kids joined in the stampede as they charged around chasing the Santa as he rode around the school. Teachers couldn't stop them, the younger smaller kids were being trampled as the herd now in full riot stormed from one end of the playground to another. Kids were crying, some were fighting as the now spooked Santa did not know what to do. If he stopped he would be swarmed out on the street and if he keeps going he will continue to lead the carnage. My wife says she has never seen anything like it. Santa finally just left and the herd broke up as teachers were yelling and grabbing kids and getting them picked up and in line. That is a scene right out of Christmas Story I said. We had a good laugh over it.

It kinda reminded me of the basers when the PBR truck showed up that time and they were chasing it around trying to get it to stop. Sad to watch.

rkj427

sad because the GS'ers were too slow to catch it???????? Thought you were getting a tree and decorating it????????

Baser's worked diligently in the hovel getting it decorated with Christmas spirit................

have a wreath on the door..................




a small tree set on top of the bar...........................




a larger tree set up in the lounge area............................




baser camp protection to keep the GS'ers riff raff out.............................




and we also had this tree topper we were going to provide another patron in America's heartland for his tree..................... all in the spirit of the season..............

Shaolin Crane

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