Hammy's Grand Sport Bar & Grill
Burning Brakes
I had a brilliant idea last night.......if Hammy's B & G went dry then the basers could not steal from us....... huh?....huh?.... I know right......why didn't we think of that before.......here they come up the stairs to grab some booze and ...... its all soft drinks........hahahaahaaahah......brilli ant....... that is why they pay me the big bucks.......... have to go out in the sun again today.......more later...... have a nice day!
We can arrange to empty out the upper bar if that is what you would like
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And, H1...when you are out in the sun...wear a hat! Dry bar???
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What's going on? No posts in more than 24 hours? Something ain't right.
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maybe a few of the patrons were caught up in a Romantic Dinner like the one below...………….
A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.
They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair, under the table and under the table cloth, but the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and totally out of sight under the table.
Still, the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risqué and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man, "Pardon me sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."
The man calmly looked up at her and said: "No she didn't, she just walked in."
A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.
They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair, under the table and under the table cloth, but the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and totally out of sight under the table.
Still, the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risqué and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man, "Pardon me sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."
The man calmly looked up at her and said: "No she didn't, she just walked in."
Last edited by rkj427; 07-11-2018 at 05:59 PM.
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GrayGrandSport (07-12-2018)
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Don't blame me. I had cataract surgery and, because of a spot on my retina, the doc put in a gas bubble (in my eye, way, IN MY EYE) and told me to keep my head down for a couple days.
Honest .
I can get a note from my doctor.
Honest .
I can get a note from my doctor.
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They also put this on my wrist and said I had to wear it until the gas in my eye dissipated. Trying to be funny, I asked if they had a brightly colored one to wear for gas "down there". She said no, those are brown.
Oops, gotta put my head down.
Oops, gotta put my head down.
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I've been dealing with a situation like this, in trucker terms so my friends here can understand...…………
say a guy takes a tractor, trailer and a load for you, says he will deliver it and when the job is done so is he...…………..
takes the truck and load from the terminal, drives it to some dark desolate area, and then disappears...………………..
sends you a message that he changed his mind and is done now, with no information where the truck and load are at, and since the load is perishable, and needed to be delivered in a timely manner, all hell breaks loose looking for it, and trying to get it where it goes on time...………..
sumbitch at work gave his notice, told them he is leaving in 10 days, did this on the Friday before the 4th week, then didn't show up, left all his work unfinished, and no way to get information from his computer...……. so, since I did it before, it somehow became my responsibility as his manager, and our director were both out that week...………….
finished that up, and then had to be ready for another parts review with 115 parts there today...……….
seems it "sucks to be me" for the past 11 days...…………..
but like my Dad always said, you find sympathy in the dictionary...……….
somewhere between **** and syphilis...……….
hope you get better there Ruxxy!
gas or no gas, wishing you the best...……….
say a guy takes a tractor, trailer and a load for you, says he will deliver it and when the job is done so is he...…………..
takes the truck and load from the terminal, drives it to some dark desolate area, and then disappears...………………..
sends you a message that he changed his mind and is done now, with no information where the truck and load are at, and since the load is perishable, and needed to be delivered in a timely manner, all hell breaks loose looking for it, and trying to get it where it goes on time...………..
sumbitch at work gave his notice, told them he is leaving in 10 days, did this on the Friday before the 4th week, then didn't show up, left all his work unfinished, and no way to get information from his computer...……. so, since I did it before, it somehow became my responsibility as his manager, and our director were both out that week...………….
finished that up, and then had to be ready for another parts review with 115 parts there today...……….
seems it "sucks to be me" for the past 11 days...…………..
but like my Dad always said, you find sympathy in the dictionary...……….
somewhere between **** and syphilis...……….
hope you get better there Ruxxy!
gas or no gas, wishing you the best...……….
Last edited by rkj427; 07-11-2018 at 08:49 PM.
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geez I read that whole first paragraph waiting for the punch line....... bad joke Rocky....... me no laugh..... I have had that happen to me........truck was not loaded though.......but still played hell finding it...... f'n sob's.......... idiot drivers....... somebody put a bottle on the bar........ chit fire.....now I'm pissed.......
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more bad gas Ruxy? wowser........
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H1 should be getting close for the fly and drive adventure if I recall correctly...……….
hoping that all goes well, and you accomplish all the goals / plans you have for this event...……
looking good for duckvette too in the photo contest...…………. leading by a wide margin and that picture is truly heads and shoulders above the others there...…
seems we have a few patrons under the doctors orders...……. Ruxxy representing the wide bodied boys, and R & L leading the charge for the basers……….
here's hoping that both get everything back in order sooner rather than later...………..
hoping that all goes well, and you accomplish all the goals / plans you have for this event...……
looking good for duckvette too in the photo contest...…………. leading by a wide margin and that picture is truly heads and shoulders above the others there...…
seems we have a few patrons under the doctors orders...……. Ruxxy representing the wide bodied boys, and R & L leading the charge for the basers……….
here's hoping that both get everything back in order sooner rather than later...………..
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I told you that farting could be dangerous Roxy. At least she was nice enough not to tell you yours was Green. Hope you get the gas out soon. Keep your head down....incoming ha ha
Last edited by NOWUCME; 07-11-2018 at 10:34 PM.
Melting Slicks
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Yup. That's better!
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looking good for duckvette too in the photo contest...…………. leading by a wide margin and that picture is truly heads and shoulders above the others there...…
Thanks for the reminder RK, put in a vote for Duckvette....looking good right now.
H1 should be getting close for the fly and drive adventure if I recall correctly...……….
Ahh the great PNW, Portland here we come.
:
Thanks for the reminder RK, put in a vote for Duckvette....looking good right now.
H1 should be getting close for the fly and drive adventure if I recall correctly...……….
Ahh the great PNW, Portland here we come.
:
Burning Brakes
One day down in South Carolina this cop sitting behind this billboard see this long white shinny Cadillac come rolling down the interstate at exactly 55 miles per hour. Not 54 miles per hour, not 56 miles per hour, dead smack on 55 miles per hour. This cop figures they must be up to something so out he comes and pulls them over. Walks up to the driver’s door, the window still up, pulls out his nightstick and Tap Tap Tap on the window. The driver, very arrogantly hits the button and the window slides down. Cop starts to smack the driver with the night stick. Driver get several smacks before yelling at the cop We weren’t doing anything, why are you hitting me with your stick. Cop tells him,”The next time you get pulled over in South Carolina you have your window down and your driver’s license out before the cop gets to your window. Understand?”
Cop goes around to the passenger side. Tap Tap Tap on the window with the night stick. Passenger just as arrogantly hits his button and the window slides down. Cop start smacking him with the stick. Passenger starts yelling “Police brutality, I wasn’t even driving. Why are you hitting me?”Cop calmly responds, “I’m making your wish come true?”
“Wish, what wish?”
Cop says “I know you get 5 miles down the road you are going to turn to your buddy over there and tell him you wished I had tried hitting you with my night stick”
Cop goes around to the passenger side. Tap Tap Tap on the window with the night stick. Passenger just as arrogantly hits his button and the window slides down. Cop start smacking him with the stick. Passenger starts yelling “Police brutality, I wasn’t even driving. Why are you hitting me?”Cop calmly responds, “I’m making your wish come true?”
“Wish, what wish?”
Cop says “I know you get 5 miles down the road you are going to turn to your buddy over there and tell him you wished I had tried hitting you with my night stick”
Last edited by dshamrick; 07-12-2018 at 09:37 AM.
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What? Gas in your brown eye wasn't enough for you?
Bet your wife is real happy about this.
Well, wishing you a speedy and full recovery.
Last edited by wayback; 07-12-2018 at 09:02 AM.
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Which brings up a ponderment:
If *** and gas sound the same why isn't it spelled gass? Or, maybe *** should be spelled as (as could be spelled az, like it sounds) so it matches gas.
Ya, I know, I have too much time on my hands. (Hey, it's better than shammy's joke! )
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Here, here, hamsters...the thought for the day:
There's no time like the present. But a couple of minutes ago bore a striking similarity.
Go forth, hamsters, and the spread the good news...about Grand Sports!
There's no time like the present. But a couple of minutes ago bore a striking similarity.
Go forth, hamsters, and the spread the good news...about Grand Sports!
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Question...I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims who have to be identified by their dental records. If they don't know who YOU are, how do the know who your dentist is???
Last edited by ruxvette; 07-12-2018 at 10:05 AM.