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Fire, Allah Akbar, Yee-haw, Kill Whitey, and a screaming baby

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Fire, Allah Akbar, Yee-haw, Kill Whitey, and a screaming baby

 
Old 01-18-2011, 10:27 PM
  #41  
JJ Deuce
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"I gotta keep my breathing machine close by."
and
"I brought my own seatbelt extender"

-same guy, on a transatlantic flight.
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Old 01-18-2011, 10:53 PM
  #42  
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[Captain] "Uh-oh..."
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Old 01-18-2011, 11:15 PM
  #43  
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[Captain] "I just want everyone to know, my wife left me today...."
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Old 01-19-2011, 12:22 AM
  #44  
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"bomb!"
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Old 01-19-2011, 05:16 AM
  #45  
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Originally Posted by BSeery View Post
"Where is the air sick bag??!!??"

"I can't find the air sick bag !!"

"Can someone hand me an air----BLLLLLAAAAAAGHHHHH ------- BLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAGH -- cough cough, spit, spit -- BLLLAAAGH!"
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Old 01-19-2011, 06:28 AM
  #46  
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A loud, uninhibited, belicose fart.
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Old 01-19-2011, 07:26 AM
  #47  
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Passenger on plane: Hey, if one of these engines fail, how far will the other one take us?

Ron White: All the way to the scene of the crash!

U.M.
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Old 01-19-2011, 07:34 AM
  #48  
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"Deodorant? I never use it!"
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Old 01-19-2011, 08:02 AM
  #49  
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Originally Posted by _Nomad_ View Post
True Ballah's fly first class...or...have their own plane.
True travelers know that First Class is the same s**t as in the back, just with 2 less seats per aisle.

Everything I have mentioned above has also, and frequently, happened in first class.
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Old 01-19-2011, 08:09 AM
  #50  
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Originally Posted by BSeery
"Where is the air sick bag??!!??"

"I can't find the air sick bag !!"

"Can someone hand me an air----BLLLLLAAAAAAGHHHHH ------- BLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAGH -- cough cough, spit, spit -- BLLLAAAGH!"
Originally Posted by joecaver View Post
I had a co-worker that got seated in the very last row of a plane, and I was about 5-7 rows further up. He had to smell the toilet, and get everyones *** bumping into him as they walked to and from the toilet.

Then --- right before landing --- I hear that nasty wet hacking and heaving. Someone "back there" must have puked enough to fill a 5 gallon bucket. I could smell it where I was sitting.

So, after we land and take forever to get off the plane I am waiting for my co-worker to come off the plane.

And up the jet way he comes, partially covered in puke. The person next to him was the vomit producer and it went everywhere. Everyone back there had to sit and wait covered in someone else's second hand lunch.
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Old 01-19-2011, 01:00 PM
  #51  
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Originally Posted by _Nomad_ View Post
True Ballah's fly first class...or...have their own plane.
True. I fly to Phoenix a lot and Southwest only has cattle cart class.
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Old 01-19-2011, 01:05 PM
  #52  
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Originally Posted by Pigface1 View Post
True. I fly to Phoenix a lot and Southwest only has cattle cart class.
Ever fly Allegiant?
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Old 01-19-2011, 01:14 PM
  #53  
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Originally Posted by hendrix68 View Post
Ever fly Allegiant?
Never heard of it.
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Old 01-19-2011, 01:16 PM
  #54  
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Originally Posted by Pigface1 View Post
Never heard of it.
Wow, that really kills my confidence in them.
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Old 01-19-2011, 02:18 PM
  #55  
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Originally Posted by hendrix68 View Post
Wow, that really kills my confidence in them.
Where is their hub, S. Dakota?
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Old 01-19-2011, 04:55 PM
  #56  
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Originally Posted by BSeery View Post
True travelers know that First Class is the same s**t as in the back, just with 2 less seats per aisle.

Everything I have mentioned above has also, and frequently, happened in first class.
Yeah but the seats are wider and more space between rows. You get to wipe yourself down with a bacteria laden hot towel before you consume plane food, the people are weirder (I think), and there's an open bar....

Worth the extra 1000 bucks? No.
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Old 01-19-2011, 05:44 PM
  #57  
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Originally Posted by BSeery View Post
True travelers know that First Class is the same s**t as in the back, just with 2 less seats per aisle.

Everything I have mentioned above has also, and frequently, happened in first class.
It's far less crowded and you're far less likely to have a screaming kid anywhere around you. That's priceless.
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Old 01-19-2011, 10:18 PM
  #58  
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Originally Posted by Truck Guy View Post
Where's GTrain, I'm sure he'll be able to liven up this thread
I honestly can't make this crap up.....

Last week on a flight back from Europe on a 777 window side, this couple is two rows up.....pretty ugly, 50-ish freaks (the woman has one arm, short sleeve shirt, stump out for the world to see..) that look like a barber and a comb hasn't found their heads in years.....

So the husband gets up.........now get this..........the wife lays down on the two seats, puts her legs up on on the side wall of the aircraft so her hoof-feet are about face level if you are walking down the aisle....WTF....who does this *hit...
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Old 01-20-2011, 09:09 AM
  #59  
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Originally Posted by Pigface1 View Post
Where is their hub, S. Dakota?
No idea. They fly direct flights from where I live to Vegas. That's how I've built my relationship with them.
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Old 01-20-2011, 12:41 PM
  #60  
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Originally Posted by GTrain View Post
I honestly can't make this crap up.....

Last week on a flight back from Europe on a 777 window side, this couple is two rows up.....pretty ugly, 50-ish freaks (the woman has one arm, short sleeve shirt, stump out for the world to see..) that look like a barber and a comb hasn't found their heads in years.....

So the husband gets up.........now get this..........the wife lays down on the two seats, puts her legs up on on the side wall of the aircraft so her hoof-feet are about face level if you are walking down the aisle....WTF....who does this *hit...
80% of the people in the world are just idiots!

I try to only hang with the other 20%, but on a plane we have no choice

I'll be flying more this year than the last two, so I'm getting psyched up to handle the numbskulls I'll run into on each and every flight.
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