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Don't know what to do anymore.

Old 05-15-2012, 03:22 PM
The JOe
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St. Jude Donor '10-'12
Default Don't know what to do anymore.

physically im no longer able to be active. Im lucky to feel good enough to get the mail. At least once a month i get more bad news.

blowing my life's savings on Doctor appointments and now im told my gallbladder is only working at 1% and that will get to alter my life even more.

as if im not already losing my short term memory, physical pain is at an all time high, emotionally im at the end of my rope... Just for fun somehow i cracked a molar eating a granola bar and i take good care of my teeth, so thats more pain just THROBBING reminding me how effed up my physical being is. . It was one thing losing the physical battle so long as i had my brain, but now my memories are all foggy and I can't remember what day it is anymore.

sorry to vent. I literally no longer have physical friends and i can't bottle it up anymore and i'll be damned if im going to talk to a shrink again. Im already on high dose of anti depressants.

Today i get to pay another $515 for another MRI. This will tell my Dr if the medications im on have shrunk or maintained my newest brain tumor. How much do you want to bet it grew? WHY? because in the last 3 years i have not received 1 bit of positive medical news.

Just called my Pain Management dr to refill a prescription and give them the 48 required hour notice to be told that "You missed your last appointment, we can not refill your Rx until you are seen" Turns out i can't get in until next Wednesday. That leaves me sat/sun/mon/tue/wed until next available appointment so now i get to go through withdrawals on top of it all. Reason i missed appointment and let them know ahead of appointment was due to being in the hospital. I guess that doesn't matter. He gets to play god i guess. I didn't know your Dr could deny you a medication you have been on for several years without any problems. Must be nice to be physically healthy.

I want it to end. I have given it all i have and am spread too thin now. I can't even get one of my doctors to lie to me that i should be feeling better soon.

Too all you idiots that say in every other depression thread or where someone commits suicide "Pull yourself up from your bootstrap and get on with it" or "Man up and get over it". I pray you don't have to deal with real depression that never goes away.

time to take a sleeping pill and make the day fade away. sorry but i have never been this low in my life and had to vent. I couldn't keep anymore in my head without doing something stupid i fear.

Suddenly I envy the plot to "God Bless America" (youtube it, NSFW)
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:23 PM
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what can we do to help ?
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:26 PM
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gall bladders are overrated
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:30 PM
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St. Jude Donor '06

Please try to find something to be positive about, your family and friends still love you and I am sure you have many friends here on the forum. Life has its ups and downs and it sure sounds like you need an up side. I will pray for you to see life in a better light. Hang in there it will get better
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:30 PM
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Man, I am very sorry to hear about your condition.

I hope and pray you get some much needed relief!
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:32 PM
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St. Jude Donor '09-'10, '14, '16-'17

Originally Posted by thetaxman View Post

what can we do to help ?
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:37 PM
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So sorry you're going through this.
I hope you feel better, and things start to look up for you soon.

Can you call the Doc office back, and see if they can give you some samples to get you by until the appointment?
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:39 PM
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Just hang in there buddy and let us help you!
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:47 PM
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I'll chip in to buy UD a plane ticket to come out and comfort you, anybody else?

(keep fightin)
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Hardluck View Post

Just hang in there buddy and let us help you!
All I can offer is my friendship. PM me if you want to talk.
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:51 PM
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St. Jude Donor '10-'11-'12-'13-'14-'15-'16-'17

TB - hang in there dude... would some nice piece of electronic gear cheer you up? lemme know if u need something... As far as the prescription, ask to speak to the doctor on the phone. Bypass the secretary/nurse. More than likely, he will help you.
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:59 PM
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Let us know if we can do something!
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Old 05-15-2012, 04:00 PM
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St. Jude Donor '08

Prayer sent.
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Old 05-15-2012, 04:06 PM
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Life can be a difficult challange when ones heath fails. Nobody will truly understand the pain and suffering that you are living everyday. I hope that you have friends and family nearby. Do not hesitate to ask for help.

In your area there are organizations that can visit you and help in anyway possible, there are many strangers that would like to help, seek them out.

For all who are sick or suffering, that God may give them courgae and consolation.

Lord, hear us.

and when more than one offers a prayer...Let us reflect on the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, recalling his unity and presence among us: "Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them".

Thank-you for the very honest post.
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Old 05-15-2012, 04:12 PM
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St. Jude Donor '08-'09-'10-'11-'12-'13x3- '14-'15-'16-'17-'18-'19


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Old 05-15-2012, 04:13 PM
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St. Jude Donor '14,'18

Hey Bulldog - I'm back from my business travels (although I'm gone again next week) and I still owe you lunch if you're up to it! Drop me a PM and we'll make it happen!
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Old 05-15-2012, 04:19 PM
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Can't you hit the ER for some pain meds?
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Old 05-15-2012, 04:22 PM
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Originally Posted by GTrain View Post
Can't you hit the ER for some pain meds?
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Old 05-15-2012, 04:26 PM
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St. Jude Donor '05-'06-'07-'08-'09-'10-'11-'12-'13-'14-'15-'16-'17-'18


get well soon, i will pray that you get some good news.
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Old 05-15-2012, 04:32 PM
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Originally Posted by sla07 View Post
gall bladders are overrated
Sure are - had mine out 10 years ago
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