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Vets and Military: The give each other a hard time thread

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Vets and Military: The give each other a hard time thread

 
Old 08-30-2018, 09:42 AM
  #101  
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Old 08-30-2018, 09:50 AM
  #102  
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Old 08-30-2018, 09:52 AM
  #103  
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Old 08-30-2018, 09:59 AM
  #104  
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Originally Posted by PLRX View Post
No ****. Todd (when he was MAJ Z06 here on the forum) send me a PowerPoint Ranger Tab. This pic is soooo damn true. I remember being told in a meeting one day, "LT, I need you to spice these slides up and make them pretty. Add in some pics and animations."

"Roger that, sir." I was never told to do that again. He never said which pictures and there were a bunch of cats from IcanHasCheeseburger. The MAJ I worked for knew what I was up to and could barely contain his laughter at the meeting.
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Old 08-30-2018, 10:04 AM
  #105  
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Originally Posted by Elba Mike View Post
Numerous Veterans here in the Sheriff's Office, and we constantly dog each other out in the most foul, vicious, and personal ways. Good times, until a civilian opens their mouth, then the forces unite and smack the infidel down. (Will explain the multi syllable words to Marines and Army upon request)
The army has a two syllable phrase just suitable for a response to you: **** YOU

The full time guy who works for me is a retired Navy Senior Chief. my two student techs are veterans (one Army and one Chair Force). Man, we rag on each other all the time and it's a good thing my shop is hidden in the back of the building because the language and jokes can be horrible at times. My boss walked into the office during my delivery of a particularly well placed navy joke and about lost his ****. He's a retired Navy Chief. Senior looked at him and said, "Really? Shake the sand out off your panties."

It's a given just to leave us alone and tell us what we need to do and we'll make it happen.

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Old 08-30-2018, 10:23 AM
  #106  
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"All I have to do is spare this frame and I'll score an EXCELLENT on my fitness test!!!"
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Old 08-30-2018, 10:27 AM
  #107  
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Damn, there really are some great ones in here!
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Old 08-30-2018, 10:27 AM
  #108  
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Old 08-30-2018, 10:33 AM
  #109  
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Originally Posted by fcdriver417 View Post
Quit yer bitchin, and get back in the Kitchen!!!
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Old 08-30-2018, 11:03 AM
  #110  
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Originally Posted by DJ_Critterus View Post
The army has a two syllable phrase just suitable for a response to you: **** YOU

The full time guy who works for me is a retired Navy Senior Chief. my two student techs are veterans (one Army and one Chair Force). Man, we rag on each other all the time and it's a good thing my shop is hidden in the back of the building because the language and jokes can be horrible at times. My boss walked into the office during my delivery of a particularly well placed navy joke and about lost his ****. He's a retired Navy Chief. Senior looked at him and said, "Really? Shake the sand out off your panties."

It's a given just to leave us alone and tell us what we need to do and we'll make it happen.

True story: I was sleeping soundly in my single room billet at Pope AFB, when what do I hear? A bunch of damn grunts screaming about some stupid **** while they were running past. All this at the ungodly hour of 0730! No wonder they called it No Hope Pope.
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Old 08-30-2018, 11:14 AM
  #111  
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Originally Posted by Elba Mike View Post
True story: I was sleeping soundly in my single room billet at Pope AFB, when what do I hear? A bunch of damn grunts screaming about some stupid **** while they were running past. All this at the ungodly hour of 0730! No wonder they called it No Hope Pope.
******* POGs...
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Old 08-30-2018, 11:15 AM
  #112  
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Just says it all:


Last edited by 1KULC7; 08-30-2018 at 11:18 AM.
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Old 08-30-2018, 11:17 AM
  #113  
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Originally Posted by fcdriver417 View Post
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Old 08-30-2018, 11:19 AM
  #114  
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Originally Posted by Z06PSI View Post

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Old 08-30-2018, 11:26 AM
  #115  
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A sailor and a jarhead are in the head finishing up their business. The jarhead walks over to the sink to wash up as the sailor finishes up and starts to leave without washing up. The jarhead says to the sailor "Hey squid, in the Marine corps they teach us to wash our hands after urinating" The squid replies "Well jarhead, in the Navy they teach us not to **** on our hands"
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Old 08-30-2018, 11:30 AM
  #116  
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Originally Posted by Elba Mike View Post
True story: I was sleeping soundly in my single room billet at Pope AFB, when what do I hear? A bunch of damn grunts screaming about some stupid **** while they were running past. All this at the ungodly hour of 0730! No wonder they called it No Hope Pope.
Originally Posted by sublime1996525 View Post
******* POGs...
Stories like this are supposed to start off with "No ****. There I was....."

I woke up one year unexpectedly after i had pinned my railroad tracks and some ******* was playing a horn at full volume before the sun even came up. WTF is up with that?

This is why I am against waking up before the crack of noon.

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Old 08-30-2018, 11:30 AM
  #117  
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Originally Posted by kupitz View Post
A sailor and a jarhead are in the head finishing up their business. The jarhead walks over to the sink to wash up as the sailor finishes up and starts to leave without washing up. The jarhead says to the sailor "Hey squid, in the Marine corps they teach us to wash our hands after urinating" The squid replies "Well jarhead, in the Navy they teach us not to **** on our hands"
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Old 08-30-2018, 11:31 AM
  #118  
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Originally Posted by Elba Mike View Post
A Navy troop walks into a tent and sees a scorpion. He grabs a stick and gets it out of his tent.

An Army troop guy walks into a tent and sees a scorpion and crushes it under his boot.

A Marine walks into a tent, sees a scorpion, picks it up, snaps off the stinger and eats the scorpion.

An Air Force guy walks into a tent, calls the front desk and asks, "Who put a tent in my hotel room"?
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Old 08-30-2018, 11:34 AM
  #119  
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A marine general, an army general, and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, "Alright, I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!" The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?" The general says, "See that man over there? Kill him!" Without hesitating, the private kills the man. The general says, "See? That man has *****!"
The marine general says, "That's nothing. Private, get over here!" The marine private reports, "Yes, sir?". The marine general says, "See that man over there? Kill him and then kill yourself." Without blinking, the marine private pulls out his M-16 and blows away the guy, then turns the rifle on himself and unloads several rounds. The marine general says, "See? Now that man has *****!"
The admiral says, "That's nothing." He calls to a seaman high up on a tower, "Hey, seaman, jump off that tower!" The seaman answers, "Excuse me, sir?" The admiral repeats, "JUMP OFF THAT TOWER!" The seaman replies, "**** you, sir!" The admiral says, "See? That man has ***** and he's got brains too!"
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Old 08-30-2018, 11:37 AM
  #120  
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An Army General, Marine General, Airforce General, and Navy Admiral are all arguing over which branch is the most courageous. So they decide to do a test.

The airforce General takes them all to his base, goes to a random barracks room, tells the airman to throw his XBOX out of the window in the middle of a game. He did and the General said, "now that's courage."

The admiral says he can do better. They go to the docks and there's a sailor way up top in the Crow's Nest. He yells out, "Sailor, get down here now. Jump into the water from there." The sailor did and the Admiral says, "Now that's courage."

The Marine general calls them pussies and says watch this. They pull up to the main gate off the marine base and he tells the sentry to pull his side arm and shoot the marine next to him. As ordered, the marine did just that. "Now that is true courage."

The Army general said, "Watch this." He takes them to a random battalion getting ready for a Command and Staff meeting. There's an enlisted man working on some PowerPoint slides and the General says, "Sargent, i need you to add in a few more slides with pictures, animation, and some information i'm about to give you." The Sargeant looks at him and says, "**** you, General. Make the ******* lieutenant do it." The General looks at everyone and says, "Now that's true courage."
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