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[Jole] Lone Ranger and Tonto

 
Old 07-11-2019, 02:52 PM
  #1  
snide
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Default [Jole] Lone Ranger and Tonto

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camping in the wilderness. After they got their tent set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?”

The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars”.

“What that tell you?” asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, “Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time-wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Tonto?”

“You dumber than buffalo....it mean someone stole tent!”

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Old 07-11-2019, 06:44 PM
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Murray Anderson
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Where’s the Friday Jole dude to see how it’s done.
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Old 07-11-2019, 07:16 PM
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Thought it was going to be the jole where the lone ranger gets bit on the dick by rattle snake
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Old 07-11-2019, 08:00 PM
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Old 07-11-2019, 08:23 PM
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Old 07-11-2019, 08:32 PM
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No cymbals or bass drum used in this presentation.
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Old 07-11-2019, 08:55 PM
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Man...………...I was gone'a tell the bit on the dick joke.

Sombody else tell it..

Tell it right. It's all about the delivery...…...
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:25 PM
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto were being pursued by 300 angry Apaches. They headed east but saw a couple hundred Cheyennes in war paint waiting. They angled south but a huge dust cloud indicated the Comanches had that direction blocked. Turning west, their hopes were dashed when they saw hundreds of hostile Sioux warriors.

The Lone Ranger reigned in Silver, shook his head, and said "I'm afraid we're done for this time, Tonto!"

Tonto looked over and asked "What you mean "we", paleface?"
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:31 PM
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Cute....
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:53 PM
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding along. Tonto jumps off his horse and puts his ear to the ground. He then looks up at the Lone Ranger and says “buffalo come” The Lone Ranger is amazed and asks Tonto “how can you tell?” Tonto replies “ear sticky”
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Old 07-11-2019, 11:25 PM
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The Lone Ranger rides up and sees Tonto with his his ear to the ground. The Lone Ranger jumps down from his horse and asks Tonto what he's doing. Tonto says, "...covered wagon...family...mother...father...two daughters...four horses, one black, three brown...cow tied to back of wagon...". The Lone Ranger says, "wow, you can tell all that just from putting your ear to the wagon track..?"

Tonto says, " ...no...I was taking a nap...all run over me two hours ago...".
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Old 07-11-2019, 11:33 PM
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Funny
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:17 AM
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:20 AM
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Indians caught the Lone Ranger and tied him up to a pole and told him, "When sun overhead tomorrow, we burn you at stake", then the Indians went to their tents. The Lone Ranger whispered something in Tonto's ear, Tonto nodded and got on his horse and left. The next morning Tonto came riding up to the Lone Ranger with a beautiful naked woman riding on the back of his horse. The Lone Ranger then said to Tonto, "I said posse".
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:36 AM
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Originally Posted by jfb View Post
Indians caught the Lone Ranger and tied him up to a pole and told him, "When sun overhead tomorrow, we burn you at stake", then the Indians went to their tents. The Lone Ranger whispered something in Tonto's ear, Tonto nodded and got on his horse and left. The next morning Tonto came riding up to the Lone Ranger with a beautiful naked woman riding on the back of his horse. The Lone Ranger then said to Tonto, "I said posse".

took my old brain a minute
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:53 AM
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OK, some good ones showed up.
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Old 07-12-2019, 08:44 AM
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Those were good. I had forgotten them 65 years ago.
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Old 07-12-2019, 10:10 AM
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fair
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Old 07-12-2019, 10:35 AM
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Q: Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage?
A: To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump...
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Old 07-12-2019, 11:16 AM
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Did you hear about the hamburger patty that told jokes?
















He was on a roll.
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