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Failure to launch: Why so many American millennials feel adulthood is a lie

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Failure to launch: Why so many American millennials feel adulthood is a lie

 
Old 02-23-2019, 11:56 AM
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BenThere
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Default Failure to launch: Why so many American millennials feel adulthood is a lie

I stumbled on this section of MSNBC called "Think" (yeah, the quote marks don't just mean that it's a quote). Yeah, yeah, I know, it's MSNBC, but the interesting thing about it is this is reality for them. I was especially taken by the victimhood , it's someone else's fault, excuse/theme.

Take a look, keeping in mind that you or I may or may not agree with it, but most millennials (at least that I know anecdotally) do. "It's not our fault, you f'd us up, you're still f'king with us, so I'm just going to sit here and fell bad......" OK there is some validity to the issues around the 2008 financial crisis, but why do any of the "issues" become an excuse for refusal to take any responsibility?

I did the bolding......

Catherine Baab-Muguira Failure to launch: Why so many American millennials feel adulthood is a lie

Many younger Americans feel like the economic and emotional benefits promised by adulthood are overrated.
Those were the days.Dan Kitwood / Getty Images file

July 8, 2018, 1:50 AM MST / Updated July 8, 2018, 6:05 AM MSTBy Catherine Baab-MuguiraEarlier this spring, Mark and Christina Rotondo went to court in upstate New York to attempt to forcibly evict their 30-year-old son Michael. It’s an absurd example in most respects, but there’s something about the story that resonates, however metaphorically, for millennials in America. We may not all be fighting tooth and nail to stay in our parents’ homes against their will, but we’ve failed to launch in ways both economic and emotional — verging, I’d argue, on the metaphysical.

Case in point, a few months ago, I was visiting Los Angeles and met an old college friend for dinner in Silver Lake. He and I hadn’t seen each other since 2006, when we were both 24 years old. Yet somehow almost nothing had changed. Neither of us have kids yet. Neither of us are quite where we imagined we’d be, professionally, at 36. We’re both still hustling for cash and projects – still waiting to “arrive,” whatever that means.
“I swear I don’t even feel like an adult,” he confessed. “Like, I don’t think of myself as one of the grownups.”

“Me either,” I confessed right back. “My mom had five kids by the time she was my age. My dad was starting his second career. And I’m still punching in my parents’ landline at CVS to get the discount.”
That makes us a vanguard of sorts — the first millennials to peek over the hill and get a view of what comes next. But what if, when it comes to adulthood, there’s no there there?
Born in the early 1980s, my friend and I are on the oldest end of the millennial generation, roughly defined as those born between 1980 and 2000. That makes us a vanguard of sorts — the first millennials to peek over the hill and get a view of what comes next. But what if, when it comes to adulthood, there’s no there there? It can’t just be the two of us who in some sense are still stuck in some hazy pre-adulthood limbo — my sense is many millennials feel as if adulthood is somehow eluding us, as if we’re adrift somewhere between adolescence and adulthood. As Michael Hobbes wrote for HuffPost's Highline last December: “I am 35 years old — the oldest millennial, the first millennial — and for a decade now, I’ve been waiting for adulthood to kick in.” Ditto.

Compared to the boomers, it does seem like many millennials are moving in slow motion. We’re marrying later than our parents. We’re half as likely to own homes as young adults were in 1975. But we haven’t just fallen behind the preceding generation. According to The Economist, “Americans currently aged between 30 and 39 years of age are calculated to have amassed 46% less wealth on average in 2017 than the equivalent cohort had gathered in 2007."All this has led to so many think pieces and news stories that the internet is now rife with lists of all the things millennials are supposed to have failed, denied, ruined and destroyed. Not just marriage, home ownership and other conventional markers of adulthood, but also yogurt, beer, napkins and chain restaurants. It’s enough to make you wonder if millennials aren’t also destroying adulthood itself, calling BS on the whole enterprise.

It’s about the relentless economics in which we came of age and the lasting skepticism those economics have, I believe, instilled in us. Take our $1 trillion-plus in student loan debt. No one told us that our education would be part of a massive cash grab orchestrated by high education fat cats. Once this becomes clear, however, you start to question other things as well. It’s not a coincidence that the first generation to carry so much debt so young is the one that occupied Wall Street (as well as a few old hippies, it must be said).

As Malcolm Harris pointed out in his 2017 book “Kids These Days,”the best millennial slogan is the one that animated those protests: “Everything is fucked up and bullshit.” It sounds juvenile, even puerile, until you consider how true it can be. To my ear at least, it’s the cri de couer of the less deceived — less a complaint than an observation.

It’s also a refrain that makes sense. Just as millennials were supposed to be entering the workforce, we were hit with the biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression. We were sold on the idea that getting a so-called good education would set us up for success in the working world. We could have everything our parents had, if we only followed their example and pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps. They were giving us the map to financial freedom, and most of us listened. (Of course, not all millennials have or had access to loans and college education.)
We were sold on the idea that getting a good education would set us up for success in the working world. We could have everything our parents had, if we only followed their example and pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps.
It might have worked, too, if the price of that education didn’t rise to become completely unaffordable at the same time unemployment doubled from five percent to 10 percent. But our student loans didn’t go away just because the job market did; instead of being given the roadmap to financial freedom, we were given a map that drove us straight into a trap.


While our income potential declined, basic living expenses didn’t, and it set our generationback years from where we “should have been.” From where we were told we would have been.

If this is the reality of adulthood, if this is where following the advice of parents, teachers and the government got us, why wouldn’t we be cynical about all of its markers and accessories? The expectations gap between the fantasy progression of going to school then getting a well paying job then building our own nest eggs, and the reality of going to school, waiting years for a well paying job (for those of us lucky to get one at all) and building a nest egg for our creditors is simply too great to ignore.Besides, have you seen what’s passing for a grownup these days? Apparently believing and proliferating insane conspiracy theories or bullying coworkers on social media is par for the professional course. And the U.S. president is only the most prominent example. Before she was unceremoniously dumped by ABC, Roseanne Barr had spent years using social media as a platform for a slew of bigoted comments and ideas it would be generous to call far-fetched. Meanwhile, recently fired EPA administrator Scott Pruitt amassed a staggering list of alleged ethical violations while still enjoying praise from his boss for doing a “fantastic job.” And don’t get me started on Gen X-er Kanye West — because where to even begin?
Though Pew Research has no numbers on this, my sense is that grownups’ numbers are in steep decline. Fewer people than ever seem capable of discerning between fantasy and reality, which is something we generally rely on adults to do. “By my reckoning, the solidly reality-based are a minority, maybe a third of us but almost certainly fewer than half,” wrote Kurt Anderson in The Atlantic last year.
We’re living in an off-the-map world. Don’t let people convince you otherwise. I trust no one who claims to have it all figured out. I certainly don’t — it’s part of why I feel like I’m somehow not an adult, still, at 36. Instead of a magic moment of arrival, the last few years have resulted in a deepening sense of the confusion and uncertainty. There are adult parts of my life, of course. I’ve been married for a dozen years, been at the same job for eight years — I send Christmas cards. But there’s an uncertainty I can’t shake, and am frankly not sure I ever will, or that my generation ever will. The world is just too weird now.

“When do you think you’ll feel like an adult?” I asked my friend.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe when I’m 46, another ten years from now?”

It was an arbitrary number, an open question. Because that was all it could be.
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinio...6?icid=related
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Old 02-23-2019, 12:05 PM
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I couldn't finish it due to the overwhelming self-pity. Destined for mediocrity, so long as someone can afford it for them.
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Old 02-23-2019, 12:12 PM
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Progressives/Socialists/Democrats/Marxists/Communists/Far Left Radicals (but I repeat myself) have been VERY successful in their takeover of the educational system and the subsequent dumbing down/indoctrination of at least 2 generations
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Old 02-23-2019, 12:13 PM
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hmmm....sounds unhappy, seems some Millennials may have to work harder to achieve a feeling of responsibility and adulthood?
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Old 02-23-2019, 03:04 PM
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On the one hand, education has "changed" in the last 70 years or so. There are a lot more choices of curriculum out there, like "Urban Rhythms" and "Gender Studies", that lead to student debt with no real job prospects.

I run into a lot of young people who turn their nose up at the local college willing to give a huge scholarship, because they want the "experience" of going to the fashionable 4 year private university. I have no data but I wonder if the incidence of that sort of thing has been on the rise.

I also run into a lot of young people who don't want to "get a job" at some boring place like Target or ShopRite, while they get their first 2 years of college under their belts for next to nothing. I know of one 21 year old right now who is clearly very smart, but spends his days on the couch in his parent's house not working or going to school.

I'm guessing the author of the article above fits one of the categories I described here.

I also know dozens, and maybe now hundreds, of former members of the robotics club I mentor who went to good technical schools, many of them with strong co-op programs, who are out there in the work force making great money and loving what they do. MANY of the less economically advantaged ones did a year or two at community college. Somehow, with some smarts and a willingness to "do what it takes" rather than chasing some sort of "experience", they navigated the waters to productive adulthood just fine by the time they were 21-24 years old.

Every generation has its "losers" who never really figured out how to get into the good part of the economy. FWIW: It took me until I was 25 years old to finally land that good engineering job that put me on the road to a comfortable, independent lifestyle. I don't know if today's youth has a higher percentage of them or not, but the ones they have sure seem to get their gripes more widely heard because of the internet.
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Old 02-23-2019, 03:10 PM
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Originally Posted by KenHorse View Post
Progressives/Socialists/Democrats/Marxists/Communists/Far Left Radicals (but I repeat myself) have been VERY successful in their takeover of the educational system and the subsequent dumbing down/indoctrination of at least 2 generations
This

When liberals read this they think “ mission accomplished “.
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Old 02-23-2019, 03:52 PM
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Maybe he and his friend don't feel like grown ups because they never had to ...grow up.
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Old 02-23-2019, 04:02 PM
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Lost me about 2 paragraphs in...

They need to grow up and take responsibility for their actions.

Possible problems not in any order:
1. entitlement
2. poor parenting
3. too much technology - no self-thought
4. education - what to 70% or your failed and have to repeat the class.
5. it's not my fault
6. it should be free (socialism?)
7. work 8 hrs?.. what, come in late, long lunch & go home early plus $$ pay

Last edited by oemtech; 02-23-2019 at 04:04 PM.
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Old 02-23-2019, 04:05 PM
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Peter Pan never grew up either. So instead of getting hot *** Wendy, he was stuck with that fake tinkerbell loser.

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Old 02-23-2019, 04:14 PM
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Originally Posted by glbeauchamp View Post
Maybe he and his friend don't feel like grown ups because they never had to ...grow up.
It all starts with "participation trophies" (i.e. no winners or losers) and teachers not being allowed to fail students because it might hurt their self-esteem. They never learn humility as winners or losers and so they don't know how to deal with REAL life, its potential setbacks and the perseverance necessary to overcome adversity.

My son grew up with three answers..."Yes Sir, No Sir or No Excuse Sir" and he is a successful, self-reliant AGR member in the Colorado Air Guard.

Millenials would do well to heed these words:



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Old 02-23-2019, 04:17 PM
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Pretty easy to be arrogant and judge how badly society is treating you when Mom and Dad give you 3 meals a day and a place to sleep and all the time you want playing Grand Theft Auto. Get kicked out of the house on your *** and see how that all works.
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Old 02-23-2019, 05:02 PM
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Boo ******* hoo. Bet that little punk would grow up and be responsible if mommy and daddy didn’t pay his bills.
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Old 02-23-2019, 05:17 PM
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why not opt for vocational skills - tech schools and the like. and especially if you're willing to move....6 figure incomes aren't uncommon.

the world of college/ white collar-ism will soon coming to a screeching halt......see your friendly IA specialist.
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Old 02-23-2019, 07:59 PM
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The whine about education and "education debt" is especially interesting to me:

It’s also a refrain that makes sense. Just as millennials were supposed to be entering the workforce, we were hit with the biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression. We were sold on the idea that getting a so-called good education would set us up for success in the working world. We could have everything our parents had, if we only followed their example and pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps. They were giving us the map to financial freedom, and most of us listened. (Of course, not all millennials have or had access to loans and college education.)
We were sold on the idea that getting a good education would set us up for success in the working world. We could have everything our parents had, if we only followed their example and pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps.
It might have worked, too, if the price of that education didn’t rise to become completely unaffordable at the same time unemployment doubled from five percent to 10 percent. But our student loans didn’t go away just because the job market did; instead of being given the roadmap to financial freedom, we were given a map that drove us straight into a trap.
Yes, absolutely, getting a good education will set you up for success in the working world. The operative words are "good" education and "working world". Doing some minimal research on what skills are required by employers in the "working world" and getting an education that prepares you with those skills is a prerequisite for preparing for success. Degrees in the likes of "Russian Language" or "Liberal Arts and Sciences" (there's a Liberal "Science"?), or "Philosophy" even Biology aren't going to get you any where near as far as STEM, or a good trade in the "working world" unless you are prepared to REALLYwork for it; to really work HARD to find you niche in those fields, nobody is going to give you a six-figure, 8 hour job just because you have some trendy degree, YOU have to find your opportunity and YOU have to prove you're the right person for the job among all the others who are trying to get it. Just because you made a bad choice in what degree you pursued, don't blame "high education fat cats" for your **** poor choice(s) and resultant mega-dept. That was YOUR decision; YOU have to make it work or find something else. Follow our example and pull your *** up by your fashionable, trendy bootstraps and quit your bitching and blaming. The roadmap was there, YOU took the detour.
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Old 02-23-2019, 08:03 PM
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Boo F'ing Hoo, to stupid to know where loans come from or the fact that they have no clue what a loan is.
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Old 02-23-2019, 10:31 PM
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I can relate. Didn't really feel grown up until I had a kid at 40. No blame, no money issues or anything, saved for retirement and all.

Ir just feels so different that what previous generations experienced.

Should also add that I flat preferred feeling like a kid as I still felt like anything was possible.

As I wrap up yet another 12 hour work Saturday (business owner), I can't help but wonder 'is this it?' Cause I don't care nearly as much about the cash as I thought I did. My wife just walked away 2 weeks ago from her $98k professional job for the same reasons as we contemplate 'the meaning of this grown up existence'. Truly I just want to go live in a camper in the desert and ride my bike, that would make me the happiest. But I consider providing well for my family now and in the future my #1 priority, so I don't.

Millennials, enjoy that feeling while you can.
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Old 02-23-2019, 10:43 PM
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Originally Posted by KenHorse View Post
Progressives/Socialists/Democrats/Marxists/Communists/Far Left Radicals (but I repeat myself) have been VERY successful in their takeover of the educational system and the subsequent dumbing down/indoctrination of at least 2 generations
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Old 02-23-2019, 10:47 PM
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And I would answer the original POST (not the post-er!) with this. The perspective itself needs to be addressed, & Mike Rowe does just this here. There are ALL KINDS of jobs out there, & any young person with a hardcore work ethic can kick-*** in today's world. Problem is, the hard labor work ethic in this country among young people is largely gone - maybe some farm kids in rural areas still have it, but I'm not seeing it in my area. Enjoy:

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Old 02-23-2019, 10:49 PM
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No surprise that libbies don't feel "grown up" as they never have.

I may be "lucky" to have grown up with "nothing", working my *** off for family and retirement and now lazing back with another "new" (to me) Corvette.
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Old 02-23-2019, 10:52 PM
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These people have no conception of adulthood at all.

Adulthood is measured by the responsibilities one successfully takes on in their life...especially responsibilities towards others. And how much they've struggled and sacrificed to achieve what they've attained.

WTF do they expect, a trophy for getting out of bed in the morning?
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