Oil Change for Dummies (w/ pics because dummies need pics)
 

OK - I started this thread with me in mind, because I couldv'e used it. This was the first time I've ever changed oil, and I had to piece together the info from different threads. I hope this helps my fellow dummies:)

1) Buy 8 quarts of good oil:rofl: (I kill myself with this stuff)

2) Use Professor Moriarty's approach ramps (You'll need two, OK)
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0002-1.jpg
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0004-1.jpg

NOTE TO DUMMIES: A 2X12 IS NOT 2 INCHES DEEP - I had to add the little strip of wood at the end to accomodate the 3.5 inch carriage bolt.

3) Buy and use two rhino ramps with the appproach ramps connected to the rhino ramp by the hole in the rhino ramp
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0004-1.jpg I repeated this in case you didn't get it the first time.

4) Put rhino ramps on a carpet remnant to prevent sliding

5) Drive car forward onto rhino ramp without going over the end - that's considered bad form. Have tires touch the stopper on top of the rhino ramp (when you jack up the back, the front wheels may back up slightly, so give yourself some room for error). KEEP CAR IN GEAR WITH E-BRAKE ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6) Remove approach ramps (they'll get in your way - especially if your fat)
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0003-1.jpg
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...y/IMGP0001.jpg

7) Lets jack up the back: I used a low profile jack with a 25" 2x6 - I know people here might disagree - but your an idiot and ignorance is bliss. Jack is dead center on the board. I put it on something called a rear cross-member - but don't overstress your cortex - just look at these pictures and put it there. OK?
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0012-2.jpg
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0013-1.jpg
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0014-1.jpg
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0015-2.jpg

8) Jack stands at the mfr recommended jack point. Again, just stick em' where the picture shows 'em. NOTE - You'll need two.
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0016-2.jpg
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0017-1.jpg

NOTE - AND THIS IS SERIOUS - KEEP THE JACK IN PLACE LIKE IN THE PICS FOR SAFETY. Even though your dumb, I'm sure somebody loves you.

9) Identify the oil filter (the blue thing) and the two drain screws: One screw is right next to the filter and the other is in front at a 45 degree angle.
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0005-1.jpg
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0007-1.jpg

10) Put a BIG catch basin under this so you don't have this:
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...y/IMGP0027.jpg

11) Unscrew both drain screws (aka plugs). Don't lose the rubber seal on each. Use a hex ratchet - preferably one that fits the bolt.

12) Remove hand from hot burning oil - wear gloves - or enjoy a good second degree burn.

13) Admire cute metal fuzz on tip of bolt:
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0010-2.jpg
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0011-1.jpg
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0009-1.jpg

GOOD NEWS my intellectually challenged friend - the bolts are identical so that's one less thing you can fu(k up.

14) wipe off metal fuzz

15) after oil drained, remove filter. Don't use this tool - it sucks:
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...y/IMGP0033.jpg
I recommend something like this:
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0036-1.jpg

But note: the oil filter wrench in this pic does not fit the stock filter. It fit the Mobil 1 replacement I used:
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...y/IMGP0028.jpg. You'll need a 3/8 ratchet for this one.
To remove the stock filter, I resorted to hammering a narrow screwdriver thru the side of the filter because I'll be damned if I'm going to make another trip to Auto Zone.

16) Rub thin coat of oil on filter gasket (like putting some KY in your favorite orifice)

17) Replace plugs and new filter tightened to 18 something or other. Look he-man, just don't crank it too tight.

18) fill with oil here:
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0031-2.jpg 7.5 - 8 quarts depending on who you talk to.

19) Lower rear end

20) Replace approach ramps. Start car. Get off the ramps using reverse gear.

21) clean up your mess:
http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/a...IMGP0032-1.jpg

22) Apologize to your significant other for fu(king around with this all Sunday afternoon.

ADDENDUM (Additional suggestions) - Courtesy Allanlaw:
Get one of those nifty oil containers from the auto parts store that lets you drain your oil into them and then completely closes up so you can take the oil to the store to dump it out for disposal.

There is a plastic end cap socket like the one shown that will fit the stock oil filter - take the new filter to the auto parts store to try them out and find the right one, which in my case was not labelled for the PF48.

I only jack up the back of the car for a few minutes after the oil has pretty much drained out with the front on the Rhino Ramps, and then put it back down.

:rofl: :rofl:

Very informative and detailed. Liked the self deprecating humor. Maybe I'm just not as patient as I used to be, but isn't it a heck of a lot easier(and neater)just to have the oil changed at the dealership?

FWIW, I always hated removing the filter because oil would spill out the top and make a hell of a mess before I could get it unscrewed all the way. By punching a small hole in the bottom of the filter with a 10 penny nail, all the oil trapped in the filter drains out and doesn't run down your arm while trying to unscrew it. (It's a damn good idea to make sure you have a new filter before using the nail trick) If you slip a plastic sandwich bag over the filter before unscrewing it the rest of the way, the remaining oil won't get on you, your tools or the floor. That way your beer won't slip out of your greasy hands.

Yea if you like playing russian ruollete with you 75k car. I know there are good dealers out there, but I swear, it seams like the level of incompetence grows more and more! 90% of the technicians(they used to be called mechanics and they were) at dealerships are incompetent. It used to be, if you took your car to the dealer, you were taking it to the experts. Not anymore!! Its a crap shoot!

I am buying a lift for my shop, and unless I drop a rocker arm(like a forum member just did), or an engine, or something major, I am doing my OWN work.............

Good post, both informative and funny! But, I'll be taking ours to the dealer this afternoon to let them do it. I'll be right there with it though to make sure it is done right.

:iagree: Gave me something to smile about even though the weather is terrible this morning. Good on ya! First oil change was at dealership but have a two post Rotary Lift coming soon and will be changing my own in the future.
:cheers:

Great stuff! :thumbs:

Everyone should print the pics, laminate them, and keep them in the garage! :smash:

Nice write up, thanks for taking the time.

:iagree: My dealer has been great for the last 12 years and on my last 3vettes. But on my second oil change with the Z they overfilled about a quart and missed the clutch resevoir level. The Z is special, and it is different, and best not left to an inexperianced technician, you can go by the book and have an issue. (book says add 8 quarts) Yeah they made it right but I spent an extra hour, and it made me gunshy. So I started doing my own oil changes on all three of my rides from this point forward. Personally rewarding, I can do it on a Sunday, and when am done I am confident it was done right. Priceless....

Good pics & good advice. :thumbs: Made for a interesting read.

:cheers: Great Post :cheers:

Sticky it

Did you really use 0W-40?:nono: Five demerits for that, and a superficial caning as well.

i go to an oil change place where i direct from the pit and watch the whole thing.

Egads, how much do they charge to do an oil change in your area? Doesn't look like anything that I would enjoy doing anymore.

Excellent idea!

I thought that might provoke some discussion - I actually placed 6 quarts of 5-30 and the rest 0-40. It's been sooo hot I'm concerned as to how well 5-30 can hold up. Actually, 0-40 is what they put in the Euro spec Zs.

:iagree:

I've been doing oil changes on my vehicles at home ever since my first car. Any reason why your jacking up the rear end to change the oil?

I do my own oil changes, but it was a good/funny read anyway. :lol:

Thanks

To drain out the last bit of oil.