What Not to Do With Your Corvette
They say no one is useless, because they can serve as a bad example. What follows are bad examples of what some people have done to, or done with, their Corvettes.
1. Take it Off-Road
The Corvette is one of the best sports cars in the world, but it is only at home on a paved road or track. Taking it off-roading is just a bad idea. No matter how cute the girl who tries to talk you into it is, off-roading in this car will always end in disaster, from scratched paint, to burned out clutches, to ruined suspensions. So, keep your four wheels on the paved roads and enjoy what the Vette was truly made for.
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2. Make it a Limo
A stretch limo Corvette is like a six foot tall gymnast; she is going to lack a lot of the agility that is the core of the whole sport. Not only is it a huge waste of a sporty car to chop and stretch a beautiful Corvette, it also makes for an ugly limousine. Any true Corvette fan would not go near this limousine, unless it was to leave a note about how the owner has no taste.
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3. Turn it Into a Pool Table
Believe it or not, there is a company in Florida that can turn your classic car into a pool table, which is a little like turning your beautiful wife into floor lamp. If you have the desire to turn your Corvette into a pool table, then we hope that at least you start with a beyond repair parts car, otherwise you're making a huge mistake and are insulting the entire automotive world.
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4. Drive on Water
The Corvette is lightweight, and the bottom of it is very smooth with few holes or gaps, it is not quite amphibious. However, it is true that most boats are made out of fiberglass, like a Corvette, and it is also true that the Chevy Corvette was named after a small fast warship, but you ought to limit your driving to mostly dry land. Even deeper than average puddles should be avoided if possible.
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5. Flaunt It
Everyone knows the Corvette is the real performance bargain bought by men (and ladies) who care about what the car will do, not which European country the factory is in. Is the Corvette cheap? No, not compared to a Cruze or a Corolla, but when you compare it to a six figure exotic it is. If you beet some hopped up Civic in a drag race, it is expected, and flaunting how much your car costs is just poor sportsmanship. Perhaps a better vanity plate would indicate how little you paid, to show the Porsche 911 driver when you beat him. Besides, this is a C4, currently the most affordable of Corvettes.
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6. Try to Improve the Design
Chevrolet has hired the best automotive designers over the years to make the Corvette a truly stunning car in every generation, and there is no way adding two extra taillights would make it better-looking. Let the professionals do their jobs, and definitely don't just change things on a whim.
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7. Let Amateurs Transport it
If you need to transport your classic Corvette, or any Corvette for that matter, it is always wise to pay extra to get a specialty hauling company. The last thing you want is to see your Corvette falling off of the truck while you argue with the driver about the fees.
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8. Jump your Bike Off of It
Obviously, you are not going to do this, because you are likely a full grown person who doesn't ride a BMX bike anymore. But be careful if you park near a skate/bike park, because that Corvette nose is sloped perfectly for getting some sweet air.
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9. Turn it Into a Truck
I know, we are all still broken up over the loss of the Chevy El Camino way back in 1987, but please don't take it out on your Corvette. If you want a car based truck with an LS motor in it, why not find one of those front wheel drive Monte Carlo SS coupes, and chop that instead?
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For help with service of your car, check out the how to section of CorvetteForum.com