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Old 05-11-2013, 10:51 PM
  #21  
65air_coupe
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This engineer has also done many stupid things, both to and with a car...and with women too! Admitedly though, most were when I was young, dumb and pre-degree.

Probably the worst was when I was doing a customized interior on a Dodge van. I wanted to reinforce the floor where I was going to bolt down the base for a pedastal table so I was stick welding 2 short sections of 1/4" by 2" steel plate inside the corrogations of the floor. Just as I was nearly finished, I pushed the welding rod through the thin sheet metal of the floor. I pulled it back out and immediately smelled gasoline! I had just penetrated the top of the 36 gallon fuel tank with a red hot welding rod...and lived! I was quite lucky I wasn't the proud owner of the first Dodge van to travel to the outer atmosphere!
Old 05-12-2013, 01:30 AM
  #22  
RFJohnston
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OK. If this doesn't take top honors for stupidity, I'll be amazed.

My dad bought me a 1955 Plymouth for my high school graduation present in 1963. It was a 4 door sedan... and what I really wanted was a convertible, but I was grateful for a car, and didn't complain. It was in great shape and ran well.

I had a part time job working my way through college. I became friends with a guy that worked at a body shop that summer. Now I assumed that if he worked at a body shop and made recommendations to me, he knew what he was talking about.

To make a long story short, the guy knew where there was a convertible clip and it would be an easy conversion. (yah right)

So... you guessed it... we cut the roof off of the car. Now as I said this was a 4 door sedan. You will notice I didnt say that we got the clip and parts together prior to cutting the roof off this car. Long story short again, the clip was no longer available, and we couldn't find one. Oh, and my friend it turns out also wasnt a real body man.

We did this in the summer, so I wasn't real concerned as we had time to find parts. I threw a pup tent over the car to keep it dry during the rain.

My dad about had a stroke when he saw the car.

As you can imagine, there is NO structural rigidity in a 4 door sedan without a roof. You could wiggle the door posts side to side, etc. Driving the car in this condition, actually cause the frame to spring/sag.

Ultimately, we ending selling this car off for a parts car to another guy, as the car was basically destroyed.

I bought a 55 Ford Sunliner convert... continental wheel, long skirts, spinner hub caps, the whole nine yards.

Until the day of his death, my dad would occasionally rag me about that car. Hey, I was barely 18... what did I know?

And with this story guys, I claim the title of the dumbest kid around in the mid 60s... I don't think Bubba would have even done this...

Last edited by RFJohnston; 05-12-2013 at 01:39 AM.
Old 05-12-2013, 03:58 AM
  #23  
AmericanPie
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Most of my dumbest mistakes were with my first car.

Shortly after I turned 16 (in 1969) I bought a '63 Impala SS. So naturally, like any ambitious kid who just got his license and "dream car", I set about "improving" it .

Among high school kids back then, the standard practice was to jack up the rear end with air shocks. So I mounted the first pair I came across (evidently without checking to see if they were the correct ones for my car), pumped them up and was amazed at how high the a#* end of my car was stuck up in the air. At first I thought it was pretty cool but after driving it I couldn't figure out why it road so stiffly in back, as though it didn't have any rear suspension; the tires would hop over the slightest bump and the car was almost uncontrollable. I was clueless, but all I knew was I was having fun "stancing" at the drive-in.

Then a few days later I hit a big pothole and something in back went WHAM! The rear end dropped, and kept bouncing.

Turned out the air shocks were wrong (too short) for the car; in order to get them to fit I had over-extended them and once filled with air they became like solid rods back there. Both of my upper shock mounts had busted. So in typical Bubba fashion, I stick-welded a big piece of channel iron across the frame to use as an upper mount for the shocks. Without much welding experience and trying to do overhead and vertical welds you can imagine the result; I kind of glopped it on. But hey, it worked OK...once I got the correct shocks for the car. I drove it for several years like that.

Oh, and then there was the time I let my buddy, an aspiring body man, cut a big hole in my hood and pop-rivet one of those fiberglass "teardrops" onto it. When he brought out the jig saw and started tearing into the sheet metal something TOLD me that wasn't going to end well. But then that's another story...

Last edited by AmericanPie; 05-12-2013 at 04:00 AM.
Old 05-12-2013, 06:58 AM
  #24  
DansYellow66
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Dplotkin's story reminded me of another entry. After getting my drivers license and before my first car I was stuck with driving my Mom's 1960 Ford Faiilane 500 4 dr with a 292 V8 and auto. I think this vehicle still holds the record for the widest mass produced car. It also weighed well over 2 tons I suspect and could barely chirp a tire by reving up in neutral and pulling it into drive. My first winter I drove a couple frends to see a movie at the shopping center in Overland Park KS and when we came out there was a fresh 2 or 3 inches of snow on the ground. Wooo hooo - my first snow driving experience. So I did what any teenager would do under the circumstances with fresh snow, my Mom's car, a virtually empty shopping center parking lot and a couple encouraging friends - I decided to cut my first donuts in fresh snow - and I managed to do a respectable job - rght up to the point that I rolled not one, but two tires off the rims. Of course we only had one spare and it was evening so we were screwed. Had to call Dad to come to the rescue and I don't remember where he came up with two fresh rims and tires (possibly mounted snow tires) but after a couple hours he had us headed home. And the strange thing is I don't remember him ever getting on me or brinnging that story up again.

Dan
Old 05-12-2013, 07:56 AM
  #25  
Kerrmudgeon
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You make a lot of mistakes when you are young, self taught, and keen about cars. The thing that sticks out and made me feel the DUMBEST was being so keen to take an inaugural run after finally getting my 66 together, was that, while driving about 35mph I watched the hood slowly rise up at the front, and then, very quickly take off over my head! I looked in the rear view mirror in time to see it cartwheel down the road (thank God no one was behind me). I forgot to bolt down the newly painted, extensively modified hood. DAH!!!

And thankfully no one saw what happened! I quickly turned around and retrieved my poor hood, and slowly drove home, tail between my legs for sure. Only the corners and paint suffered on my "work of art" hood.
Old 05-12-2013, 08:32 AM
  #26  
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One of my first cars as a teenager was a 1978 Audi Fox, with a 4 cylinder fuel injected engine.

A buddy of mine moved South from upstate NY for a short time right after high school and decided to come back home, breaks down on 95 in Virginia so he calls me to pick him up. On the way back, MY car breaks down on one of the loops around DC, Sunday afternoon, hot as hell, no money, help or parts.

We figured out that the engine wasn't getting gas, and then narrowed it down to the electric fuel pump going out. It had power but wouldn't pump gas. (It was mounted by the right rear wheel just ahead of the tank). The pump was a cylinder with rolled rims, so we peeled it apart, found it had siezed, and got it spinning again. Rolled the rims back together and it worked!

Leaked an unbelievable amount of gas,we tied rags around it and drove home, all the way up through MD, PA, and into western NY...had to stop twice for gas IIRC

Just praying the whole way someone wouldn't throw a cigarette out in front of us!
Old 05-12-2013, 10:29 AM
  #27  
out2kayak
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Caution: if your squeamish you may not want to read this.

I have a nice scar where stupidity and I met.

I was in the Air Force at the time and wanted to work on my Firebird that had headers and low hanging exhaust. In order to facilitate working under the car, I rented out a lift at the base auto hobby shop.

Before I started driving up the ramp, I told attendant to please watch the exhaust as it hung low. Long story short the muffler got caught on the lift, ripping it off of the car.

As you could imagine, I was pretty peeved. I backed up and pulled into a non-lift bay, put the car up on jacks so I could repair the damage. What had happened is the front connection on the muffler was pulled from the exhaust pipe. With all the adrenaline and anger providing tons of energy, I simply grabbed the pipe with one hand (it had cooled off) and the muffler with the other hand and tried to get the two to slide back together. As the connection was not round any more, it was not quite working out.

So, I broke out the hammers and made the connection a bit more round, then attempted again to connect the two. Well, the energy must of faded a bit or the sweat made things a bit slippery, because when I aligned the two the muffler slipped and went forward in a guillotine action, cutting my middle finger on my left hand (the bone was intact, though).

I quickly removed the muffler (the energy had returned) and went to wash out the wound. I wrapped it with a shop rag, then went back to the counter. Yes, it was the same guy who "helped" me before. I asked him for a band-aid, as I cut my finger. He would not give me one until he seen the finger, so I took off the shop rag. Needless to say, I never did get the band-aid. I went to the clinic and received several stitches.

To this day I have a nice blue line on my fingertip caused by the carbon from that exhaust pipe.



-- Joe
Old 05-12-2013, 10:51 AM
  #28  
yogiboobuck
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I think this will rank up there with some of these posts. I had a 68 Chevelle that I had put a Corvette 427 in, paid $500, find that deal today. Came across a SS hood so I took off the stock hood and set on the SS hood to see how it looked. My buddies where going to help bolt it on the next day. Before they showed up I needed to work on the engine so I lifted the hood off the car and set on the street in front of the car. I was parked in front of my parents house. Decided to take a test spin, I DIDN'T back up.
Old 05-12-2013, 11:09 AM
  #29  
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Originally Posted by out2kayak
Caution: if your squeamish you may not want to read this.

I have a nice scar where stupidity and I met.

I was in the Air Force at the time and wanted to work on my Firebird that had headers and low hanging exhaust. In order to facilitate working under the car, I rented out a lift at the base auto hobby shop.

Before I started driving up the ramp, I told attendant to please watch the exhaust as it hung low. Long story short the muffler got caught on the lift, ripping it off of the car.

As you could imagine, I was pretty peeved. I backed up and pulled into a non-lift bay, put the car up on jacks so I could repair the damage. What had happened is the front connection on the muffler was pulled from the exhaust pipe. With all the adrenaline and anger providing tons of energy, I simply grabbed the pipe with one hand (it had cooled off) and the muffler with the other hand and tried to get the two to slide back together. As the connection was not round any more, it was not quite working out.

So, I broke out the hammers and made the connection a bit more round, then attempted again to connect the two. Well, the energy must of faded a bit or the sweat made things a bit slippery, because when I aligned the two the muffler slipped and went forward in a guillotine action, cutting my middle finger on my left hand (the bone was intact, though).

I quickly removed the muffler (the energy had returned) and went to wash out the wound. I wrapped it with a shop rag, then went back to the counter. Yes, it was the same guy who "helped" me before. I asked him for a band-aid, as I cut my finger. He would not give me one until he seen the finger, so I took off the shop rag. Needless to say, I never did get the band-aid. I went to the clinic and received several stitches.

To this day I have a nice blue line on my fingertip caused by the carbon from that exhaust pipe.



-- Joe
Similar story. Back when I was poor (well poorer than now anyway) I got in a hurry to change the top radiator hose on my wife's slant 6 Duster so she could get to work on time. Engine was OFF. Snatched that top hose off at the radiator dragging my thumb across the sharp edge of the flex fan (I'll NEVER have another one)....sliced my right thumb to the bone. Luckily doctor's save the tendon but it was interesting ride to the ER with my hand wrapped in a blood soaked towel while my 9-month pregnant wife drove tearfully (and fast) to the hospital.

Of course, I tell everybody the long scar is from a bayonet cut during the Tet Offensive (JUST KIDDING)!
Old 05-12-2013, 12:07 PM
  #30  
tuxnharley
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My second car was a 1963 Falcon Sprint convertible (wish I still had it!) with the 260 V8. I decided it need to be modified with a cam, new intake, and a 4 bbl carb. Hey as long as I was doing all that, I might as well put in new rings and bearings too, right? All in the car, with the pan off, etc.

All went well, until I just couldn't get one of the pistons to seat down in the cylinder. Rings were compressed and in the bore, so what the heck was the problem? Might as well just give it a little tap with a wood block and hammer, and then several harder ones. Damn thing still wouldn't budge, so one last solid wack - and still nothing, but did hear a metallic ringing sound that time.................uh, oh!

Finally remembered to crawl under the car and look. Sure enough, I hadn't properly aligned the rod bolts over the crank journal, and one bolt had now nicely gouged into the journal surface. Pulled the piston back out, used some files and emery cloth to round off the surface of the gouge as smooth as possible, used some STP for assembly lube on that area, and put the whole thing back together. It ran like a champ for another two years and 20k+ miles, until I got rid of it.

Never did tell anyone else 'til now!


Last edited by tuxnharley; 05-12-2013 at 01:42 PM. Reason: typo
Old 05-12-2013, 12:15 PM
  #31  
65silververt
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Dumbest thing? Ok, when i was 12 my father had his first Midyear and i found the assembly manual and decided after reading a few sentences to adjust the valves. Now, please keep in mind that I knew nothing about cars at all, what-so-ever at 12. I thought the valve adjustment was done by turning the valve cover bolts. So, i loosened them and thought i had helped out until my father and i went for a ride. Oil was blowing all out of the valve covers and onto the manifolds. We were leaving a plume of smoke behind us as we drove around. We got back to the house and I realized what i had done, so i tightened the aluminum valve cover bolts and effectively broke two off in the heads.
I've screwed up many times, but that would be the dumbest thing i have ever done. That and when i attempted to put a lift kit on my blazer in highschool and broke the axles.

Last edited by 65silververt; 05-13-2013 at 12:22 AM.
Old 05-12-2013, 01:07 PM
  #32  
TheSaint
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I can only think of doing some wire work adding some gauges to a friends car when the wires started smoking

But i remember watching a person jacking up his car on the oil pan.
There where several of us watching but nobody of us told him not to jack up the car on the oil pan.
Evereybody was just waiting for the oil pan to brake and it did
Old 05-12-2013, 01:12 PM
  #33  
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Just got home with a fresh paint job on my first car that I built from scratch, a 1930 Model A with '48 V8 flathead and noticed the driver's window wasn't quite rolling up and down smoothly.
Took the door panel off and saw the main vertical brace to the door frame was loose. Didn't have a big enough pop rivet tool so decided to braze it. Broke out the torch and brazing rod and went to it. Almost half way through the job I started smelling burning paint!! Yep, my brand new fresh paint on the lower part of the door now looked like a 10" sunflower on the outside. The car was Moon yellow. Crap!!
Old 05-12-2013, 02:22 PM
  #34  
hedgehead
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Was working on my old 58 biscane and reached my hand through the drivers side window to turn it over thinking it was out of gear. It wasn't. It went through a chain link fence, a hedge and wound up in my neighbors back yard.
Since claysmoker brought up airplanes, bought too many cases of beer for the crew chief for neglecting to insert ejection seat safety pins post flight.
Old 05-12-2013, 07:07 PM
  #35  
AmericanPie
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So many good stories. Here's another one.

One of my buddies had an early '60s Ford (a Galaxie, I think), with tail fins. One day he brought it over to the gas station where one of our "gang" worked, and put it on a lift. It was one of those adjustable lifts that used four jacking points on the chassis. I went out to get the beer.

When I returned, the car's tail fins were stuck in the ceiling of the garage, because the front part of the car had slipped off the lift. It looked like the whole car was about to slide downward and forward, and crash through the garage wall. If somebody had lowered the lift a few inches, it probably would have. A bunch of guys (all drunk) were hanging on chains they had wrapped around the rear end of the car, frantically trying to dislodge the fins from the ceiling and pull the car down. That was one of the funniest sights I've ever seen.

Last edited by AmericanPie; 05-12-2013 at 07:14 PM.
Old 05-12-2013, 07:27 PM
  #36  
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I test fit a set of slicks on my 64 Nova and realized I was running late to work. Was going to just drive it with the slicks on but they hung out past the wheel well. Quickly took them off and threw on the wheels. Coming home the rear end wanted to "shift" around. I quickly pulled over as the car dropped down on it's driver side. Saw the wheel roll in front of me and everything. Luckally no damage to the quarter panel. Walked home about a mile to get a jack and some spare lug nuts.
Old 05-12-2013, 09:02 PM
  #37  
jimh_1962
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did a body drop literally! The hoist failed during a body drop. It happened in front a bunch of people who were helping out. The worst part was I really did not need to use the hoist since I plenty of help. I did not upset in front of anyone. I did that night... I drank a few beers and said move on to repairing.

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Old 05-12-2013, 09:10 PM
  #38  
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At 17 years of age I wanted my '57 Chevy to sit higher in the rear but couldn't afford air shocks. I thought jacking it up & putting muffler clamps on the rear shocks would do the trick & it did....for about the first 10 miles. Needless to say the ride was kinda stiff & I ended up buying new shocks anyway.
Old 06-01-2013, 01:13 PM
  #39  
Greg DeMarco
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Sure! In a hurry to change oil and get on the road for vacation. So proud I finished it in record time. Only forgot to reinstall the oil drain plug! What a mess and extra expense. We departed way late!! The wife was not happy to say the least.
Old 06-01-2013, 02:08 PM
  #40  
Gary's '66
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Originally Posted by Greg DeMarco
Sure! In a hurry to change oil and get on the road for vacation. So proud I finished it in record time. Only forgot to reinstall the oil drain plug! What a mess and extra expense. We departed way late!! The wife was not happy to say the least.
Did the same thing once. 5 quarts of oil all over the floor! I did so many stupid things when I was young (besides that) that I still can't believe I did.
After removing a broken windshield I was using a hammer and chisel on the frame to remove old caulk. When done I tossed the hammer about 6 ft. right onto the new windshield I had sitting on the ground next to the car.
Put custom steering wheel on a car but didn't bolt it on correctly. Wheel came off while doing a burnout. Should have seen me trying to get that wheel back on just before hitting a garage. My friend who was with me said it was hilarious!
Put engine cleaner in newly purchased '67 GTO with about 200,000 miles on it and, you guessed it, the motor had about 50hp and sounded like it was rattling apart.
I could go on and on but feeling a bit embarrassed now


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