OT but really funny
Thread Starter
Le Mans Master
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 5,269
Likes: 54
From: Orlando Florida
St. Jude Donor '05
OT but really funny
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry &that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking myself and a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry &that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking myself and a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
Race Director
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 10,628
Likes: 132
From: Duvall, WA
Burning Brakes
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 918
Likes: 5
From: Gainesville FL
My Mom told me about a guy in her hometown who was always called "Thrive-O" after he came back from the tavern pretty snockered and hungry. Turned out the beef stew in the fridge was really for the dog (Thrive-O was a brand of dog food in those days, apparently).
Safety Car
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 3,547
Likes: 12
From: Carbondale Pa.
Originally Posted by Vette Gator
My Mom told me about a guy in her hometown who was always called "Thrive-O" after he came back from the tavern pretty snockered and hungry. Turned out the beef stew in the fridge was really for the dog (Thrive-O was a brand of dog food in those days, apparently).
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Le Mans Master
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 8,339
Likes: 24
From: I can walk to MA
Those are too funny.
My wife handed my 10YO son a Beggin' strip the other night and told him
to try "this bacon". He liked it, but then claimed it had a funny aftertaste.
She fessed up, and he asked for another. Sit Sam, sit.
My wife handed my 10YO son a Beggin' strip the other night and told him
to try "this bacon". He liked it, but then claimed it had a funny aftertaste.
She fessed up, and he asked for another. Sit Sam, sit.