Todays Joke
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Joined: Sep 2006
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From: McCook Nebraska
Todays Joke
Subject: Haircut
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and said, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours."
The guy left.
A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop and said, "About 3 hours."
The guy left.
A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half."
The guy left.
The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey, Bill, do me a favor. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back."
A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?"
Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said, "Your house."
greg
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and said, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours."
The guy left.
A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop and said, "About 3 hours."
The guy left.
A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half."
The guy left.
The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey, Bill, do me a favor. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back."
A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?"
Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said, "Your house."
greg
Safety Car
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 3,547
Likes: 12
From: Carbondale Pa.
try this one:
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large."
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."
The conversation has almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those?"
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"
Peace,,,Moosie
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large."
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."
The conversation has almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those?"
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"
Peace,,,Moosie
Melting Slicks
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,100
Likes: 12
From: Frederick Maryland
Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day.
Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world."
Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."
Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the most disgusting and repulsive person in the world."
They all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified.
Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy. "It's official; I AM the most beautiful girl in the world."
Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I AM now officially the smallest person in the world."
Sometime later, Quasimodo comes out looking utterly confused and says,
"Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell?"
Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world."
Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."
Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the most disgusting and repulsive person in the world."
They all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified.
Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy. "It's official; I AM the most beautiful girl in the world."
Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I AM now officially the smallest person in the world."
Sometime later, Quasimodo comes out looking utterly confused and says,
"Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell?"
