The UPS guy brought me a new front bumper cover today and I was feeling ambitious so I thought I'd remove the old one and perform a test fit tonight... Simple job right... LOL, maybe it’s simple on most, but I’ve discovered a long time ago that nothing is simple on my bubbafied car.

I spent several hours fighting stripped screws, and rounded bolts removing the headlight trim, the front grills, and a few more hours twisting the heads off about a third of the lower valance hardware. LOL, I'm almost ashamed to admit that it took me 6 hours, my drill, and my always faithful 'blue flame wrench' on one of the bolts to even get to the point where I can see most of the nuts holding the cover on. I’m not sure that I can actually see the 2 bolts on either side yet, but I can feel them so I'm pretending I can see them. I’m not sure how I’m going to really reach them since the bumper bracket is still in the way and officially ‘stuck’ but that’s a problem from when my hands recover from the abuse they took getting that far.

The way my night was going I was afraid to even touch any of the nuts to remove the bumper cover... That "joy" will have to wait until the weekend when I have more time to play. I should have stopped several hours before I actually did. I had a few good stopping points, like when I squirted myself in the face with PB blaster, or when my air ratchet took a crap, or when my halogen light died, or when my tool cart got beat to hell by a random temper tantrum and a 3' section of pipe.

 

About a year and a half ago, decided I needed to upgrade to o-ring ss sleeved calipers. Take the old ones off, put the new ones on; shoulda taken 2 days. The last guy working on the fronts wrenched on the hardline to the flex hose in front, I ended up cutting and replacing the entire front system. Just for kicks, my stepdad wanted to see how hard they had been wrenched on and cut the connection free. Took him a six point socket with a 3/8" ratchet to get it free. Back calipers I don't think had ever been taken apart, and one of the bolts was frozen. Had to steal the handle off a floor jack and slip it over a breaker bar with me and my cousin pushing on it to break it loose.

Total time: two solid weeks

 

Personally, I think that the designers of the late C3 bumpers and interiors were possessed by the devil. WAAAY too many pieces to get wrong.

 

Corvette = simple project from hell.....

 

I'd rather R&R a motor than do body or trim work on these cars.

 

Yeah, well you're getting pretty good at it. Soon enough, you'll be dropping in the L48 on Sunday night, and swapping in the AR383 on Friday night!!!

 

For me, almost everything is a "project from hell" !! The ones that stand out are the simplest things that I cannot do. For example, my brake pedal pin fell out onto my floormat... (very scary!!! = no brakes!!) and I slid it back in and I could manage to slip on a homemade paperclip, but I could not, for the life of me attach the factory-style clip. I spent countless hours on my back fishing up under the dash around the brake pedal trying to attach that clip. Finally one day I was at my mechanics shop about something else and I mentioned it to him. He put one of his guys on it and..... a half hour later he had the clip on the brake pedal pin. I asked him how he managed and he mumbled something about skinny fingers.... except I looked, and he has fat fingers!

 

My wife would say that is every project.

She usually doubles any estimates I give her....

 

Why bust your nuts trying to remove the old cover? If you're going to replace it, just cut it off. I couldn't reach all the bolts on my rear cover so I took a linoleum knife and cut the sucker to shreds. Bolts were easy to reach after that.

 

I have instituted a no wrench policy for the next 4 months....this came after swapping out my chrome thermostat water neck...no problem a 5 minute job.....looked at everything all seemed the same....got out socket and ratchet tightened it all down. everything felt good, took off socket to see my two bolts fully tightened down but still sticking up about 3/16 of an inch....got this sick feeling in my stomach realizing that i had just bottomed out the bolts invthe aluminum intake manifold....one came out easily....the other would not budge.....got out my bolt torque specs 15lbs is the torque number and i knew if i used more then that trying to get it out it woul break....got out my torque wrench and carefully worked it back and forth never passing 25 ft lbs....knowing that at 30lbs it would snap in half....took me about 20 minuites of 1/16 turns to get this out....it was twisted and mangled and so close to breaking....so I have instituted a no wrench policy for the next 4 months...

 

Yea. I thought the carpet would be a simple easy job. HAH!! Boy did it prove me wrong! Took six weeks, 1200 bucks, and all new panels to go with the carpet before I was satisfied. Oh, yea and new leather seats too - another grand that I forgot.

 

Anybody who's ever attempted to swap out a brake booster for the first time is embarking on a simple project from hell.

 

Nope Never had a project that was worse that I thought....Never

 

People laugh at me for recomending WD-40 instead of PB Blaster. It isn't because it works better, it's because it tastes better.

 

took me $80 in metal sawall blades to cut my t-arms out...... i also got fiberglass resin in my eye...that burned... luckily i wear contacts so that took most of the hit..... putting the diff cover and crossmember in as one was also a pita....... that's all for now


b

 

Man, we've got poor mechanics in this forum....

Just kidding. I also thought I would replace my front bumper in a "normal" length of time. HA! Every retainer was so rusted the bolt head just turned right off. Also, I thought I'd replace all the headlight adjusters while I was in there since the headlights would not adjust. Those little frickers really P'ed me off!! I ended up drilling HALF of them out and re-tapping the holes because they we so rusty the phillips heads just turned right off the shank.

This is why I now replace all fasteners I touch with ARP or stainless hardware store items.

 

I just twisted the mounting bolts off. I wasn't going to reuse them anyway. If you want to reuse the stips drill out the broken studs and install 10 x 32 brass screws and solder them in place to prevent turning.
I used a replacement aluminum bumper and I used some of the existing holes for mounting and drilled a few in other locations more friendly to the hand. I then put 1/4 x 20 brass bolts from the bumper outward or facing backwards and used a lock nut to hold them into place.
I then used a large countersink that I used on the front of the car to clearance the locking nuts.
This left me with a bunch of studs sticking out of the bumper. I put it in place and put the nuts on from the back. Since I relocated the difficult holes I have no problem.
I spend about a month fitting my new bumper.

 

I also cut off the old bumper cover ... much easier.
I just ordered a new TruFlex bumper ... please pray for me.
If it takes a month to install, I'm gonna cry.
You only need to save the retainer strips if you are going
to replace with another urethane cover. Fiberglass or TruFlex
use stainless retainers or stainless bolts with washers just fine.

 

You guys sure know how to make my day. I've mentioned before how I got my painter to include the bumpers as part of the deal. Man, what a PITA for him . He's spent the last week off and on getting it to fit right. If I'd have tried to put that front bumper on I'm pretty sure I'd be trying to collect insurance as a result of a "mysterious fire".

 

spent three evenings getting the red indicator on my heater working, not the heater, the red thingey