I'm glad I'm not the only one that wants to cut all the trees down in the neighborhood just to get rid of a few birds. As far as I can tell with the etched "dung ding" on my left rear fender, everything that I've tried to fix it has inevitably caused yet more work due to having to polish my hiney off to get the unaffected areas surrounding the "affected" area back to a high shine. Just get out the cleaner wax, give it a good once over, hit it with a good coat of polish, and call it a draw. Maybe a hungry cat will eat the "beastly bomber" that hit your car. Good luck. Jerry

 

To my Comrads at Arms: "Super Dave, and, the "Big VRD",

The elite special forces group, the "C5 Cover Your Heads Team", is in frigging full S.W.A.T.. Specialists are now positioned and ready at zero radar point blank range with deadly aim on the rogue target. Sweethearts, we are on a frigging mission. Your orders are to take no prisoners.

Now, let me tell you about the cramp and pain in my unaffected, and, "effing" affected areas whilst my azz is stealthily ensconced and dangerously perched on a limb barely three inches in diameter and about 15 feet off the ground overlooking mine, and, my neighbors back yard.

...Frankly, I must be "effing" crazy to be perched precariously within the limbs of a mere dry desert hybrid of a cactus plant that once mated with the skinniest palm tree mutant from the planet Zot in the late Australopithecine era. And, I can sure bet that its primitive pollen must have been flown in on the backs of these Damn Dovey Denizens of the Deepest Depths of Doo Doo. Oh, man! With just the mere thought of those Flinging Fecal Feathered Farters, my "Irate as Hell" meter has jumped up to major redline.

Well, I notice movement in the neighbors yard. And, I see my Neanderthal neighbor (a relative of "Fat Fred Flinstone") step out onto the patio. He is carrying a huge netting device which I later discern to be a car bra. As he holds the car bra spread eagle in his arms, I realize with much amazement that Fat Fred is so fat that he basically wears the same size bra as my Corvette. Geezus, that car bra fits my neighbor perfectly!

Well, I am really ready to feel a little more calm with an "all system clear 'n ****" lighter mood, when all of the sudden, I hear "Fat Fred" call out to the Dubious Dungo Doveys.

And, I cringe because he does so ever so sweetly, offering huge pieces of french bread (which he stuffs wildely in his prehistoric face at the same time with gusto), as some 50 of the little **** "Sh!tty Chickens", come seemingly from out of frigging no where (maybe some UFO. Yep, gotta be it), that will soon threaten my C5 with some "close encounters" of the curdliest and crappiest kind.

But, brothers and sisters, yours truly is prepared. I have my 10 year olds 50 caliber Bazooka Water Blaster aimed and ready. Hey, you little feathered scum bags, meet my buddy "Mattel". I am gonna...: "Honey, is that you up there? Gee, that branch looks like it kind of straining. Oh, oh! Ah, wait! Honey! (snap, crackle). Oh, oh. The branch is really screaming now. And, its really telling me to tell you (pop!)...Oh, hi Honey. The In laws are here". Frack!

Well, as it is stated in the good book (Book of Poop; Wipes Galore, Verse Gazillion): "Verily, will it sucketh mightily unto thee if one spitest the winged creatures of the air. And, even most heartily smote and smite unto thee when one hitith the earth with ones big fateth azzeth end".


On a side note: Hey, Super Dave,

My sweetheart always thought that the owls at Home Depot were real. Well, truth be told, so did I. In fact, I think it was me who had the amazing insight to broadcast such idea. My sight is crap from all the bird doo doo in my eyes. My honey got into the habit of turning a C5 Corvette cap upside down whenever we went under the "Killer Owl". You see, the thought behind this was that if "Bambi Beater" crapped the big one, it would land in the cap. But, I ask you: What kind of thinking is that? And, especially since my beloved would still want the pate rubbed by his beloved when we get home?

Cheers Everyone,
Eden

 

OK. Not to over simplify ... but have to tried the trick with hanging shiny/reflective things (i.e. compacts discs, little mirrored ornaments, etc.) ... If you need to me to help ... let me know ... I have a clear shot .. and I'm not afraid to take it!

 

Hi Gang,

Well, in the name of "DJ", of whom started this illuminating and very amusing thread, and, to "Super Dave", as well as, all our other wonderful brothers and sisters who have posted on this thread: May the sweet "effing" bird of happiness stay the frick away from our vettes.

And, "Super Dave", time to call in some reinforcements. So, take that shot for me, good buddy.

Best Wishes,
Eden

 

Ok. I have some Patron Silver ... shots fired

 

Ah, a friend's thoughtfulness is a treasured gift.


But, seriously: Was that a bang or a toot from you know where (cause it wasn't me)?!


Ah, it is always fun to share a laugh with friends.

Best Wishes Always,
Eden

 

Got hit myself twice on the rear deck lid of my black C 4 while attending a wine fest. After that I always carry what I call a B.S.K. (bird sh!* kit) consisting of a disposable water bottle filled with vinegar, a bottle of fresh water, a detail spray (of your choice) and a couple of soft cotton diapers.Soak the diaper with vinegar and place it over the spot. Its OK to keep the diaper saturated with the vinegar, then flood with water and gently wipe it away.The sooner you flush, the less damage.

When I returned home ( 3 to four hours later) I reapplied the vinegar on a wet rag several more times but could still see the spot. I went to the dealer who is a friend of mine asking for his input. When he started talking about color sanding I was outta there! I then went home and tried a product called Scratch Out by KIT. Using an orbital buffer, scratch out and vinegar, I completely removed the spot.

Good luck and remember to pack your BSK!

 

I always carry detail mist and mirofiber rags, just in case. Sooner you get it off the better!