I've been going through all the old posts, looking for answers to questions -- don't want to . I've seen references to the 'corvette commandments' but can't find them. Help please!

Thanks in advance!

 

I found this post that may be the one...

http://forums.corvetteforum.com/show...87&postcount=3

 

 

For a second I thought the search function was down again. I found it by searching "commandments".

 

I broke 5, 8 and 10 many, many times

 

Commandment 10

I could see snubbing a 280Z...but not a Porsche. Seen what those critters can do on the Autobahn!

 

Thanks all! I tried searching -- must be tired! couldn't find it :o

 

Hmm. Seems there are multiple versions. Was Mel Brooks right? Were there originally 15 commandments?

 

A little longer, but good none the less.

RULES FOR DRIVING MY C5 CORVETTE

1. Understand this. It is MY car, not yours. I expect you to treat it as such.

2. A set of tires cost $2000. Don’t be spinning the rubber off of them.

3. It burns premium gas. You get it full so bring it back full. Ifyou’re worried about the price of gas-don’t drive it. If you drive itright, it will get 28mpg.

4. It’s only 5 ½ inches off of the ground. It doesn’t do even slightlysteep driveways, speed bumps, or parking space barriers very well.

5. There’s 6 feet of hood and a nose cone that you can’t see from thedrivers seat. Give objects in front of you plenty of room. Be sure youcan see the ground between the front of the car and what ever is infront of you.

6. The air intake for the after market air induction system sits justabove the road in front of the radiator. To drive through a puddle ofwater more than a couple of inches deep could result in another new$5000 engine.

7. It is equipped with electronic counter measures. If you get aspeeding ticket, you’re screwed. If you get a DUI, you’re dead. Itoperates independent of the ignition. If you leave it turned on afteryou shut the car off, it will drain the battery. Call AAA. Don’t callme. Jumper cables are in the trunk just in case you have a total memorylapse.

8. Look THROUGH the heads-up display at the road. You don’t have tostare at it. The computer will tell you if you need to check the gagesor the tires are flat.

9. Watch the idiot on the cell phone in front of you. Don’t be one.Give them plenty of room. The anti-lock brakes are good. Use them.Often.

10. The windows roll down automatically when you open the rear deck tostore the top. Don’t drive it with the top down and the windows up. Youlook like a moron and give Corvette owners a bad name.

11. If you drive it right, the “check engine” light will not come on.Even though the light will go out after the third cold start, I canstill pull up the history codes on the computer. If it comes on I willknow it and once again, you are screwed.

12. Just because you fancy yourself a computer expert, don’t evenattempt to reprogram any of the computers. I’ll give you a terminalvirus.

13. The car is far more capable than you are. I’ve been to fourdifferent racing schools to learn how to drive it. How many have youbeen to?

14. Under no circumstances are you to test the limits of the car. Youwill reach yours far quicker than the car ever will. The engine redlines at 6000 rpm and shuts down. Keep it under 2000 rpm in 5th gearand 1500 rpm in 6th gear.

15. The after market Z06 intake manifold and racing injectors are formy personal use, not yours. Don’t be standing on the accelerator. (Seerule 2.)

16. The car can do 140 mph in 4th gear. You, on the other hand, cannot.The speedometer says 200. Don’t even think about it. Not even in yourwildest NASCAR dream do you come close to being Dale “The Intimidator”Earnhardt. This is a road car, not a “go fast, turn left” kind of car.

17. It is equipped with a traction control system. If it activates, youhave obviously made a serious error in judgment and violated rule 14above. You’d better hope I never find out about it.

18. It will be vacuumed and hand washed before you bring it back. Payparticular attention to the chrome wheels. Under no circumstances areyou to put it through a drive through car wash. It is too low, thewheels are too wide and the water pressure will force water under thetop into the interior. To do so is a certain slow and painful death.

19. Other Corvette drivers will wave out of respect when they see you.Always return the wave. Try to look like you own the car not justborrowing it and remember-the license plate (*******) is mine, notyours.

20. Beware the rice burner, the Dodge Neon, Ford Mustang, and theoccasional Camaro drivers. They will want to tempt and test you. DO NOTtake the bait! You have nothing at all you need to prove-at least notin MY car. (See rules 1, 2, 13, 14 and 16 above).

21. They put turn signals on cars for a reason. Use them. It’s not foryou. You know what you plan to do. It’s for all the othernon-clairvoyant drivers out there who have no clue and are trying toguess what your next move is.

22. Do NOT eat or drink in the car. There isn’t room enough in therefor an argument much less junk food and trust me, you WILL spillsomething.

23. Don’t screw with the settings on my Bose sound system or change thechannels on my radio. I don’t want to listen to that crap you callmusic. If you don’t like classical or county music, don’t turn thespeed controlled volume radio on at all.

24. FEAR THIS-If you trash my baby, not only will you buy me a brandnew one, but you will wish you were dead (and I may accommodate you).If you so much as scratch it, you may never walk again unassisted.

25. My daughter will ALWAYS be in the car with you and she tells meeverything. I like her even more than the car. You hurt her, I hurtyou. It’s that simple.

26. And one more thing, enjoy yourself. Have a good time. Do good! Don’t screw up. Save the wave.

 

hey corvette girl....thanks for asking; i was going to post this myself inquiring about the corvette commandments. bub

 

Redemption is only another mod party away

 

Ah, son say "Hail Corvette" three times and you shall be forgiven.

 

to borrow from the Transporter..


1. Respect a man’s car and he will respect you.
2. Greet the man.
3. Always wear your seat-belt.
4. Never make a promise you can not keep.