Just like the title says, stupid Corvette stories you've heard or maybe even told, I'll start.

I'm old enough to have been here when the 53 hit the streets. By the 1958 model this story was often told. "I saw a Corvette back into a utility pole last summer and the fender just bent in then popped right back in place when they pulled out." Followed by, "I saw this Corvette spin out on the ice last winter and it just barely touched a fire hydrant and the body just shattered into little pieces."

Now, lets hear your stupid Corvette stories.
Scott

 

I'm not that old, but I had a guy tell me (we're both in our mid 50's and he's a tree hugger type, drives a new VW bug), that when he was in college a guy in a Corvette backed into a beetle, didn't do any damage to the beetle, but the body of the Corvette shattered and fell off the frame in pieces......I said "Yea, I'm sure that happened."

 

I am sure we have all heard the one about the Ad in the paper for a 1963 Chevrolet for sale and when the person called about it a little old lady answered and said yes it has been in the shad since her son went off to Vietnam were he was killed in action. When the buyer got there it turned out to be a '63 split window and they were only asking some small price for it which will very from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars. I think I have heard that at least a dozen time. Normally at a car show someone will stop to look over my car and tell me about a friend of a friend that has this great '63 Corvette and that is how they found it.

 

Yup, I've heard that one too. Had a guy tell me the same story....Where is this car, Who has it? Never can come up with a name. The one I heard said it was a 65 FI coupe.

 

Not Corvette but similar. Was at the beach in 1970. Two girls were in a Nova at the intersection. Two guys in a GTO with the rubber front bumper wanted to inpress them. The driver slowly drove into their passenger door which horified the girls. The driver leaned out the window and said "don't worry my bumper is rubber". You could see and hear the Nova sheet metal cave in. The police showed up shortly. I witnessed the whole thing. Can't fix stupid coupled with beer.

 

The story about the 63 Sting Ray that was for sale on a used car lot. The car only had a few hundred miles on it and they only wanted $500.00 for it. The guy that owned it had died and was in it for a couple of weeks dead and they couldn't get the smell out of it.

 

I got a couple true stories....


So I was at a local car show. An older gentleman with gold chains, shirt hanging open (really tacky, greasy looking etc..) came up to me and my friends hanging out. He looked over our cars and said they are really nice. He proceeded to tell me that C5's and C6's but would never get one because his C4 has soooo much MORE foot well space...

A friend of mine beside me turned around and walked away laughing his azz off. I just smiled and tried to be nice...

He continued to tell us that he owns a 93 commemorative edition C4 (40th anniversary). I said to him that that is a nice car. I wanted to see it and asked him where it was parked. He said on the other side of the lot. He then proceeded to tell me that he has over 2000 man hours in maintaining it. Changes the oil, coolant, tranny, etc etc etc MONTHLY ! I said it seems like a waste doing it that often. He said nothing is too good for his Corvette.

He then told me that he has had his car 180MPH and he was scared so he backed off on it. He said it was BEGGING for more though. Easily a 200MPH car he told me. That's been a running joke with me and my friends for years now...

Within 5 mins of him waking away, my friends and I went to see his 93. There were no 40th anniversary cars at the show at all...

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I also had another guy at a car show tell me that he has well over 500HP in his Car. I asked him what did he Dyno. He said he has not had it dyno'd yet. I asked him how he knew he had 500HP+. He said he added up all the Manufactures claims of the parts he added. 40+ for the headers, 40+ for the intake, etc...etc...etc....

I tried to be nice about it but I had to tell him it does not work like that at all. He sounded disappointed and I don't think he believed me...

Toque

 

Was told if I bought one, would have to tuck my ____ in my sock and all the chicks would mob me.

Really, that's what I was told...

 

 

Maybe you haven't head this one"this married dentist ran off with his youg dental assistant and after a period of time contacted his wife and told her to sell his corvette and send him the money.I wander how he felt when she sold it for a $100 and sent it to him???
FRED

 

I have a couple...
About 6 years ago when I had my 3000GT, one of my friend's little high schooler sister asked me if it was a Corvette. I told her it was a special edition Corvette and they only made 3000 of them.....She believed me
My 2nd story took place last summer, 3 days after I bought my car. I was in the left lane just minding my own business and some kid pulled out of a side street, cut through the right lane, and crashes right into me. I was breaking one of my rules about having drinks in the car (but it was like 90 degrees that day) and I got iced coffee all over me and the interior of the car. We get out of the cars and I go over and ask if everyone is okay, his first response was "did you spill your drink?" Then, as we were waiting for the police to get there he turns to me and asks "what kind of car is that?" Later when I got the police report to send to his insurance I found out that he literally had his license for less than 5 weeks. $5300 worth of damage and the car was in the shop for 3 weeks (which sucked cause I only had it for 3 days, and summer was coming to an end).
Needless to say I need to bring the car back to the dealership that did the repair because the paint has a spot that flaked off on the bottom of the fender and they guarantee their work for the life of the car.

But seriously, what's with high school kids not knowing what a Corvette looks like?

 

Exactly why i dont do car shows they drive me crazy. I used to have a pro-steet 68 hemi gtx and i think i did 3 or 4 car shows with that car, it was a numbers matching car but it was wheel tubed and i would have at least 2 or 3 retards who would tell me the car was not a real hemi car but had no idea were to look for the numbers . They just wanted something negitive to say

Steve

 

Hey Bub, I'm that guy. Jeez...I don't know why you don't beleive what I tell ya. Wanna buy a watch? maybe a chain? or take a look at this 1983 Corvette. Bought it from Harley Earl Jr. See that crossfire injection, huh? You'll never see that anywhere else.

Speakin' of footwell space in C4, I passed out in my C4 in front of a bar one night and woke up the next morning wrapped in white cloth strips with a bejeweled pharoah hat on my head. Seriously, it really happened.

 

This story has floated around so often the the guys from Mythbusters did a show on it. They bought a Vette then sealed a dead pig inside the car and then sealed it inside a shipping container. When they opened it the car was useless. They finally sold it to a company that planed to part it out.
Scott

 

my true story:

a friend and fellow member of my car club (non vette specific although we do have a good number of corvette owner members) has a 1967 4 speed cpe with a/c and california smog fittings. it is a bloomington gold survivor with all the paperwork and documentation, etc and i believe only 1 of about 100 fitted out this way in 67. we were hanging out at our local friday evening cruise in as a club and of course the smart as** from the local corvette club come wondering over to see the car and look it over. the owner had taken a walk around the show area so he wasn't there, when one of the local corvette club "experts" starts pointing out what's not "correct" on the car to his several buddies that followed him over to see the car. after a few minutes of that conversation, he turns to the group of us seated next to the car and asks if it's one of our cars, to which i reply no, but i do know something about the car and i'd be more than happy to try to help him. he asks some dumb question (which for the life of me i can;t remember), but my response was that the car was a bloomington gold car and all the documentation was in the rear if he wanted to look through the glass. after he picked up his chin off the ground, and his "friends" got done abusing him for all the "wrong" things he had pointed out to them, he kind of sulked away. BTW this was a couple of years ago, and we haven't seen him back in our area again since then, lol!!

 

While not a stupid story, but a real one. I worked at the local Pillsbury Mills for several years. Back in the late 70s one of my buddies got into buying and fixing up some old Chevys. I even helped him find a couple. He had a 58 Impala almost done and there was a 58 Chevy advertised in the local paper, under $500, don't remember the exact number, but Herbie came to work the next day all excited. He told me he had found a 58 convertible, and told me what he bought it for, I told him he was a fool, untill I saw the car. This was in the very late 80's, this car did belong to a Vietnam War casulty. The car was in a garage in an older part of town, that was literly falling down. The top was rotted as was all the interior, windsheild was cracked from stuff falling on it. Herbie started buying some things to refurbish the car, and then we got the news that they were shutting down the plant. So he had a guy throw a cheap paint job on it, screwed it up real bad, still that way today. The car has many boxes full of crap on it, but he won't sell it. I offered to buy it 10 years ago, but he knows what it's worth now. It's a shame he don't do nothing with it. 85 percent of the guys that lost their jobs in 90/91 when the plant closed never recouped. I was a lucky one, and landed a decent paying job. Some are just making what we did back then.

 

On the 1997 Hot Rod Powertour with my 1995 Z28 I approached a guy sitting in one of the first C5s I had ever gotten up close to in my life.

I asked him what the horsepower rating was on the engine.

His reply - "go look it up in a magazine"

What a *****.

 

Years ago I went with a friend to a cruise night up in central Cal in his '98 vert. As we were backing in to a parking spot, next to an older 60s Ferrari(if memory serves me correctly, I think it was a GT California; you know like the one from Ferris Bueller), the owner of the Ferrari says in a low tone to his buddy..."those are a dime a dozen; just another corvette."

Whether we were intended to hear this or not, I'm not sure. But what transpired next pretty much brought me to the floor. My friend, who doesn't take crap from anybody, and is a naturally very quick witted person, jumps out of his car, gives the Ferrari a quick glance over and looks at the guy and says..." very clean...is that a kit car?"

As I'm laughing my a$$ off, this guy turns noticeably angry, but all he can do is stumble over his words with a..."ah, err, umh..NO! Yea, nice snappy come back.

We just walked away as my friend gave him a final..."oh, my bad."

 

He probably did not know....


Thats Classic ! Love it !


Toque

 

I vote this as the best one so far!