This was just too good not to pass on.


AN ACTUAL CRAIG'SLIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 20XX-09-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 ..45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ...... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat
(I guess while he traced your number etc.)
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi

 

This is an ooooooold internet legend. It's fake. Read about it on snopes.

 

Probably should be in OT, but a funny store nonetheless.

 

That was awesome, the mommie part made me laugh my *** off.

 

All legends start with a true story and get better each time they are told.

 

 

I've received that one as well several times in an e-mail.

 

I enjoy it every time I reads it.

 

Yeah, you're right. I should have checked it previously. But I never use Snopes to check anything. It's a mom and pop website, and the two owners are Obama supporters. A couple of liberals in S. California. If I want to check out something I prefer http://www.truthorfiction.com/. Yeah, the whole story was a bit far-fetched but I just thought it was funny as it sure wouldn't hurt to turn the tables on these low-lifes in socieity. I'd especially like it to happen to the guy who stole Arun's car and truck.

 

This is old, but I think can be appreciated...