My daughter and I like to go roaching in the corvette late at night (we call it roaching because roaches skitter around in the dark). We ride around for a while with no place to go. Its kind of our thing.

Anyway, its a beautiful night. The top is down. Johnny Cash and Social Distortion are sharing time on the radio with Post Malone (My daughter's current favorite) and Lana Del Rey when, as I pull up to a stop light, I hear it behind me...

FRRRRRAAAAAAA...WHINE...PSHHHHH. FRRRABABABA...WHIIINE....PSSSSHHHH.

Of course...i knew from the sound what it would be. Some little Fwd 4-banger. Probably fairly quick...driven by some skinny little douchebag who is, at that moment, feeling a stirring in his pants at the thought of racing the black C5 he sees up ahead.

I usually completely ignore these guys. They might have something to prove, but I don't...so I just prepare for the usual rev-fest followed by the front tire chirp when the light turns green and I watch the disappear in the distance.

Much to my surprise, what pulls up next to me is a VW golf that looks like it's being held together with baling wire, zip ties, and wishes. It looks like someone had given the owner a 1,000 dollar check, a JC whitney catalog, and directions to the nearest Auto Zone.

It appeared that the owner had decided to cover up the general sad state of the car with stickers and LED lights.

Naturally, he starts acting like a douche as soon as he pulls up next ro me. With the revving and that stupid wastegate sound going on and the creeping into the intersection.

Perhaps it was immature of me...but I know the road well. There were no other cars (except for the ones behind us) and I just couldn't let this happen, but i wasn't gonna let it end quickly.

The light turned green and it was on. His entire car shook and rattled as he hit the gas...so I just paced him. He shifted into second...then third....I'm still in first gear and just hanging out next to him. Right about that time , I'm in the Vette's sweet spot so I just stab the gas and gain a car length on him instantly...then shift into second and lift so he catches up...then I stab the gas again and fall back next to him and just pace him. Finally, he lifts (no biggie...we were only doing like 55 in a 45). We get to another redlight and he gets in the left turn lane. I look over and yell "were you trying to race me?" Mercifully (for him) his light turned green.

I then turned to my daughter, who was laughing uncontrollably, and said "Your dad is an idiot and should know better." To which she replied "yeah, you hypocrite...do as you say, not as you do."

Anyway, it's fun humiliating the really annoying ones.

 

Nice story. I enjoy having extra horsepower to humble people quickly. Knowing the time and place is key. Hope you and your daughter enjoy those rides for many years to come.

 

But today at Autozone the kid is bragging how he paced you through third and if the light had been green instead of red blah blah blah...

 

What is "lifts"???

 

Lifts his foot off the gas.

 

A couple of weeks ago, a Chrysler 300 took off at the light and got ahead of me before the road merged. Then when we got to the right hand turn lane, I got next to him. He looked so excited and gave me a big thumbs up. I think he thought we were racing.

Oh...and Social Distortion!

One of my favorite bands.

 

These days "a little Fwd 4-banger" can sometimes smoke a stock C5. For instance, my 2.0L Talon could leave my near stock 2002 in the dust and could give my 620 hp 99 a run for it's money (till triple speeds).
You tell the story well, drew me in. I could picture the VW Golf in detail.

Probably

 

Good times. Time and place with common sense for everything. Always enjoy the times with your kids.

I jokingly wasted a smart car a while back lmao.

 

Yes, someone in a beat up Scion XB, they were giving it all it had and I was driving gentle.

Was laughing and wondering why they were trying so hard, so pressed throttle maybe 1/2 and quickly gained a car or so length then let it coast.

They went flying by still at WOT.

I'm sure they thought they won.

Or maybe they just want to see a Corvette get after it?

 

Nice story and great that you could share moments with your daughter, but just be careful out there - street racing can be dangerous even if it seems like all is OK.

 

I know with my luck that kid would have probably took off, squealing his tires, then lose control and slide right into me before we hit 20 mph.

 

That's why it's safer to dust those goofballs.

 

I have a very fast vette. I am a professioal driver. I race my vette I can't take my vette out on a public street and not
be challenged to race I NEVER race on the street, no matter how tempting it may be. There are race tracks built
for racers. Most of you guys have stock vette's not race cars. These days there are alot of inexperienced drivers
on the road some have insurance ,some not. On the track you have certain contained variables on the street you
have a multitude of variables that can happen in a split secound. The road may be clear to you but 50 yards down the
road a kid could be playing or a animal could be crossing the road, a drunk driver is coming up the road in your lane
with his lights out......you get the picture.A lot of unknown variables. Don't be the immature guy who does not think.
If you have a fast vette there is nothing to prove. If you love your daughter let her watch you at the track, not
showing off on a public street.
Good luck.

 

The Risks usually are not worth wasting my time on such, but blasting by them at the limit down the road so they can hear the exhaust

 

Not much I can say other than "you're right." You're never to old for an education. Thank you for putting it succinctly.

 

While I do NOT consider myself a street racer by any stretch of the imagination, there is a **** ton of plastic bubble syndrome in your long paragraph.

Like I said before, there's a time and a place and common sense judgment that you as a driver must have. Most of that is looking out for those that don't.

 

 

What's plastic bubble syndrome?

 

It's living your life assuming EVERY 50 feet down the road, there's a HUGE threat to your life, therefore you don't drive over 35 MPH, wear a helmet and knee pads, even while walking around the supermarket, never change your own light bulbs, call an electrician, etc.....

 

I guess ............You just can't teach common sense to a "grown up".
Good luck..I hope your daughter had her safety belt on.