Dealing with rudeness
Thread Starter
Burning Brakes
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,168
Likes: 137
From: California
Dealing with rudeness
Sorry - need to vent for a few minutes.
Went to a family function yesterday. Arrived in my 2016 Z51. Family knows I'm a car nut, people were commenting how nice it was, and asking questions about it. So I'm going around the room, talk to another family member who was bragging about how successful she is, and I'm patiently listening, and being agreeable. Her organization buys her a new car every 2 years (gov't, seems ridiculous as she never drives anyone around in her job) and she was complaining about not being able to find the right color last time around for her Lexus RC and could only get horrible white (my vette is white). And she's starting to get bored with the Lexus.
I say - hey, why don't you test drive a vette? She said - "oh no, that's too flashy / show-off'y for me".
I responded somewhat annoyed saying - you don't drive it for how it looks, you drive it for the experience. I really wanted to deck her.
Just left a bad taste in my mouth. Why do people have to be like that?
Went to a family function yesterday. Arrived in my 2016 Z51. Family knows I'm a car nut, people were commenting how nice it was, and asking questions about it. So I'm going around the room, talk to another family member who was bragging about how successful she is, and I'm patiently listening, and being agreeable. Her organization buys her a new car every 2 years (gov't, seems ridiculous as she never drives anyone around in her job) and she was complaining about not being able to find the right color last time around for her Lexus RC and could only get horrible white (my vette is white). And she's starting to get bored with the Lexus.
I say - hey, why don't you test drive a vette? She said - "oh no, that's too flashy / show-off'y for me".
I responded somewhat annoyed saying - you don't drive it for how it looks, you drive it for the experience. I really wanted to deck her.
Just left a bad taste in my mouth. Why do people have to be like that?
Popular Reply
Dec 17, 2017, 10:29 AM
Team Owner
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 45,269
Likes: 8,543
From: Rochester, NY
Well probably in the minority on this but I do not think she was being rude. You asked her a question and she gave you her honest response, too flashy for her. No big deal. Corvettes are not for everyones taste.
Pro
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 518
Likes: 184
From: Machesney Park IL
Sounds like you are overly defensive. Unless I am missing something, she gave you a valid reason as to why she would not want one for herself and personal opinion of a car
and color is a valid reason.
Did she at any time put your Vette down directly and tell you how wrong you were for it?
and color is a valid reason.
Did she at any time put your Vette down directly and tell you how wrong you were for it?
Race Director
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 15,197
Likes: 1,006
From: BOOMER SOONER
I didn't realize the govt bought cars for employees? Maybe i need to have a talk with my boss.
I think in the future you should keep all conversation with this family member at a minimum. Some people just rub others the wrong way and that's what it sounds like in this case. She may not have meant to be like that, or maybe she did, i really wouldn't know but the last thing you would want to do is act on your urge there.
I think in the future you should keep all conversation with this family member at a minimum. Some people just rub others the wrong way and that's what it sounds like in this case. She may not have meant to be like that, or maybe she did, i really wouldn't know but the last thing you would want to do is act on your urge there.
Team Owner
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 45,269
Likes: 8,543
From: Rochester, NY
Well probably in the minority on this but I do not think she was being rude. You asked her a question and she gave you her honest response, too flashy for her. No big deal. Corvettes are not for everyones taste.
Last edited by dvilin; Dec 17, 2017 at 10:31 AM.
Le Mans Master
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 9,163
Likes: 4,011
From: 2019 CMG Z06/ZR1
I can picture this conservation because I have a family member just like yours. I deal with it by limiting my interaction. On a side note, with state budgets in shambles, deficits all around, how are the free Lexus RCs flowing like wine?
Melting Slicks
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 2,762
Likes: 1,017
From: MOUNTAIN HOME Arkansas
From just your explanation, it seems you wanted/had to have 100% agreement that your car was awesome & you knew what was best. She (reading your post) simply said "not for her" & as others have said, since a government employee it would not be a practical choice in any scenario. Ask yourself if maybe it wasn't her acting like that, it could be how you came across discussing your car. I get it we all love "OUR" car ('16 M7 Z) but it certainly isn't for everyone & aren't we glad. We don't blend in like the camaros, Hondas, Ford whatever, etc.
Last edited by madrob2020; Dec 17, 2017 at 10:47 AM.
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Moderator emeritus
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From: Jacksonville Florida BWO Dayton, Cincinnati, Bloomsbury NJ, Cincinnati
2015 C7 of the Year Finalist
If it's free, color is not a requirement. She was just stroking her ego and had no room for sharing the moment.
Thread Starter
Burning Brakes
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,168
Likes: 137
From: California
I think we more react to "how" something is said than the "what" is said, which is hard to translate for external consumption. But admit I may have been over sensitive. This person is very successful, but it gets tiring hearing about it and having it be the only topic of conversation when I see them.
Anyways - I vented, I feel better
. Thanks for listening!
Anyways - I vented, I feel better
. Thanks for listening!
Last edited by harmonyp; Dec 17, 2017 at 11:00 AM.
Moderator emeritus
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From: Jacksonville Florida BWO Dayton, Cincinnati, Bloomsbury NJ, Cincinnati
2015 C7 of the Year Finalist
No problem, glad we could help. My normal fee for venting appreciation is a 6 pack of barley pop! But, since it's winter, this session was pro bono! 
Elmer
Elmer
Melting Slicks
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,615
Likes: 694
OP, in my opinion you have just described an insecure person.
Bragging - how successful she is.
Complaining - she only could get horrible white color car and couldn't get the color she wanted
Putting you down - she said Corvette is show-off'y for her and called your car color horrible since it is white.
I hear your frustration.
Bragging - how successful she is.
Complaining - she only could get horrible white color car and couldn't get the color she wanted
Putting you down - she said Corvette is show-off'y for her and called your car color horrible since it is white.
I hear your frustration.
Race Director
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 13,602
Likes: 12,865
From: Virginia
I wouldn't let it bother me. It's actually pretty reserved in comparison to some of the conflicts at my family functions -- 
Besides, some do buy Vettes for the FLASH / Look At ME aspect!
I have a friend where it's totally about that, except now he's moved on from Vettes now to Lambos.
Besides, some do buy Vettes for the FLASH / Look At ME aspect!
I have a friend where it's totally about that, except now he's moved on from Vettes now to Lambos.
Safety Car
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From: Monument CO
CORVETTE TODAY Show Host
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From: Kansas City, Missouri
CORVETTE TODAY Host
St. Jude Donor'15
Harmony, just consider the source and don't worry about it. If this female family member is getting bored with a Lexus RC, there's more here than meets the eye.
Plus, please understand that a Corvette IS flashy! And that's a good thing. Not everyone can pull off driving a Corvette and pull it off well. It seems like she's better off without a Corvette anyway!
Plus, please understand that a Corvette IS flashy! And that's a good thing. Not everyone can pull off driving a Corvette and pull it off well. It seems like she's better off without a Corvette anyway!
E-Ray, 3LZ, ZER, LIFT
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 34,982
Likes: 12,383
From: NE South Carolina
Most of my friends and family are not car buffs. They would not want to own a Vette. Not a good car for business. She probable dosn’t care about a “driving experience.” May care more about a comfortable ride and an interior where she can hear her phone calls. That is not a C7!
Gear heads and car buffs have to careful not to bore others with our passion.
Recall Jay Leno when he had the Tonight Show being asked why he doesn’t talk more about his cars. He said most of my audience doesn’t care!
Last edited by JerryU; Dec 17, 2017 at 04:10 PM.
Instructor
Joined: Jun 2017
Posts: 227
Likes: 43
From: Maple Valley Washington
My comment would be that sometimes 'being honest' is nothing more than veiled hostility. We all have times when we temper so called honesty with compassion. For example: if you have a friend who is over weight, do you say 'hey, you are fat, just being honest'. It costs nothing to be nice and to at least seem interested in something that maybe is not so interesting to you, but may mean alot to the other person. How to win freinds and influence people.
Last edited by Art17; Dec 17, 2017 at 12:30 PM.
