Great stuff.........enyoy !

Deer SaNta

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a
>> > gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy
>> >
>> > Dear Billy,
>> >
>> > Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn
>> > care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can
>> > learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother
>> > the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa
>> >
>> > ________________________________________ __________ _____
>> >
>> >
>> > Dear Santa,
>> >
>> > I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I
>> > ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
>> > Love, Sarah
>> >
>> > Dear Sarah,
>> >
>> > Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't
>> > they?
>> >
>> > Santa
>> >
>> > ________________________________________ __________ _____
>> >
>> >
>> > Dear Santa,
>> >
>> > I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas,
>> > I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together.
>> > Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy
>> > Dear Teddy,
>> >
>> > Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen
>> > door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that
>> > up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his
>> > *** constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let
>> > me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can
>> > build yourself a family with those? Santa
>> >
>> > ________________________________________ __________ ___
>> >
>> > Dear Santa,
>> >
>> > I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I.
>> > Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love,
>> > Francis
>> >
>> > Dear Francis,
>> >
>> > Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're
>> > gay.
>> >
>> > Santa
>> >
>> > ________________________________________ __________ ___
>> >
>> > Dear Santa,
>> >
>> > I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I
>> > left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
>> > Love, Susan
>> >
>> > Dear Susan,
>> >
>> > Milk gives me the ****s and carrots make the deer fart
>> > in my face when ridin g in the sleigh. You want to do
>> > me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam. Santa
>> >
>> > ________________________________________ __________ ___
>> >
>> > Dear Santa,
>> >
>> > What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you
>> > busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas
>> >
>> > Dear Thomas,
>> >
>> > All the toys are made by little kids like you in
>> > China. Every year I give them a slice of bread as a
>> > Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I
>> > spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I
>> > unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the
>> > asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the
>> > craps table. Santa P.S. Tell your mom she got the
>> > part. "Long Dong" Claus
>> >
>> > ________________________________________ __________ ___
>> >
>> > Dear Santa,
>> >
>> > Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know
>> > when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica
>> >
>> > Dear Jessica,
>> >
>> > Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever
>> > you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa
>> >
>> > ________________________________________ __________ __
>> >
>> > Dear Santa,
>> >
>> > I really really want a puppy this year. Please please
>> > please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy
>> >
>> > Timmy,
>> >
>> > That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but
>> > that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly
>> > sweater again. Santa
>> >
>> > ________________________________________ __________ ___
>> >
>> > Dearest Santa,
>> >
>> > We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get
>> > into our home? Love, Marky
>> >
>> > Mark,
>> >
>> > First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why
>> > you're getting your *** kicked at school. Second, you
>> > don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto
>> > apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just
>> > like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
>> > Sweet Dreams, Santa

 

Ok....so Big_ Red is actually Santa?

 

I thought I smelt something bad when I signed on here today!

Where have you been BR? Been kinda quiet around here without you!

 

OMG !! Dont tell me you actually missed me?

 

Yes I did, with every bullet apparantly!!

 

I'll let you use my glasses next time around.

 

Thanks! I hate wasting perfectly good ammunition.

 

Now boys Play nice

 

That WAS nice considering what they've said to each other in the past.

 

That's all you've guys got?

It must be a Christmas truce!!!

 

Its Snoopy and the Red Baron all over again

 

It's a Festivus miracle!!!!!!

 

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh HELL NO!