HICKBONICS

The Association of Southern Schools decided to designate Southern slang, or
Hickbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools, thus
qualifying for federal funding. A speaker of Hickbonics would henceforth be
referred to as a Hick-o-phone. The following are excerpts from the
Hickbonics/English dictionary, U of Jacksonville Press

Heidi (noun) - Greeting.

Hire Yew - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, Hire
yew?"

Bard (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother
bard my pickup."

Jawjuh (noun) - The State north of Flurida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My
brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup."

Bammer (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage: "A
tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

Munts (noun) - A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my
pickup, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

Bare (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage:
"Ah'll have a bare."

Thank (verb) - Ability to cognitively process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a
bare."

Ignert (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage: "Them Bammer
boys sure are ignert!"

Ranch (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I left my
ranch in the back of that pickup my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts
ago."

All (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother
from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup."

Far (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change
the all in my pickup, that thang's gonna catch far."

Tar (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from
Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup."

Tire (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' an' the creek don't
rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

Retard (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

Fat (noun, verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage:
"You younguns keep fat'n, 'n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."

Rats (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are
willin' to fat for are rats."

Farn (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstan a wurd he sed.
Must be from some farn country."

 

If you are going to live, or visit in the South, you need to know the rules. In an effort to help outsiders understand the rural Southerner's mind, the following list will be handed to each person as they enter a
Southern state.

1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it or get it out of the way.

3. The red dirt - it's called clay. Red clay. If you like the color, don't wash your car for a couple weeks - it'll be permanent. The big lumps of it - they're called "clods."

4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

5. Any references to 'corn fed' when talking about our women will get you whipped - by our women.

6. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for - bait.

7. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

8. Men, if you want to wear earrings, pierce your nose and whatevers, and wear your hair long, go right ahead - but if we call you ma'am, don't be offended.

9. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might want to ensure it's not up to your ear at the time.

10. That's right, whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.

11. No, there's no 'Vegetarian Special' on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

12. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is sweet. You want it hot - sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened - add a lot of water.

13. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

14. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combine that we only use two weeks a year.

15. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

16. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

17. We eat dinner together with our families, we pray before we eat (yeah, even breakfast), we go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays, we go to high school football games on Friday nights, we still address our
seniors with 'yes, sir' and 'yes, ma'am', and we sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see friends and neighbors.

18. We don't do 'hurry up' well.

19. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt on them. You boil them with either salty fatback or a ham hock.

20. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream, and carp, too. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

21. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 95 goes two ways - Interstate 40 goes the other two. Pick one.

22. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on them. You want to put milk and sugar on them, then you want cream of wheat - go to Kansas. That would be I-40 West.

23. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season or dove season. Both are holidays. You can get pancakes, cane syrup, and sausage before daylight at the church on either day.

24. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

25. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the gators - and if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called Diamondbacks, and they're not baseball players.

26. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot - his name is 'Sir,' no matter how old he is.

27. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood.

28. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislature - all 4 of them - enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $10 fine for beating up the flag
burner.

Now, enjoy your visit... I emphasize - 'visit.'

 

:lol: :lol:

 

Jacksonville.....Jacksonville Omelets ya slide THIS time
Jacksonville....Allybamy maybe

 

SO SO ture, both posts !!!

I'm transplanted from Chicago, Illinois, over 25 years now, and I still have trouble understanding some of the "locals".

I'll have to agree with most of the second post.

 

Ditto to Chicago
15 for me and I still say HUH a lot

 

Be careful, ... "huh" is a real word in South Carolina.

I'm not quite sure what it means, but I here it an awful lot, usually at the end of the sentence.

Kind of like the Canadian "Aye" !

 

The Canajun "Aye" is spelled "eh?" and is almost always followed by a question mark, eh? :lol:

The last time I saw the list offered in defence of the South, it was being offered in defence of Texas! Not a juxtaposition which normally comes to mind... :eek:

What I'd like to see is a dictionary of Newfybonics. Newfoundland, one of the provinces of Canajun Land, has some of the most unique accents and idiomatic expressions I've ever heard. They make the drawl of the South sound logical. Even people in the neighboring provinces can't understand half of what they say. For a while, there was a television commercial with an actor speaking in a strong Newfy accent and it was subtitled like a foreign film!

 

Born, raised, and still living in Georgia. I resemble some of those remarks :D

Want to add a few ?

Haint - An appirition or ghost like being. As in - "Ain't no haint gonna run me off "

Dinner - The noontime meal. (This really dates back to the 19th century when the meals were referred to this way). (True story - I went into the local cafe today at 11:50 am. It's been in business since the 1950's. They asked if I wanted to see the dinner menu).

Supper - The evening meal.

Fixin - As in - I am fixin to go to town.

We buy our liquor by the gallon from the mountain boys. $10.00 gallon and can be substituted as a fire starter or to boost gasoline octane :lol:


[Modified by Grey Ghost, 8:31 PM 6/18/2002]

 

Your speaking my language Grey Ghost!
Born in Blountstown, Florida - Calhoun County - 5th gen.
right on the Apalachicola river
Mac, I sound just like that! :yesnod:

 

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

To quote me Newfy brudders, "Lord Thundern Chaises, buys! I haint heared such talk in years! Stay where yer at and I'll come where yer to, ol' duck!"