bbudman

In June of 2010 I lost my father to heart failure. My father knew he was dying and refused to allow anyone to come in and help him so I took a leave of absense from work and was by his side when he passed away. One of the things he asked of me was that I would care for my mother after he was gone.

I honored his wishes and my wife and I moved my mother in with us. She has suffered in so many ways over the years, rumatory arthritis, heart bypass surgery, heart valve replacement, hip replacement, and lung cancer. Last month her health really started to decline and she was taken to the hospital only to find out that her lung cancer has returned and due to her age and condition there is nothing that can be done other than to try and comfort her until she passes.

On Saturday I really started seeing the decline and she has stopped eating and only sleeping. On Sunday we had to start giving her morphine due to the discomfort of not being able to breathe. On Sunday we told one another we loved each other and she has not spoken since. I know it is now only a matter of time and I am heart broken. I knew this day would come and I am trying really hard to keep it together for her sake.

I also would like to mention that my wife has been wonderful through everything. She has given up almost two years of her life to help me in caring for my mother and I don't know what I would have done without her.

DonOH

My sympathies for your poor mother's suffering. I'm sure she appreciates the comfort and support you've given her these years.

That must be so hard to witness. My mother died suddenly and my Dad had been ill for some time but not to the point we expected him to pass so we didn't see their pain. You hate to see them suffer but you hate to lose them. There is no good way other than to be there by their side so they aren't alone.

My thoughts are with you.

mrmtrtrnd

I'm so very sorry to hear about your Mother and all the suffering she has been through. My wife and I went through much the same thing with my Father-in law last year. It was hard to see a once big strong man wither and die as he did. Those of us in the family that miss him so much took comfort in knowing he is not suffering now and in a much better place. The pain and loneliness of missing a loved one is ever present at first but does get better over time. My Father-in-law lives on in our hearts and minds as your Mother will when she is gone. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Martha39

My sympathies for your poor mother's suffering. I'm sure she appreciates the comfort and support you've given her these years.

Mickeyrx70

It's been 3 years since my mother died after a long illness. I stayed with her the last 2 years of her life and enjoyed caring for her but hated to see her deteriorate. It's tough on everybody. Your Mom must be a wonderful Mother to have such a loving and devoted son as you. You have my most sincere sympathy.

WICKEDFRC

Thank you for sharing such a difficult and personal struggle coping with the inevitable. As the previous posters mentioned, its never an easy thing to accept the unfortunate reality of life's challenges. I am most certain you and your family can be proud that you honored your Fathers wishes and rook great care of your Mother as he requested. In the final days, I have no doubt that you are once again by the side of a family member who needs your love and support the most.

Thank you for sharing your family situation. No doubt, it is a humbling reminder that life is precious, and life is short.

Like you, I am in the same situation but unfortunately, I do not have the luxury of having my Mother with me in her final days.....nor do I have a final say in where I am assigned. I envy your family closeness and wish I could be there for my Mom as much as you are.

Thoughts and prayers for your Mom.

rebelee08

I know just how hard this is for you. Rejoice in the good times, rejoice about the wonderful woman she is. I know how hard it has been for you and your family and I commend you for your compassion and dedication to your mother. Be grateful for the time you have had with your Mom it is so precious.
I lost my mom when I was just 20. I have spent my entire adult life without my mother. When I lost my mom I was a new wife, new mother and only 20 years old. Being a woman it has been incredibly hard to go through life without my mother. My mom did get to meet my son but never my daughter. I take comfort in knowing that she is my guardian angel and smiling down at what a beautiful young woman my daughter has become even though she never met her namesake. I also take comfort in knowing that my mother is with our savior and will be waiting for us when we arrive home. I pray for your comfort and peace at this time and I pray that your mom feels only peace and no pain. God bless

bbudman

Thank you so much for the kind words of support and for all the prayers. My mother passed away this morning at 7:00am.

SLO VETTE

May she be at peace.

MGP1

Our condolences.......

ZR-71

Very sorry for your loss

GottahavaVette

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I went through a similar situation with my mom several years ago. It hurt then (and still does, to a lesser degree), but it was also a relief to know that she was no longer in so much pain.

bbudman

One of the fondest memories I will always keep with me was my mothers eyes when she saw my 2011 Grand Sport. She told me that it was the most beautiful car that she had ever seen and was so excited to go for a ride. I took her for a drive through the country and you could just see the excitement in her face. She wanted so badly to drive it! My mother was so proud of my wife and I, mainly because we had reached a point in our lives where we could afford to do whatever we wanted. Even as sick as she was she made it a habit to tell all of the hospice caregivers about my car and that I had taken her for a ride in it!

On a side note, I would also like to thank all of the wonderful people that came out and cared for my mother during this difficult time. They treated her with such respect at all times before as well as after she had passed. I take comfort in knowing that she did not suffer any longer and I know she is with my father and for the first time is over twenty years she is once again walking by his side.

JoesC5

I know how you feel. My mother(89 YO) will be taken from the hospital to hospice tomorrow. Her doctor said she will most likely pass within the next week or two.

bbudman

Take as much time as you possibly can to spend with her because although it may not seem as so but your mother will know that you are there and she will be able to hear your voice. Late last night just hours before my mother passed my wife played her favorite hymn called Ivory Palaces and even in her weakened and drug induced state, she still heard it and tried to sing along. It was such a wonderful thing to see.

BlackFya

Brother you will be in my prayers as I went thru the same thing this past october with my mother. I lost my old man in 2007. I cannot express how much my heart goes out to you. This is not easy to deal with. I am still finding ways to cope. Try to focus on the good memories and all she taught you. Even though she isnt talking, she can still hear you. Tell her how you feel and what she has meant to you and your family. Comfort her by assuring her that she is still needed and that she was a wonderful woman. God bless, bro and i''m here if you need to chat.

murf257

I lost my dad at an age of 61 and felt devistated as it was sudden and I couldn't express any of my feelings! I had freinds at work almost at the same time whose dad was going through cancer. To this day I don't know who felt worse; me with NO chance to say goodbye or my co-worker who had to witness his dad go through the side effects of chemo and watch his dad become totally unable to care for himeself.

This thread isn't about me; its about U and your family!

First and foremost, I am truly sorry for your loss.

Secondly, you sir have a wonderful wife......please don't ever take her for granted!

When the time comes...........its always difficult........but time truly does help heal wounds.

You should never forget mom, because w/o her you wouldn't be around.

Remember the good times and talk to your family often about those times.

Remind everyone how specialy your mom was!

She will be proud of you!

God Bless!

rebelee08

bbudman I am so sorry for your loss, it is only hard on those that are left behind. Your mother is in no more pain, she is young and healthy and I bet she is just beautiful!
Thank you for sharing that beautiful story of playing that song to your mom. A friend of mine that is a hospice nurse shared several stories about people when they passed talking about the angels and the beautiful music. There is no doubt in my mind that we are going to a beautiful place.
JoeC, spend as much of this precious time as you can with your Mom. It is so hard to lose a parent especially to a terminal disease. I wished that I had the faith in our Lord that I have today when my mother passed 30 years ago. It is never easy no matter what age you are.
God bless

Translator

So sorry to hear that. She is now reunited with your father. God bless them.

Gerdia

May your mother be at rest in the hands of God, free of pain, free of suffering. And my the lord comfort you and your family in this difficult time.