Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition NoVa dolls for the Northern Virginia market:

McLean Barbie:

This princess Barbie is only sold at Neiman' s in Tysons II. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

Falls Church Barbie:

This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone included, headset sold separately.

Manassas Barbie:

This recently paroled former "**** Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a home methlab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Great Falls Barbie:

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit cards, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. If you have to ask the price, you won't be able to afford any of them.

Woodbridge Barbie:

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Sterling Barbie:

This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the McMansion. Percocet or valium prescription option available.

Leesburg Barbie:

This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Fontana Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.

North Arlington Barbie:

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but you if purchase two North Arlington Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

South Arlington Barbie:

This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a paint-bucket lunch pail. Green cards are not available for South Arlington Barbie or Ken.

 

:thumbs:

 

That is F***king Hillarious :lol: :lol:

 

NOVA barbie, has to work 3 jobs and dress in old jeans to support husbands ZR1 habit.

too funny.

DC barbie, build clapped out c4 (mid 80s) to escape cross fire from crack dealers

southern Md barbie. buys a chevette, thinks it's a vette, and runs 18s at MIR to annoy the real racers with the turtle power.

can go on and on for this one!!! :rofl:

 

:lol: That is pretty good. Reminds me again why I don't want to live here forever!

 

This is great. I'll wait for the Herndon Barbie and hope it comes with 7-11 store to go with Kenito the 'Day Worker' doll, and the 'Community Patrol' cruiser car. :yesnod: :yesnod: :yesnod:


[Modified by JohnnyO, 12:48 PM 1/23/2004]

 

:lolg: :lolg: :lolg: :lolg: :lolg: :lolg:

 

:lolg: :lolg: :lolg:

 

:lolg:

What about Purcellville barbie?

 

The reason the Purcellville barbie was omitted is because this is a family web site.

:smash: :smash: :smash:

 

:lolg: :lolg: :lolg: :lolg: :lolg: :lolg:

 

I need to hear about the Fairfax Barbie--lol, that is great...because it suits everyone I know who lives in those areas :yesnod: :lol:

 

:D

 

Hey people, we should do trivia night next week. :cheers:

 

Yes we should, but it probably needs a new thread :)

Those DC barbies are hilarious. It's like 1/2 of them are straight trailor trash and the others are rich chicks. :lol: :lol:

Mike

 

True, I'll start one and actually get it out there with more than one day's notice this time. :D

Edit - Sorry to hijack your thread, Crispy. I'll go and start my own, now. :leaving:


[Modified by CSC5, 11:04 AM 1/27/2004]

 

I gotta get my vette running right before Hooters :eek: