I just saw the midnight showing and it was AWSOME! Total non-stop GM action. Oh and there are more Ford decepticons that get thier *** handed to them!

 

(CNN) -- "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" -- the most terrible revenge since Montezuma's -- is louder, longer and lamer than the 2007 hit it succeeds.
Both Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox run away a lot in new "Transformers" -- she in slow motion, says Tom Charity.

Both Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox run away a lot in new "Transformers" -- she in slow motion, says Tom Charity.
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Which is saying a lot.

Long story short: The Decepticons are back, fixed on destroying Sam (Shia LaBeouf), Optimus Prime and the Earth, in that order.

Produced by Hasbro -- the accompanying trailer for "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" suggests that the company's not-exactly-subtle strategy is to mass market war toys for boys -- "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is a grotesque exercise in hyperinflation. At 149 minutes, it's longer than "2001," "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" or "Star Wars." In fact, this may be the emptiest epic ever made.

Director Michael Bay is famous for blowing things up, but you could invade a small country with less firepower than he expends on this extended-length commercial.

For all his sound and fury, Bay isn't much of an action director. There's no rhythm in his slam-bang cutting, no discipline in his orientation, and there's so little to distinguish an Autobot (the good Transformers) from a Decepticon (the bad) that at any given moment, it's a toss-up who is pulverizing who. A guide to the Transformers »

Combat scenes are a bewildering blur of crunching metal. On top of that, the humans are essentially bystanders and onlookers here, so that LaBeouf's primary contribution to the fighting is to run away, duck and cover. It's the same deal for Megan Fox, only in lingering slow motion.

The Defense Department does get the opportunity to show off its hardware, even if most of the missile strikes fall wide of the mark -- probably because there aren't enough Decepticons to sustain heavy losses. If he ever needs another job, Bay should consider a move into arms procurement.

At least the nonstop carnage is on a scale to satisfy the demolition derby crowd, down to destroying one of the Seven Wonders of the World. The effects work is mostly rock-solid, and the Transformers themselves have a chromatic showroom gleam. As a kind of 21st-century Mechano movie, it could have hit the right buttons.
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It's not the extravagant fireworks display that rankles, it's everything else: the dull and pompous exposition, the trite characterizations, the tacky love story, the dismal comic relief and incongruous pretensions to the status of a popcorn epic.

Here's a sample of what Bay throws at the wall in the hope of generating some stray laughs: small dogs humping. Hysterical middle-aged women. Autobots with effeminate voices. A miniature Decepticon dry-humping Fox's leg. John Turturro improvising. Tasers. A cowardly Latino. A short Arab. Snails.

None of these things is funny. Not in this movie, anyway.

The truth is, Bay is a rotten fit for this assignment; he's much too self-important to recalibrate his approach for the younger audience this material demands.

Memo to Michael: It's a toy movie. Your audience is predominantly teen and pre-teen. My kids don't need to see your salivating soft-**** fantasies or your reactionary militaristic politics.
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Most of all, none of us needs to sit through 2½ hours of this inane and mind-numbing movie. Better it should be melted down for scrap.

 

Ouch....22% on RT:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/tran...of_the_fallen/

 

I want my click back, this was an exercise in

SR

 

actually, if you're in the LA area and wanted to catch the movie i would suggest the Arclight theaters in Hollywood. i went for the 12:30 showing and they had Optimus, Ironhide, Bumblebee and the C7 concept (forgot his name) in front of the theaters.

woud've snapped some pics but didn't have a camera with me.

 

Well despite what Matth3w said, i thought it was an awsome movie. Its not really any "better" than the original, but just as good. And the first one was good! I firmly believe that it is WELL worth seeing at least once!

The movie has everything, action, suspense, romance, and tons of comedy.

 

That CNN review is pure crap IMO. Completely hating on the movie. I don't see how any movie with Megan Fox would get a bad review...sheeesh.

 

Saw it again....amazing...so why cant i have that stingray concept?

 

I really should stop supporting Michael Bay films...at least with the first movie I was entertained, but this one...I can't help it...I had to see it.. it's relevant to my work... but I want my time back - all 2h 40m of it.

 

havent watched it yet but loooking forward to it
i heard good things about from friends that have seen it
so we will see

 

I saw it yesterday, I was not impressed it's like a "Rocky 7". Megatron got away...he'll be back...another source of energy...


the girl looks good

 

"actually, if you're in the LA area and wanted to catch the movie i would suggest the Arclight theaters in Hollywood. i went for the 12:30 showing and they had Optimus, Ironhide, Bumblebee and the C7 concept (forgot his name) in front of the theaters.

woud've snapped some pics but didn't have a camera with me. "


I was there too I saw the 11:55 p.m. showing.. in the dome !! super sweet !!

CNN needs to stick to reporting the depressing news that is our world and let people enjoy this movie !!

I though it was pretty good, the action was intense and visually stunning.. and yeah there are some pretty lame moments that can turn you off.. but its a Micheal bay film . not shakespeare. Its definitely worth seeing .. and the lenght of the movie should not be a deterrent, it flys by !!


Oh and to be fair to the people that posted on here... .. try not to give away the ending.. the movie came yesterday .. !! GEESSS !!

 

I have seen it twice. I enjoyed it. Can't please everybody. That's for sure. As for the reviews..... If the reviewers hate it, then it is a must watch for me.

 

I'll do something this movie should done, make my point quickly.....

Tons of action.

GREAT computer graphics.

Maybe a little too sexy for the natural Saturday morning cartoon audience. Someone with little ones may be better judges of this.

Some good humor, not much story line.

Way to LLLLLLOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!! 2 1/2 hours of blurring action.

But that's just my opinion.

 

Agreed!

 

Despite all the negative reviews, I thoroughly enjoyed this flick. Might've been a little long but totally worth it

And lets not forget the commercials before the movie: "Avatar, The Last Air Bender" and "2012", cant wait!

 

They didnt play those at the theatre where i went. They played a few other clips of movies i didnt really seem interested in.