BUBBA, IF YOU AND LORLENE get divorced, are you still brother and sister.

 

That's pretty bad. Apparently, Bubba is alive and well working in a machine
shop in Manchester, NH. He sliced into one of my lower CA bushing
bores with a chisel. I had to weld it up and grind it back to new.
... last time I pay ANYONE to work on my car in ANY way.

 

Eddie,

i agree with majic. This one may be one of the best ever, thought the carpeting over of the clutch pedal when changed to auto was a close one.

 

Bubba, WTF were you thinking????????

 

while holding a baseball
I would ask Bubba if he could catch.

I would lob the ball straight up.

While he's looking up BLAM !!! overhand right into his jaw.

Now don't ever mess with my car again

3 bolts in each seat, missing screws for the dash and console, hose clamp and coat hanger holding radiator hose away from belt, plus many many more

Jeff

 

Bubba, what kind of knot did you use to anchor the seatbelts down, and why did you think that was more effective than bolting them in place?

 

I still have nightmares about the day I discovered this. I wanted to install missing seat back bezels ('72) when I discovered the original bezels still mounted to the original seat covers UNDER the new seat covers. Bottom covers were stretched around the bottom, then the tracks installed to hold them in place.
Oh...there are more things...but this was the most "Bubbafied" of them all....
Eddie

 

I would ask "Why is it when someone comes up with a remedy to fix a problem they think they are a genius, but when someone else get the car they think you (Bubba) worked on it?"

 

Bubba, Is there gasoline in that tank your welding on??

 

Bubba -
Why did you use a coat hanger to hold one of the front sway bar brackets in place.
Why did you use $5.00 in silicone to fill up the front spindle dust cover instead of spending $2.00 to replace it.
Why did you use silver latex paint for the rear leaf, differential, and half shafts.

There are many more but I start to get dizzy over all the stupid things that I had to encounter.

 

I never did have much Bubba stuff to deal with on the Orange Shark, because it was a very original car when I bought it. Even considering all the mods I've made over the years, I have been known to halt my project for a week or more at a time to make sure that I was doing it as if Zora himself was looking over my shoulder.

That said, I am an amateur wrench for two Porsches, one belonging to me and one belonging to a good friend. Both of these cars were previously maintained by the same guy, who shall remain nameless (because I don't know the German word for "Bubba"). My questions for him would be:

1. If your transmission bolts were too long for the application, why did you thread a couple of nuts all the way up to the head and have the whole assembly stick out? Why did you not (a) cut the bolts to a shorter length or (b) buy the right bolts in the first place? Isn't a transmission mounting bolt considered a critical drivetrain part?

2. If the clutch cable had too much play in it, why did you stack up about 10 washers against the sheath instead of properly adjusting the cable inside the sheath? (I may soon find out the answer when I try to reinstall that part.)

3. Why did you spend good money on a nice stereo front-end and use speakers that would embarrass the stingiest denizen of the cheesiest swap meet? For that matter, why was all the stereo wiring installed using vampire connectors?

4. Is there a reason why some of the bolts on my car are SAE and some of them are metric? Pick a team, please. I have two sets of tools... I just don't think it's necessary to use them both at the same time.

 

why did you smoothen out welds with caulking?
why did you fiberglass over the urethane front bumper?
why was all the smog equipment removed?

and...

did you eat lead paint when you were a kid?

 

Why did you have to marry my sister?

 

My question is: When you removed all my cotter pins why didn't you buy some at Home Depot when you got all the wrong sized nails?

I got to ask my uncle this one. Why are there bungy cords holding up your steering column?
His response: Pantyhose wont hold.

 

"Does that hammer and screwdriver ever wear out?"

 

What a great trick....

 

Bubba: Where's my original engine?

 

Only one question...

WHYYYYYYYYYYY?????????

 

Why did you cut the sholder harnesses?
Why did you swap the seats when you put in new carpet, (passenger and driver, wrong color carpet), and how the hell did you bolt in the passenger seat?
Oh yea why didn't you put the A/C back when you swapped the engine?

 

Bubba, your book on fix it tricks for a c3 was great, when are you coming out with your, A Dummy's guide to c4 repair? Also, Can I pre-order?