just venting
Thread Starter
Burning Brakes
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 841
Likes: 0
From: High Desert California
just venting
I have this friend whom I have helped in so many ways and in so many times. Even had him and his GF stay at my house for free (including food) for 2 months. I even help him establish his credit. He got on his feet and to make a long story short, now he has his own home 2 brand new cars and recently bought a C4. In the past, I gave him lots of stuff, mostly mechanical parts, even a motor. He sent me an email asking if I was interested in buying his car 1984 C4 for $4000. I passed on it and wished him luck. Today, I got an email from him again, this time selling enkie rims w/tires which I found that the C4 came with an extra set of rims/tires. I passed on it (even though I kinda like those rims). After all I have done for this guy, wouldn't it be nice for him to offer the rims/tires for free???? He has no other cars that he can use them for. I don't know, maybe it's just me. When it comes to friends and I have something they need that I apparently have no use for - I'll give it away. Heck, I give away parts to total strangers. Again, as long as I have no use for it, why not. Sorry for venting guys.
Thread Starter
Burning Brakes
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 841
Likes: 0
From: High Desert California
I apologize if I have posted this in the wrong section. This is the first time that I have posted something to this effect. It just so happen that I have noticed (OT) topics here which prompted me to post. Perhaps it's the specific people here at C3 that others are at ease with rather than posting at OT and get obnoxious remarks.
Drifting
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,725
Likes: 0
From: Hanover Maryland
You will never know if you don't ask! He may not think like you or I and may have short term memory loss for all you have done for him. Best to ask and see what he says then bottle it up inside and hold a grudge. Give it a shot. 
Melting Slicks
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,625
Likes: 0
From: Cut n Shoot TX
CF JASOC Member
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,040
Likes: 34
From: Downtown Annapolis, MD. The Future is where we all have to live. Let's not screw it up.
St. Jude Donor '08-'09-'10-'11
Here's my opinion...
You can't demand or even expect that every good deed will be returned in kind. If we all did that, nobody would ever do another selfless thing for anyone else again.
Feel good about what you did for someone who needed it, and move on.
If you step in dogsh*t, don't spend alot of time thinking about it.
Just wipe off your shoes and keep walking.
You can't demand or even expect that every good deed will be returned in kind. If we all did that, nobody would ever do another selfless thing for anyone else again.
Feel good about what you did for someone who needed it, and move on.
If you step in dogsh*t, don't spend alot of time thinking about it.
Just wipe off your shoes and keep walking.
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Melting Slicks
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,625
Likes: 0
From: Cut n Shoot TX
Here's my opinion...
You can't demand or even expect that every good deed will be returned in kind. If we all did that, nobody would ever do another selfless thing for anyone else again.
Feel good about what you did for someone who needed it, and move on.
If you step in dogsh*t, don't spend alot of time thinking about it.
Just wipe off your shoes and keep walking.
You can't demand or even expect that every good deed will be returned in kind. If we all did that, nobody would ever do another selfless thing for anyone else again.
Feel good about what you did for someone who needed it, and move on.
If you step in dogsh*t, don't spend alot of time thinking about it.
Just wipe off your shoes and keep walking.
Well Said!!
Instructor
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 234
Likes: 0
From: Covington, Virginia
I refer to your dilemma as the "mutual users society" We use our friends and in return we allow ourselves to be used by them. As long as it is "mutual" there doesn't seem to be an issue. When the relationship gets lopsided, we feel overused and tend to shy away from the "superusers". If we allow ourselves to be used, it is our fault, we know the pitfalls. If we allow ourselves to be "overused" it is still our fault.
We help others hoping that in our time of need, they will reciprocate...sometimes it works out, sometimes not. Don't forget we are all members of the human race, good, bad or indifferent.
I'm sorry that it hasn't worked out. Been there, done that and I think most of us have been in the same situation. Tell Him!! what's the worst he can do? not be a good friend??? Hmm...doesn't seem that you will lose much...otherwise....chalk it up and move on. Good luck..
mobjack68
We help others hoping that in our time of need, they will reciprocate...sometimes it works out, sometimes not. Don't forget we are all members of the human race, good, bad or indifferent.
I'm sorry that it hasn't worked out. Been there, done that and I think most of us have been in the same situation. Tell Him!! what's the worst he can do? not be a good friend??? Hmm...doesn't seem that you will lose much...otherwise....chalk it up and move on. Good luck..
mobjack68
Drifting
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,957
Likes: 0
From: Chico Ca
I think you just have to feel good in for yourself for helping a friend and maybe someday when you really need something and not just wheels he might be there for you?
I literally gave my only car away to bail a friend out of jail about 9 years ago I borrowed a car to drive and traded a boat for a car for him to drive. He currently owns a company that does $100million in sales evey year. He has never offered me anything. This is no B.S. and I had to really look deep to get over my feelings of being used. I do belive if I needed help he would be there for me. Yes one hundred million!
I literally gave my only car away to bail a friend out of jail about 9 years ago I borrowed a car to drive and traded a boat for a car for him to drive. He currently owns a company that does $100million in sales evey year. He has never offered me anything. This is no B.S. and I had to really look deep to get over my feelings of being used. I do belive if I needed help he would be there for me. Yes one hundred million!
Pro
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 552
Likes: 2
From: Waynesboro GA
I agree with you!
I have noticed that true friends are very hard to find in this day. I have friends that are the same as yours, I personally love to help my friends, but they seldom appreciate anything anymore! I am 45 yrs old, and most of my "true friends" have passed on..
Burning Brakes
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,205
Likes: 1
From: "Too Low, Too Fast, Too Loud" TX
This day in age..you will be very disappointed if your are expecting something in return for and act of kindness. Not saying all is for not..just don't expect repayment. I don't do things/lend money in the hope of getting it back. If it is paid back..or that kindness is done great..if not..don't worry about it. As was said earlier..true friends ..are hard to find. You will get your rewards in due time..and maybe not from that same person..someone is watching out for you..hope all goes well..take care! 
Le Mans Master
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,708
Likes: 266
From: indy indiana
Here's my opinion...
You can't demand or even expect that every good deed will be returned in kind. If we all did that, nobody would ever do another selfless thing for anyone else again.
Feel good about what you did for someone who needed it, and move on.
If you step in dogsh*t, don't spend alot of time thinking about it.
Just wipe off your shoes and keep walking.
You can't demand or even expect that every good deed will be returned in kind. If we all did that, nobody would ever do another selfless thing for anyone else again.
Feel good about what you did for someone who needed it, and move on.
If you step in dogsh*t, don't spend alot of time thinking about it.
Just wipe off your shoes and keep walking.
Drifting
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,795
Likes: 1
i feel your pain but mine is a lousy cousin that i bent over
backwords for the past 12 years, got him a really good job
and always repaired his garbage vehicles and got them
through nj state inspection for him.
he didnt know how good he had it until this past
weekend when he had to pay $700 for a water pump and
replacement of 1 freeze plug
in his 92 S-10 with 2.8 v6
a job that i was going to do for the cost of the parts.
ooooops, there goes the income tax refund money
long story short, SOB got really nasty with me 2 weeks ago at work
(job i got him) and was lucky im 4 years away from retirement or i would have decked him right there, so now he can hold his hand on his backside for any help from me.
backwords for the past 12 years, got him a really good job
and always repaired his garbage vehicles and got them
through nj state inspection for him.
he didnt know how good he had it until this past
weekend when he had to pay $700 for a water pump and
replacement of 1 freeze plug
in his 92 S-10 with 2.8 v6a job that i was going to do for the cost of the parts.
ooooops, there goes the income tax refund money
long story short, SOB got really nasty with me 2 weeks ago at work
(job i got him) and was lucky im 4 years away from retirement or i would have decked him right there, so now he can hold his hand on his backside for any help from me.
Melting Slicks
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,043
Likes: 1
From: Elkhorn WI
Yep, been there done that. Have helped others on hard times (staying for a few weeks, turns to months etc. ) In the end...if they don't return the favor....they aren't "good" friends. They are friends taking advantage of you. Wipe off the crap and when you help going forward with them, understand they won't return the favor. I'm friendly with everyone, would give a true friend anything....but I have few I truely see as true as most take and give nada.
Like others said....email and ask for them, stating you have helped him plenty of times and the rims would really help you out. His response will set the tone for the type of friend he is, plain in simple.
Drifting
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,781
Likes: 15
From: Oxford Ohio
Let it go, and file this experience you have had for future reference. Maybe he wasn't as good of a friend as you thought he was. Hummm
Living with you for two months totaly free is a major move to give a friend.
I've have known people who, in a situation like that, would respond but they JUST DON"T SEE IT unless it is brought to their attention. That gesture doesn't come as a natural act for them as it does easily for you.
Living with you for two months totaly free is a major move to give a friend.
I've have known people who, in a situation like that, would respond but they JUST DON"T SEE IT unless it is brought to their attention. That gesture doesn't come as a natural act for them as it does easily for you.
Instructor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 159
Likes: 1
From: Hutchinson KS
The truth is that you can't ever "help" someone. Sure, you can provide things for them in a time of need and you can consider that help if you choose, but the only one that can truly "help" them is that person. People will take all kinds of handouts and freebies, then turn around and hold their hands out again for more. The last 60 years of welfare and entitlement programs is the perfect example of that and you know what kind of shape our country is in today. This guy is just like that, he couldn't care less about anyone else and he obviously feels no obligation to return any favors you provided to him. Sounds like most of the freeloading deadbeats across the country, doesn't it?
Two weeks till Nov. 2, don't forget, don't ever forget.
Two weeks till Nov. 2, don't forget, don't ever forget.
Drifting
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,883
Likes: 124
From: Lubbock TX
No good deed goes unpunished.
I have a handful of what I consider to be great friends, we've all helped bail each other out in tough times and will continue to do so. One of the marks of a great friend is a great memory, they don't forget it when you take care of 'em. Each gives or provides according to what he can and gets the same in return.
True friendship is priceless, but you can sure calculate the cost of the a$$holes in your life.
I have a handful of what I consider to be great friends, we've all helped bail each other out in tough times and will continue to do so. One of the marks of a great friend is a great memory, they don't forget it when you take care of 'em. Each gives or provides according to what he can and gets the same in return.
True friendship is priceless, but you can sure calculate the cost of the a$$holes in your life.