Twas the night before Christmas'


And in the garage.



There wasn't a trace of a Ford or Dodge.



The presents were wrapped and the lights were all lit,



So I figured I'd go mess with my Corvette for a bit.



I popped the release and I lifted the hood,



When a deep voice behind me said "Looks pretty good."



Well as you can imagine, I turned mighty quick,



And there by my workbench, stood good Ol' Saint Nick!



He just stared at first, not sure what to say,



Then Santa piped in "Don't suppose you'd trade that for my sleigh?'



"Forget it, Mr. Claus" then I started to grin



"If you've got some time we could go for a spin!"



His round little mouth, all tied up like a bow,



Burst into a smile when he said "C'mon then, Let's GO!!"



So as not to disturb all my neighbours' retreat,



We pushed my old Stingray quietly onto the street.



Then, taking our places to drift down the hill,



I turned on the key, then let the clutch spill.



The sound erupted and took Santa by surprise,



But he liked it a lot, by the look in his eyes.



With cold tires spinning and exhaust pipes aglow,



We headed on out to roads hot rodders go.



And Santa's grin widened, approaching his ears,



With every shift up as I went through the gears.



Then he yelled "Can't recall when I've felt so alive!"



So I backed off the gas and said "Do you wanna drive?"



Ol' Santa was stunned when I gave him the keys,



As he walked past the headlights he shook at the knees!



Then the big block exploded with raspy exhaust sound!



Santa let out the clutch as the tires tore up the ground.



Power shift into second, again into third!



I grabbed for the handle, at loss for a word.



With the tank reaching empty, Santa returned to his sleigh,



Never to forget that ride in my '69 Stingray



Later, I heard him exclaim, as he blasted from sight,



"Merry Christmas, to all,



It's been a great night!!!"
​

 

You heard winter wonderland but I bet you never heard subbie wonderland!!!

Slave bells ring are ya listenin
In the dungeon asses glistenin
A beautiful night we're happy tonight
Walkin in a subbie wonderland

Gone away are the bruises
Replaced with deep skin contusions
She hopes and she preys that the pain will go away
Walkin in a subbie wonderland

In the dungeon you can hear her screaming
Her skin is nice shades of black and blue
This is all done with full consent
It doesn't matter if you're a christian or a jew

Later on as we cuddle
And she melts into a puddle
She hopes and she preys that the pain will always stay
Walkin in a subbie wonderland

 

 

 

Merry Christmas everyone

 

I really don't need this. Just weird.