Honest question for y'all..... though I'm sure I already know the answer.

How many of you, through the process of restoring (or even just doing a major project on) your Vette just had to put things down... and take a step back... because of how the process was effecting (however slightly) your relationship with your significant other?

Now.... don't get me wrong.... I'm not suggesting my restoration is putting my marriage on the rocks or anything that dramatic. But it can certainly cause a little undue strain from time to time.

Asked the wife last night about going out and purchasing/replacing a certain part (Which isn't cheap) and her first question was "why do you need that? you already have one...." Naturally it snowballed from there.... as it has a few times in the past. Though this isn't exactly a common occurrence.... it's happened before and we're kind of on the understanding now that we just don't talk about my restoration project... I have a monthly budget, I stick to that budget.... no discussion necessary. As you can tell, she doesn't much care about the Vette or the project work on it... She says she'll be excited when it's finished and we can drive it... but who knows when that's going to be.... In the meantime, it seems all the Vette does is add unneeded stress to my life!

So after last night incident... I've decided to take a step back... take a break.... and just reevaluate where I am regarding this project.... and sort of determine if it's worth it for me to complete.

Anyone else been through this before?

 

Yes, but for us it's not money. It's time. We ended up having to work out a pre-arranged schedule. I work on it every Sunday for about 6 hours and every morning before work for about an hour. Evenings are variable based on her activities. If she already has plans, I either follow her or work on the Vette. Whichever is appropriate.

 

Everybody has their own preferences and ways of doing things. Personally, I don’t ask my wife for money or permission, nor does she ask me for money or permission. While we do a great many things together (horses, kids, etc) we also have our own separate interests just like we did before we were married. I believe that letting your spouse do some of their “own thing” only makes you closer.....

 

Yep - been there... It's not a money thing, either. It's all time related. I am a prime example of a type A personality <I always have to be doing something or I go >. My wife keeps me busy during the summers with honey-doo's but the winter's belong to me. Turn on the space heater and warm the garage - as long as I don't work everyday to the wee hours of the morning. My six year old is my world and he comes first. I will stop anything for him - even if it's to play a game of Uno. Just taught him how to ride his two-wheeler this past weekend - wore me out - but the expression on his face watching him do it on his own... Priceless.

 

I may be, what is now overused "old school", but family is first, everything else is second.

 

what ever it take's just talk about it so things don't get bad.... may take longer to finish,but thats better than NEVER
gettin' done

 

Hey - fellow Ag here '80. My wife and I have an understanding also ... this is something I do and that I don't let it interfere with my other roles as husband and father. Sometimes it does interfere though, and when it does - whether she points it out or I 'feel' it - I put the project down for awhile. For me, it is a HOBBY - something I enjoy doing. She has her hobbies too, and I support her in those.

BUT - if push came to shove - if the tension ever got to a level - the Vette would go in a heartbeat - after all - its just a HOBBY.

 

A couple of years ago I had to assess where I was going with my restoration. I decided to sell as the car was going to cost more for me to restore in both time and money than what I was willing to do (not sure what you're restoring, I might have gone a different way with a BB or Vert car) but it made sense at that time in my life. Two years later, after looking at several C3's, C4's and C5's I ended up with an identical car to what I sold...another two-tone '82, same color and options just in far better condition that we can now enjoy. No more “when I can afford to have her painted”. There is a lot to be said for "buying a car in the best condition you can afford".

As others have said, family is first in my book. My wife and I have accepted that she will never understand my obsession with Corvettes. It's all about balance and I've looked for ways to get my family involved. We are going as a family to the NCM 10th Ann in Sept and I've organized a couple of local gatherings with other Corvette owners that my wife has attended...she has met several other wife’s that have husbands just like you and me! It's a therapy of sorts I guess.

I try to be considerate as well. For instance, I only have a two car garage (only?) and right now my vette is sitting in the middle of the garage with the front end tore apart for a front bearing/brake rebuild. I'm taking my time to detail some stuff but didn't just take over the garage or kill the budget. I told her my plans about a week ago, budgeted the $ and planned for a week when it's not suppose to rain. This way she's not inconvenienced having to park her SUV outside in the rain and there were no surprises in the budget…in fact, I came in $3.00 under my $200 budget!

Like you said, take a step back, assess where you are going. It was a hard call for me to sell my first '82 but looking back it was the best thing for me to do.

 

Thanks for the replies all.

2tone82.... yeah, I think it best I just sit back and re-evaluate for now. I'm not restoring a BB or vert... just your average '79 L-82.... But I knew, we both knew, going in this wasn't supposed to be a money making venture or anything like that.... just a hobby, albeit not a cheap one.... I've always loved the '79 and found a good deal on one. Plus I like to tinker mechanically, so a restoration was the way for me to go... at least I thought so initially.

As everyone has echoed here... it's about balancing the hobby with the family life. I'm no different from anyone else in that my wife and family come first, without question. I suppose it's just frustrating because this is one thing that I love that she doesn't necessarily (okay, this AND college football )... It's tough when you both can't share in your love of something... in this case, cars and Vettes in particular.

If I had to venture a guess... the resto will continue... But I suppose a break is best at this point.

Regarding your garage situation.... I'm taking up a half of the garage with my project... My wife just got a new car and she said beforehand she would, no questions asked, get a parking space when the new car arrived (she didn't have one before, my truck got the other space). Well she has the new car... and my Ram sits in the driveway now! It's not happy about that... but oh well....

 

My late Wife was very supportive of my Vette project. She didn't like it or ever want to ride in it, but wouldn't mind stretching the budget from time to time so I could have what I needed for the car. Even after I became disabled and lost my career, she still did what she could to gather funds for what I needed. Now, being a disabled single parent is not easy and funds are few and far between. If I think about getting something for the car, food and clothes for the kids usually wins out.
Someday if I ever finish mine, I know she will be happy for me

Craig

 

As long as your spending is not interferring with the family budget then there should not be a problem. If it does then I will stand with your sig- other on this one.

 

Well, sometimes a little break makes a lot of good.
I have taken a step back lately for reasons of both time and $.

Recently, my wife's engagement ring needed to be restored.
It bit into the vette budget to the tune of $1500. Ouch.
Also, I have tried to commit to some household projects
that need attention. Soon, I will return to my usual obsessive
compulsive self. For the mean-time, I try to mend the family life.

Recently, I was joking that a C4 would be nice. My wife stated
that, "You aren't getting another Corvette until I get MY
Harley or a '69 Camaro !!". Cool. My 'man-translator' says that
she is 'allowing' me to get another vette !!! Maybe in the spring.
It's all about balance. Maybe it's time to tip your scales the other way.

 

See my sig.

My wife supports me for the most part but getting garage time can be a challenge. We agreed well in advance to "blow a wad" on my last resto. We did and that it is done now. The current project is my Vette and it is not that expensive by comparison. I had a great core to start so that helps.

Dialog is vital IMHO to keeping the family and hobby flowing smoothly at the same time. Talk about things in terms SHE can understand and find the middle ground. Then you will know if you can proceed, put it on the back burner, or sell.

Oh, and if that does not work, buy her something "shiny". Chicks will fall for that one every time

-Mark.

 

My car totally occuppied my life for two years. These last few weeks it has been covered in the garage and I have been busy with other things.

Maybe in another few weeks I will start tinkering again.

 

Ha.... something shiney...... good idea.

FWIW, the wife and I have been conversing over email throughout the day and clearing the air and coming to some very do-able middle ground... so that's good. But maybe I'll try the shiney thing too...

corvetteforum.... good for technical issues... vendor recommendations.... and psychiatric therapy.... all in one.

 

I've had 3 girlfriends in the past 6 months and they all broke up with me be because of that $()$#$%* car, oh well im young and ill take the car.

 

It is a HOBBY! Balance that with other hobbies. Some guys are gone fishing golfing or whatever allday Sat or Sun. My hobbie keeps me home when I'm working on the car. Get to watch the kids out front shooting hoops. When I do take off it's for a car show my wife usally comes along. I like the earlier quote buy the best car you can afford. But if your like me, you need to be doing something on the car. Just driving it doesn't cut it for me. Moderation, moderation and a great partner can't lose then. My wife drove the car for the first time the other day. She pulled over and said "OK I can drive it." Now you take over!!

 

Yep. I went through it.

She wanted me to build her a race-car... (essentially, she wanted to take away my toy for herself). :blush:

And then she wanted a new truck (she got it). :bb

And then she wanted two new horses (she got them).

And then she wanted me to buy a Z06 Corvette, so she could auto-x it...

She wanted the toys, and the glory of a job well-done, withOUT doing any work...

To make a long story short? I divorced her.

Life is so much simpler, now...

 

NOoooo NO NO, he didn't mean air cleaner and valve covers.


Otherwise good advice, and glad you are making progress.