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You put a new battery in and follow my instructions to put it into diagnostics mode and I will bet a dollar to donuts you will get the codes I listed above, or several of them.
Those codes are for loss of 12v to the BCM and PCM busses as well as 1 and 2 battery faults. Any time you have a voltage fault you will automatically get a communication error to one of the computers (BCM or PCM).
But that's a good start to get that battery replaced.
A mechanic said no codes are coming up, he said it would appear nothings wrong.. time for new battery!!!
I had a friend have the same problem. He had to let the car idle for a few minutes so the computer could recalibrate. He has not had the problem since.