Stupid birds!! Pooped on my car twice just after I got done washing it!!!

Gloves are off and I will not be responsible for my actions

 

That's a real bummer.

 

Man the shotguns.

 

I think they do that on purpose after you wash it! I can't get mine back in the gargege quik enough after washing it without getting bombed!

 

It was like they watched and waited till I was finished.

I no sooner got the hose rolled up and came back around the front of the house and SPLAT!!!

 

My experience has been that clean cars present shiny targets. Mine are not just relegated to birds... my biggest nemesis is inclement weather... sometimes I can ride from the car wash to my house (a whole 7 minutes) and I get the clouds spitting at me by the time I get to the parking lot!

Funny thing is that since I haven't had a chance to get 'er all cleaned up, we've had AWESOME weather! So I'm literally 'ridin' dirty!"

 

 

I have a field next door with newly sprouting grain which the geese love. I hate them almost more than the farmer. I'd rather they stay in the field and eat the nice tender shoots because when they poop it's like a small Martian dog pack crapped on my car. Green turds on a red car ain't pretty Don't look up when they take off honking away.

 

The bird wants to buy it! He put a deposit down on it.

 

Just washed mine.... but I did it in the garage. Not taking the chance with birds and maple trees.

 

When I get to heaven I HOPE birds drive fancy sports cars so I can take a dump on them!!!

 

True story:

Several years ago when I had a Honda Accord, I spent all day (many, many hours) one Saturday washing, waxing & detailling my car. It looked beautiful.

When I was done I had to make a trip to the store. Got in the car, didn't get half a block from my house and PLOP, SPLASH, CRAP!

What must have been a Condor with diarrhea put a white racing stripe on my car that ran from the hood, over the windshield, roof & back window, then down over the trunk! He must have been watching me all day & held it until I was done. Needless to say I was pi$$ed. Turned around, went back home & washed it all over again.

 

Don't do it!

ORLANDO, Fla. -- PGA Tour player Tripp Isenhour was charged with killing a hawk on purpose with a golf shot because it was making noise as he videotaped a TV show.


Isenhour
Isenhour was with a film crew for "Shoot Like A Pro" on Dec. 12 at the Grand Cypress Golf course. The 39-year-old player, whose real name is John Henry Isenhour III, was charged Wednesday with cruelty to animals and killing a migratory bird.

The charges carry a maximum penalty of 14 months in jail and $1,500 in fines.

Isenhour apologized in a statement and said he was only trying to scare the hawk away.

According to court documents, Isenhour got upset when a red-shouldered hawk began making noise, forcing another take. He began hitting ***** at the bird, then 300 yards away, but gave up. Isenhour started again when the hawk moved within about 75 yards, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer Brian Baine indicated in a report.

Isenhour allegedly said "I'll get him now," and aimed for the hawk.

"About the sixth ball came very near the bird's head, and [Isenhour] was very excited that it was so close," Baine wrote.

A few shots later, witnesses said he hit the hawk. The bird, protected as a migratory species, fell to the ground bleeding from both nostrils.

 

 

Periodic BlackCat firecrackers every day,,,one or two each time,,,,birds learn!

 

The bird routine kind of goes with the old saying, wash the car and it will surely rain.

 

I cut down the trees in my yard,,GREATLY reduced the air strikes,,and mine is parked outside a lot!! Only get a few a MONTH now compared to sometimes more than once a day!! One tree was hit by lightning killed it,,and the other was getting old and rotten. No shade now,,but almost NO BIRDS!!

 

Dang birds. Here kitty kitty

 

I had mine cleaned up the other week. Pulled out the parking lot. and I kid you not. this bird came out of nowhere sweeping down towards me. I was running about 45mph. He timed his crap perfectly to land on my car. Not only that the way he shat it out slowly it was a long strand. Started at my hood and came up the windshield and over my roof. I think I saw the bird look back laughing at me.

 

You could take a fullsize photocopy of a black vette from above and lay that in the parking spot next to you. They will hit that bad boy reliably....trust me