Is there one out there?

 

ttt anyone? their has to be one!

 

... you drive it down to your local shop and tell them to remove your engine through the top.

 

There have been some that have removed from the top. It can be done and isn't a nightmare if you take your time and have the tools. I haven't done it, but the posts that I have seen regarding this have done it like this.
1: Drain the radiator
2: Remove hood
3: Remove radiator
4: Remove exhaust manifold/headers, take down exhaust pipes
5: Remove intake manifold
6: Remove front engine accessories, including air conditioning
7: Optional - remove heads.
7: Remove all wiring harnesses connected to engine
8: Remove ground straps
9: Remove tunnel cover
10: Support torque tube
11: Put lifting harness on engine/lifting plates on side of head-if heads not removed
12: Get lifting harness tight - to support engine
13: Remove the motor mount bolts from the side of the block
14: Remove the motor mount nuts from under the cross member
15: Remove the 5 bolts holding the torque tube to the bell housing
16: Pry the engine forward while looking for any remaining hoses, pipes, or harnesses.
17: I don't know whether the bell housing has to come off to remove from the top, if it does, as you are working the motor forward and upward, when the bolts get clear enough to remove do that and free the bell housing.
18: you should be able to crane it out then.

There are probably a LOT of places you will run into gotcha's, maybe one of the guys that has done this will jump in to help you now that I've thrown a bale of hay onto your fire