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Same problem. On Feb. 2016 , I had my first problem of cranking. I had no response from pushing the stat button except strange reactions from the DIC. After closing and reclosing the doors and waiting about 5 minutes, it cranked. Since then it has cranked fine until last week. Where it did the same thing. Afraid that I might get stranded the next time, I set up an appointment with the dealer this morning. Not only did the car not react to me trying to start it, it locked me inside. It took a while to discover the emergency release in next to the driver's seat since I was in the dark. But I did get out and am considering seriously of getting rid of the car. I am going to replace the car battery and both fob batteries and see what happens.
We got locked in the car once too. I had practiced locating the lever without looking so it wasn't a problem but it still 100% creeped both of us out to be trapped in a car like that.
I hope you charged the battery before topping it off with water. You should add just enough water to cover the plates of a discharged battery. As you charge a battery the chemistry of a lead acid battery causes the level to rise. You are putting sulfur back into solution as sulfuric acid.
Next, you said the car would think about starting (lights going out and clicking) when you pushed the start button. That eliminates any possible FOB issue. If there is a problem with the FOB you will just get a message on the DIC "NO FOB DETECTED" and the car will not do anything else.