OK, I've heard your "hitting the .500 Pro Tree" crap long enough! I'm calling you OUT. Since I am still Corvette-less I have a deal for you:

.500 Pro Tree time shots in YOUR car. I have never raced your car (although I offered to have you race my car but you wuz skeerd) so you should have a HUGE advantage. Each of us will take 3 time shots on a .500 Pro tree and the driver with the best average RT wins.

If you win, my company will donate $500 ($500 for .500 ) to any cause you choose. It can be a charity, prize for a driver of your choice for going out of his/her way to promote the sport or a special interest (lap dancing excluded), in a driver's memory, to help a driver in need (like health, not new motor!), etc. Your choice, but the money should not go to the winner of this contest. I will also reimburse you the cost of your tech card and laminate your AARP card.

If I win, you will post on this forum once a month EVERY month (on the anniversary of the race) for one year a post titled "Paul_Z06 SPANKED me on the Pro Tree" and my company will still make the $500 donation to a cause of your choice. Seeing your post once a month will make my day....... or year

This is ladies' choice so I will allow you to pick the date and location. Since, at your advanced age, you can only find your way to Englishtown I guss I'll see you there. Pick a date!

If you're worried about your car, I can get out the throttle at 3/4 mile...... I mean 1/8 mile Actually, I can get out of it right after the launch!

Anyone else willing to sweeten the pot is welcome. Jesse should contribute at least 5 grand from the profits of his newly-found wonder product Just bustin' on ya, take it easy!

 

Paul, JP will see this tomorrow. LIGHTS OUT AT THE OLD FOLKES HOME IS 8PM on saturday

 

John, this is arguably the FUNNIEST comment I've ever heard you make!

 

Paul I'm a little groggy right now.. the doctor had to get me out of bed to see this msg.... Also they had a problem getting the safety rails down on my bed...

However my mental therapist explained what you want to do.. we each hit the .500 Pro Tree 3 times & the best "AVERAGE" is the winner..

I like that...but can I have 1 request....lets make it a .400 Pro Tree because I'll go RED on a .500 & thats really a PIA .. me losing because I was TOO QUICK ON THE TREE... other than that your on... and if you are TOO INTIMIDATED BY A .400 we can revert back to a .500 "KID"

I have a lot more I want to say but they already gave me my night time "Meds" and I'm not really thinking straight...

However TOMORROW at around 8 pm BEFORE my Meds, but AFTER my RED WINE I'll be in a more chatty mood... I also have to remember NOT to take the wrong Meds on the day of our shoot out... I'll need the "Uppers" not the "Downers"

 

YOU'VE GOT A DEAL, HOWIE!

.400 Pro Tree, Autostart ON, no deep staging.

I expect you to clean out your car before I get in. I don't want to see any chicken bones from Popeyes rolling around the floor after your feeding frenzy at a senior citizen discount night.

 

WHAT No DEEP Staging, and to think I'm over 40 yrs older than you, I'm gonna need a nurse to assist me in and out of the car..


However I'm gonna go by ANY rules you set as long as its a pro tree... 500 or 400

Also if ya really have a BIG SET we could go INSTANT GREEN but thats not fair to you kids LOL I'll see you the 15th and set a date.... "KID"

 

This is the funniest thread I have seen in a while ...keep it up you guys, the Viagra's on me

 

Hey remember cutting a good light on a Pro Tree is very HARD and I'm on a lot of Meds... so I'm sure "ACE" Paul Zzzzzzz won't mind me using a little BLUE Assistance

But please everyone here who reads this DON'T tell any of the women who are after by "Bod" I still have a "Reputation" to keep...

Then we all know what Paul looks like I have a photo I took of him 2 yr ago in the mens roon.... and I'm VERY SORRY TO SAY PAUL ALSO NEEDS VIAGRA !! I have photographic proof!!
Being the nice guy I am, I'm sure NO ONE has has called him Paul "Teenie Weeny Z" I just call him Mr. Blue

Anyway its not the SIZE that will count.. it will be the RT... and the rehab had been working with me in getting out of the wheel chair faster.. thus I'll be cutting faster lights..

Also "The Blue Kid is not used to hitting the tree without all kinds of electronic aids... Yes I have aids also but my aide only change my "Depends" and Bed Sheets"... the driving is all ME and Mr BLUE

But everyone lets not get down on Paul he is really a generous person to make this offer, & either way win or lose I'm getting the $$

Up front I plan on making sure every cent goes back to the racers as fair as I can...& if I should lose (snowball's chance IN hell) I WILL put a thread up every month on how Paul Z beat me on the Pro Tree... PS Don't hold your breath As I'm almost thinking of giving him a little "Handicap" remember its Age and Experience vs Youth & Enthuism... I can answer how enthusiastic can Paul be after a HARD NIGHTS DRINKING

Thats why he needs a 4 man crew.. to get him in the car, & get it pointed in the right direction.. well I'm sure it will be a FUN day...Me trying to hit a pro tree in a wheelchair, & BLUE PILL PAUL trying to find the starting line.....

 

[QUOTE=jpee;1564463322] and to think I'm over 40 yrs older than you, /QUOTE]


JP, your 40 years older that everyone, except maybe me.

 

Oh, boy. I am still trying to sift through pop's rambling about his blue ***** and such. I predict he's so senile by now, he won't even remember what I look like when he shows up to accept his *** whipping. I can have John Force drive for me and he wouldn't know any better.

Unfortunately, I can't make the March 15th race so we can either establish the contest date on the forum or at the next Challenge.

Last time someone challenged me to a Pro Tree contest was another BLUE boy; INSANITY. I believe I cut a .001 on a .400 tree and that was the end of the contest. But..... that may have been just a lucky shot. I did have few cases of beer in me that night at the banquet and I'll be driving pretty much sober this time

Soooooooo, jpee should start gathering up his buddies (those that can still process thoughts) for moral support because it's gonna get UGLY. I figured most of his friends still remember the first Model Ts rolling off the assembly lines. If he gets even 3 or 4 of his friends together it'll be like having 320 years of combined driving experience.

 

You certainly picked on the right guy!

You still bored?

 

Paul he must have copied that message from one of his junk emails.

I think I see where you are going with this and he will never see it coming

 

[QUOTE=mackeyred96;1564463982]And me. But I'm still young at heart just like you Mack.

 

He never sees anything coming becuse he's OLD.

 

It's been vewwy vewwy quiet. Not much coming from the Panuzzo camp.

I wonder if he fell asleep watching Love Boat and is just drooling into his porage as we speak or he realized that he's about to get an *** spanking of BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS and is just staring at the computer screen like a deer in REDlights thinking "I am about to get an *** spanking of BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS." Or his Commodore 64 finally quit working.

 

Hey Zeeeeeeeeeeeee

I'm still alive and kicking... and the next thing I kick will be Your Azzzzzzzzzzzzz
You've already used up "Excuse #1" you cant make it on the 15....

Well at my age I might be DOA by the next race and we'll never know how bad YOU WOULD HAVE LOST

But I'm a good "Old Man" & listen to my Doctor and he has me on a new pill called

"Reactionazol"


Do you know what that does or do I have to spell it out for you......

Lets see if you can make it to the March 29th race...Also gotta see if "MY" driver is driving etc... I cant get the car all heated up between runs... last time she drove she ran her # with an .00x in 3 of 5 runs because of our dialing skill...

And I gotta make sure she stays in the hunt... However I'm not worried because a guy as smart as you will be able to come up with excuse #2 by then...

However if you don't and are ready to be looking at the back of my "DEPENDS" thats fine I'll get the job done on the 29th...

OK for now, it's time for my "REACTIONAZOL" Doc said to take it before bed every day.. and its already 15 min PAST my bed time (7:00) its now 7:15 and I'm getting shakey...

Ohhhhh Thit.... I just Pizzzzzzd my Depends... not to worry I have an extra set of plastic seat covers for the Vette so you wont get out smelling like a "Medicare Reject"

 

First pro dial dash!

 

This shyt should be on the National Comedy Tour! It's shure to be a hit!

 

I will even offer my 20+ year old car for Paul to use as a handicap, surely he will lose driving an old Buick with 2 less cylinders, you know an old mans car.. Young guy, old car vs. Old guy, young car.... Now we've got a matchup

 

YOU told me that you didn't want to do this on the 15th. Or did you forget ALREADY. Why am I even asking? You can't remeber which side the damn sterring wheel is on half the time so why should I be surprised that you can't remember a comment you made two days ago.

I AM READY FOR THE 29TH, POPS!

I am open to ALL suggestions. I will gladly jump into another car and give the old man a little lesson on STAGING too. My professional racing name was Paul "Toast" Ziajski 'cause I would burn 'em at the tree and smoke 'em at the top end. Paul Major remembers

Anyone offering a car (preferably something similar to JP's) will earn a free tech card and a place in Corvette history as the car that beat the only Corvette driver who was alive when the invention of the first internal combustion engine was announced. Maybe I'll trow in something else if an interesting prize comes to mind.

And what is all this crap about "your driver driving" and overheating your car? Are you insinuating that I need to beat on TWO GIRLS that day? 'Cause that can easily be arranged. SO.......BRING IT!