Lost one of ours
06-18-2008, 02:55 AM
#21
Pro
Member Since: Mar 2008
Location: Vancouver Island British Columbia
Posts: 738
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Unfortunately it is a solution most of us, at some point in our lives, have considered and, tragically, in too many cases have utilized. 
It is important that we all have an awareness of the signals displayed by a potential suicider. Typically these signs will be depression, withdrawl from friends, giving away personal belongings (often with the message "I won't be needing this anymore"),and verbal cues;ie:"I wish I were dead" or "I feel like killing myself". None of these signals should be ignored or dismissed.
It is important to confront someone displaying any of these signs and ask that person point blank "Are you thinking about ending your life?" If the response is "Yes", then ask "When do you plan to do this?" and "How do you plan to do this?" These questions will give you some sense of the severity and sincerity of the situation and whether or not further and immediate action is required on your part (ie: contact professional help). Often, thankfully, the potential suicider is merely calling out for help, wants somebody to listen and doesn't really want to end his/her life.
Those left behind by a suicide need to understand that they are not to blame nor are they to feel guilty that someone they were close to committed suicide. No one can "make" you kill yourself. It is a personal decision in every case.
Huckleberrydude, my condolences to you and the family your friend left behind.
It is important that we all have an awareness of the signals displayed by a potential suicider. Typically these signs will be depression, withdrawl from friends, giving away personal belongings (often with the message "I won't be needing this anymore"),and verbal cues;ie:"I wish I were dead" or "I feel like killing myself". None of these signals should be ignored or dismissed.
It is important to confront someone displaying any of these signs and ask that person point blank "Are you thinking about ending your life?" If the response is "Yes", then ask "When do you plan to do this?" and "How do you plan to do this?" These questions will give you some sense of the severity and sincerity of the situation and whether or not further and immediate action is required on your part (ie: contact professional help). Often, thankfully, the potential suicider is merely calling out for help, wants somebody to listen and doesn't really want to end his/her life.
Those left behind by a suicide need to understand that they are not to blame nor are they to feel guilty that someone they were close to committed suicide. No one can "make" you kill yourself. It is a personal decision in every case.
Huckleberrydude, my condolences to you and the family your friend left behind.
06-18-2008, 05:05 AM
#24
Sorry to hear about that man. I know its a stupid thing to say but time does heal. Stay in the car scene and get his son involved. You both could use the theraputic wrench turning.
06-18-2008, 05:27 AM
#25
Team Owner
Member Since: Sep 2001
Location: Ormond Beach FL
Posts: 28,675
Likes: 0
Received 9 Likes
on
5 Posts
NCM Ambassador
CI-3-4, 9 & 10 Car Show Winner
CI-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 Veteran
St. Jude Donor '04-'05-'06-'07-'08-'09-'10,'14, '16
St Jude Fedex Bowl Donor '09
Prayers go out to you and your friends family....
06-18-2008, 05:41 AM
#26
Le Mans Master
Member Since: May 2005
Location: Hope, Arkansas - '07 LMB Coupe
Posts: 5,865
Likes: 0
Received 2 Likes
on
2 Posts
Cruise-In VIII Veteran
I have some perspective on what's it like to lose a parent at an early age. I lost my mother when I was just about this boy's age. This little guy needs all the support the you can possibly give him. It could make a long term difference in his perspective of life. You might just benefit from it as well.
I'm very sorry to hear about your friend's tragedy and I offer my condolences to you and your friend's family.
I'm very sorry to hear about your friend's tragedy and I offer my condolences to you and your friend's family.
06-18-2008, 06:18 AM
#29
Race Director
Member Since: May 2006
Location: SOFLA
Posts: 12,973
Received 1,013 Likes
on
599 Posts
2016 Corvette of Year
2015 C6 of Year Finalist
I'm sorry to hear it for you and his family. I know how you feel, it happened to me twice. It takes some time to come to grasps with and you will go from hurt to anger. His Son will really need someone who knew his Dad well, try to be strong for him and his family.
06-18-2008, 06:43 AM
#31
Melting Slicks
Very sad to hear.. I hope that his son will recover from this, but I'm sure it will be with him for the rest of his life. His family will need your support and since you were so close to him, please take car and watch after his Son...
/jc
/jc
06-18-2008, 06:54 AM
#32
Not meaning in any way to speak ill of the dead, but that is the most selfish thing anyone could do, and knowing his son might find him? His son is scarred for life now. Too bad he didn't give more thought to such a horrible act.
My condolences to you and his family and especially that young man who lost his father. Some professional counseling for him may be in order, so he can face and talk about his feelings and not bottle them up.
I have had suicide(s) in my immediate family and one of a close family friend, and the ramifications are unending, even after decades have gone by.
I don't mean to be harsh, I know he was your friend and he had to be undergoing some tough times to end his life this way.
I also know how suicide of his best friend affected my son, and it has been 20 years ago. My son is still filled with grief and guilt, thinking he could have prevented it. The death of his friend changed him. It is a horrible, horrible solution to a temporary problem. The aftermath of a suicide affects so many.
Take care of yourself. I am sorry this had to happen. Is there any way you can let someone else clean up the scene? You should not be expected to do this. It is too soon and too gruesome for a friend to have to face this.
My condolences to you and his family and especially that young man who lost his father. Some professional counseling for him may be in order, so he can face and talk about his feelings and not bottle them up.
I have had suicide(s) in my immediate family and one of a close family friend, and the ramifications are unending, even after decades have gone by.
I don't mean to be harsh, I know he was your friend and he had to be undergoing some tough times to end his life this way.
I also know how suicide of his best friend affected my son, and it has been 20 years ago. My son is still filled with grief and guilt, thinking he could have prevented it. The death of his friend changed him. It is a horrible, horrible solution to a temporary problem. The aftermath of a suicide affects so many.
Take care of yourself. I am sorry this had to happen. Is there any way you can let someone else clean up the scene? You should not be expected to do this. It is too soon and too gruesome for a friend to have to face this.
Last edited by mongooseC6; 06-18-2008 at 07:10 AM.
06-18-2008, 06:58 AM
#33
Le Mans Master
Member Since: Dec 2005
Location: North Western Connecticut
Posts: 7,594
Received 91 Likes
on
54 Posts
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. My sympathies to the family...I can't imagine what that did to the 13 year old son. A suicide is especially hard to come to grips with. I think how we handle tragedy defines our own strength and character. It's hard but sometimes you have to be strong...try to give comfort and show strength to your friend's family. Not to minimize the loss but don't let this ruin your life as well. Again, my condolences.
and well said..........
06-18-2008, 08:45 AM
#35
Team Owner
Member Since: Jun 2005
Location: Northern, VA
Posts: 46,106
Received 2,481 Likes
on
1,944 Posts
St. Jude Donor '15
"In honor of jpee"
Shane, I feel your pain very deeply. May you, his family, and especially his son, find some comfort some day. It won't be easy. But the anonymous "We" at Corvette Forum are here if you need us.
06-18-2008, 09:42 AM
#36
Moderator
Member Since: Dec 2002
Location: Lakewood Ranch, FL
Posts: 40,066
Received 3,579 Likes
on
1,619 Posts
Been there - more than once. So sad. My condolences to you and your friend's family.
06-18-2008, 02:07 PM
#38
Le Mans Master
My condolenses to you and his family. I recently lost my parents and my in-laws in a single accident. They had become best friends when my wife and I were married 5 years ago. Two years ago, my parents moved up to NC and lived less than 1 mile from my inlaws. It is definitely a phone call you never want to receive. My heart goes out to you.
06-19-2008, 12:23 PM
#39
Drifting
Member Since: Apr 2008
Location: Marlton NJ
Posts: 1,365
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
St. Jude Donor '08-'09-'10
Been in a similar position before. My thoughts and condolences go out to you and his family. It's something just so awful, but hopefully it can make you a stronger person in the long run.
06-19-2008, 01:20 PM
#40
Former Vendor
Shane
Our prayers are with you and with his family. If we can offer any assistance Just let us know. Even if its just your friends here for someone to talk to.
Billy
Our prayers are with you and with his family. If we can offer any assistance Just let us know. Even if its just your friends here for someone to talk to.
Billy