Hi, i'm 16 years old and just got my 78' about a week ago, I just found out my friend commited suicide today and I know a lot of people in this group are older and have experienced death etc but I never have, seems like the only time I wasn't thinking about it was when I was working on the c3 but any suggestions to how to feel better about this? Thanks.

 

Pick a great memory of your friend and hang on to that - Work on your car and remember your friend - have a good cry if you need it -

Hope that helps,
Frank

 

I am 51, yeah some old cat, ( when I was 16, 30 was old lol ) but I was in the night club / music business, ( alternative, goth , industrial, rockabilly , rave, you get the idea) I still do guest shows, in that world I had lots of fiends die,
a few on purpose a few doing stupid stuff, and the ones who just had their day come.

The first good friend I had go I was in my 20's and get a call from his sister, erik is gone, he was a wild one, a punk rocker, he liked to party and I asked what happened to him, I am thinking he od'ed or said something stupid to someone stupid who offed him, nope, at his day job a truck backed into him, and sure typing this to you makes me miss that cat.

No...there isn't any magic that will make you feel any better, only time makes it a little duller but depending on how close you were it will always hurt when it pops up, you might get pissed at times as suicide is a very thoughtless selfish thing, that's okay, it hurts the people who loved that person, it's sad that person didn't or wasn't able to reach out, but that isn't anyone fault, my wife had a sister in law ( her ex's sis ) commit suicide she was all messed up and took a way out, no one could help her.

Try to do whatever you enjoy, but do not allow thoughts it to consume you.
as time passes it will not be so in your face but in your heart you will always feel it...

 

Condolences on your friend. Visit a church for some assistance with your grief. Congrats on your C3. You don't list your city. It helps others on the list connect with locals.

 

Agree with the posters above. Take some time to deal with it. Don't wallow in it, but don't try to bury it either. You need to go through the process. In a couple of months it will be the 10 year anniversary of one of my close mates, and it's been on my mind a bit lately. Having the Vette to work on is a good distraction for you (and most of us), doing something with my hands certainly helps for me. I'm sorry to hear it mate, hang in there, these things are no fun.

 

I'm very sorry about your friend. Don't be afraid to talk to friends and family about how you feel.....if necessary talk to a grief counselor. Think things through......don't do anything drastic yourself.

I'll send you a Private Message (P.M.) You can click on the Private Message link that is under your sign-in name.

 

Tell your parents how you feel and ask for grief counseling.

 

And don't forget about God.

It sucks. I have known 9 people who took their own lives. It ain't easy.

http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow....s-about-death/

 

When I was your age I had 2 friends die n car accidents then a year later the guy I enlisted with to go in the Navy got killed in a car accident. We were going in on the buddy program, someone to watch your back.

The best you can do is grieve for your friend and have a good life. Don't dwell on the bad or what could have been done. Good memories are the best. Cry when you need to. PTSD doesnt have to be war connected, its about traumatic experiences. A death of a close friend at a young age can change you. Make it for the better. If you're working on your car and you think of him, talk to him like hes there. It'll help work through the grieving. Depression is a tough thing and can be hard to recognize or deal with.


Good luck with the car, feel free to reach out to anyone here. Theres alot of old guys here with lots of experience with death, its hard on everyone, but I can't see anyone not willing to talk to you about it

 

Prayer helps so does talking about it

take the negative and put it ALL into creating your car, makes you work harder. It will truly be a labor of love. your friend would want that for you not self destructive stuff. This is a great hobby keeps ya feeling good (your wallet not so much lol)

Stay away from drugs and booze while youre grieving nothin good ever comes from that.

 

I'm gonna be 64 in a few days , so I been through this a few times. It's not easy but what helps me is to go to the funeral and say "goodbye" to my friend. It's the last chance to say goodbye and it seems to help with closure and getting my head around it. I like to kneel . say a little prayer for them and then let God handle it. The old saying "Let go and let God"
From that point on letting go of it seem a little easier. God bless you man, stay strong!

 

I`ve posted this before, but it bears a r-run....

 

Very good advice,suggestions and replies that have been given.

Whatever you do...DO NOT forget that you are NOT alone and you do not have to deal with this by yourself.

DUB

 

I'm just reposting your experience for Members who justsaw this thread.

I realize you are probably overwhelmed right now........I'm just checking in on you.

 

What a tragedy youve experienced. I too have experienced the loss of those very close to me. Advice? I can only tell you that grieving is different for all of us. When my wife passed on a few years ago, my sister sent me a series of books on dealing with grief. Those books helped immensely, when I get home I can post the author and title.
Another thing that helped was immersing myself in finishing my corvette build.
If you are religious, talking with your pastor can help. The grief you experience for your friend hurts, but dont be afraid to talk about it, or remember him/her. remember the good times, memories are about all we have of those who have passed on before us. And don't bury your grief in drugs or alcohol. I wish you well.