KIKIRIKI

Ever have a moment where you're wrenching on your car, you stop and think, “I should just buy a Corolla.” Or to be more precise “I should just buy a f*** Corolla.” I do, and the past few weekends I've had them quite a bit. Just have to push through it and keep the end goal in mind. Crusin down mountain roads, v8 playing it's tune, and nothing but miles of hood and giant fenders up ahead... f*** that day can't come soon enough. Or at least a variant of it that doesn't involve a misfire or an inkling in the back of your mind reminding you that you need to fix your handbrake which does f*** to stop the car.

I digress... it's been a long... month. I like this place and it's time to contribute to this fountain of knowledge rather than just drink from it. So, I've had to pull out my diff. It's been making noises and I've ignored them for long enough. Not going to do a walk through because Gary did an excellent video on how to do it. If you're staring down this pain in the *** of a task, you need to watch both videos:



part 2

Slight differences when working on an '81, but if you're considering doing this yourself it's nothing worth mentioning. Not going to enlighten you by telling you your leafspring is made of fiberglass. However, there are a few details he doesn't expand on that I think can help some of you guys and gals.

Note: I got a bad case of “while I'm here might as well...” and removing the differential turned into rebuilding the entire rear end so there's some extra stuff taken off you wouldn't have to if you're just working the diff.

Also Gary did an awesome video on how to remove the trailing arms: Watch it if you're tackling that:



-----1. If you have children and they're young make sure they're far enough away to where they can't hear you. Tearing out all these components from the *** end of your car is a large task in and of itself. Throw in 35 years of rusting nuts and bolts and pins and you'll be cussing out inanimate objects like they just told you your mother's the *** *** that she is ( jk jk! I'm sure your mother is a lovely lady).


-----2. Have tools. For the love of god have the correct tools. I **** you not I was using a table leg as my breaker bar. (this will be a recurring issue for me, thus all the anger)


-----3. If you've never had to take off your halfshafts or drive shaft, you'll find a lovely suprise:



I'm sure there's a reason they used these to hold on the u-joints, but as far as I'm concerned that reason was to **** me the f*** off. Long story short, there are spline sockets and 12 point sockets... these need a 1/4” 12 point socket. Do not buy spline sockets; you'll just endup returning them.



Note the box says they work on 12 point... THEY F*** DON'T! Also can someone explain to me what a spline socket is used for then?

-----4. Depending on your approach, you'll probably need to remove the shocks and the mount. I was 50% lucky. Driver side shock mount came out easy. Passenger side... no way. Applied tons of heat and hammering and it did jack all. In the end this is what I had to do:



Unfortunently I didn't take a picture before it broke free nor did I take a pic of the other side. Here's the gist of it: you'll need a wheel puller, angle grinder, c clamp (or a shitty clamp used for wood work like I got), pb blaster, and clamp ring. Rig it up similarly to the pic. What you don't see on the other side is I put a divot in the other threaded side (take the nut off, grind it off if you have to) so that the wheel puller has something to seat into and doesn't slip off or work at an angle. The c clamp and clamp ring are both critical; those hooks will slip off after enough force is applied.

Now, I tried a couple times quick and dirty and it didn't work. So I said “F*** IT, I'LL BE A MONKEY'S *** IF I DON'T GET THIS THING THE F*** OFF!!” And I did something unusual for someone inexperienced like me... I applied less force, and more patience. Sunday I set it up like this and applied liberal amounts of pb blaster. Tightened the wheel puller until I couldn't anymore without the use of my handy-dandy table leg... and I walked away. Next day more pb blaster, a couple turns with the table leg and walked away. Same the following day and the next few days after that until Saturday. At this point it still wasn't out, but it had built up a lot of tension. A few more turns and sure enough she broke free.

-----5. The shock mount doesn't rotate. Kind of “no s***” but I applied ungodly amounts of torque to that thing before this coming to this obvious realization

-----6. Slotted nuts are the devil. Not only will they be a pain in the *** like regular hex nuts, but they'll have a rusted in cotter pin which might as well be f*** welded in there. Your best friend is an angle grinder and summoning the strength of five gorillas at their physical peak. Oh and then you'll find this **** where they decided just to put the undercoat right the f*** over it. Not like its something that would need to be removed ever. F*** that noise.



F*** kidding me?



Pin was completely stuck in there, luckily I was able to shear it with the nut itself.

-----7. To remove the trailing arms you'll need to remove the handbrake cables. To do this you have to remove the brake calipers before getting access to it. No biggie, just two bolts and a brake line, but would've been nice to be able to take the thing off as a complete unit.

-----8. To remove the trailing arms you'll need to soundproof your garage. Holy f*** on a stick! I think if anything this has taught me it's to not f*** around. Both this and the shock mount I wailed on like a g*** lunatic before going for the solution that did the job. I recommend from now on when you run across something that's rusted in, give it a good try, and ramp it up good and fast to the nuclear option. In this case it's the sawsall. But before I get to that, some pictures. Because I can only swear so much, but you know what they say about pictures and words:



That's at least 1000 cusswords right there. Look at all that rust. It's not even rust, it's ******* rust. It's a perfectly homogeneous hunk of rusting s***. That is a lump system right there. But me being the brute that I am, still tried to take it apart as one would if it were fresh outa the factory. That's not bad what is bad is I don't want to admit how much time I spent doing that before busting out the sawsall. You have to cut the bolt in two spots on either side of the trailing arm to pull out the trailing arm if you're looking at something like this.

The part in red... those are shims (or used to now it's just a shim) supposed to be added or removed to adjust your toe in and out. F*** me right? Imagine going to the tire shop to get an alignment done and after they lift up your car the guy busts out a f*** sawsall. “She's all set now chief” … don't need a sawsall to do the alignment on my Corolla I can tell you that much...

-----9. There's more than one way to skin a cat and there sure as f*** is more than one way to sawsall this s*** outa your car. My first attempt wasn't as efficient as it could've been. First I used a regular blade which did jack*** to the hardened steel pin/bolt you're dealing with here. So pro tip, there's such a thing as a sawsall blade with tungsten inserts. This is godsent (see note above about having correct tools... had to buy a f*** sawsall that day to do this s***, hope homedepot has a good return policy). Oh, and hope you have a sawsall with a short stroke. One I bought had 3/4” which seemed ideal. Do whatever you can to just have to cut through the bolt itself. If not, you'll be cutting through this:



Not impossible, but certainly not ideal. Keep an eye where you're placing your blade, there are ways of cutting this that are even harder (not that I started cutting through the thickest possible part at first or anything... and I mean thicker than that).

-----10. What else... oh yea, before busting out the sawsall (I swear if I have to say sawsall one more time I'm sawsalling my f*** sawsall sawsall!!! ahhhhhh), try to get out at least one set of the shims. The outside set of shims was possible to get out, the interior side was... I hate to say impossible, but was f*** harder than I cared to try. Basic wrench is helpful for this.



-----11. Oh wait... probably goes without saying... but when you make the second cut, the f*** thing will fall on the floor. Try to make sure your leg isn't underneath it or better yet, something is already holding it or ready to catch it.




So those are some of the lessons learned, hopefully it helps if you're looking at doing this. If not, well f**... I needed to vent. I think my main problem is I need to invest in some tools. But every $ spent on tools is a $ not spent on sweet chrome air filter covers. Who am I kidding, I'm maxing out the card on this regardless. F***... I should just get a Corolla.

Rodnok1

Fixing cars sucks when you don't know what you're doing doesn't it.
Not even in the top 25 of **** that's about killed me doing.
Have you worked on FWD cars? I'll trade that job for a N* water crossover job...
So remember that when your Corolla needs a transmission.

Carl in LA

A little flowery in your description but I understood every step in the process... nice write-up...

Metalhead140

Rofl, love it! Thanks for the write up and the laughs. I won't rub it in by telling you I was able to just undo all the bolts on my '79 and it came apart easy as that...

Jeffs82c3

Thank you for the info, I plan on pulling my rear end out next summer...

xpoc454

This is exactly how I work on my car also. Love the right up. I haven't dont this yet but I have worked on my emergency brakes and the classic broken door handle.
There is a testament to my anger shown as a hole in my garage wall where I threw a hammer once. It reminds me its best to walk away and come back fresh and calmed down.

Sunracer

I had an ex that asked me "if you like working on cars so much why are you always swearing and shouting? " It's not a bad question Haha nice write up about the aggravations you suffer before the joy of victory and the triumph of man over machine : )

REELAV8R

Hahahahaha. Oh man that is classic. Glad to see that I'm not the only one that cusses a blue streak when you're pretty sure some engineer designed something just to **** you off when trying to work on it.
My wife has sure heard her fair share of newly combined cuss words when she's within earshot. We laugh about it later.
Working on cars is great and it really sucks at the same time, some times.

BTW I do own a F***ing Corolla too. It's much easier to work on until you got to shove your American sized hand/ body into those Japanese sized spaces.

Thanks for the write up.

ignatz

Thanks for an entertaining read. No mention of injuries that I saw. Did you really come away from this unscathed? The job is not really complete until all the wounds heal!

CA-Legal-Vette

My wife believes that I just enjoy swearing and losing my temper. She may be right

maverickmk

My daughters have asked my wife this several times

Dirty Dalton

Hysterically funny. Sawzall - what would one do without a Sawzall (not to mention the hilarious stories that are focused on a Sawzall).

I sit down with a cup of 'Cogitation Tea' at these times, or should I say 'before' , LOL, no holes in anything, yet...

Wee

Just wait till you have to pull the dash out.....I'll give you a hint...You won't need the sawzall but you will be tempted to use it.

Brian

540 vette

There have been many new curse word combinations that come out of my garage. My daughter wanted to know what the hole in the garage wall was from. I put my fist in it and she figured it out fast.

These cars are a pain in the *** to work on. I just bought a 72, have it 3 weeks and it's all apart in my garage. Don't you just love it.

speedracer2

I spent 30 years in maintenance in a steel mill in Indiana. Most of the blue prints for the machinery was dated 1922 and 1924. This prepared me for a 40 year career of working on old Corvettes. My Granddaughter says " My vocabulary is full of sentence enhancers.

KIKIRIKI

Glad I'm not the only one... it really is a love hate relationship. Thankfully the love far outweighs the hate. The hate only comes in short concentrated, usually rusty, doses.

Certainly didn't get away unscathed. I'm usually pretty good about making sure my hands won't hit anything if whatever I'm applying force to slips... but sure enough I was working a bolt, damn wrench slipped and I punched the car jack like... like it called my mother a *****. Thought I broke my damn hand. Cussing followed immediately thereafter.

Happy to hear good luck. Hope you have better tools than me.

Scottd

Your experience is the same as mine. No matter what you open up, you find 10 more complications. 2 years ago I went to replace a rear main seal and wound up replacing my entire fawking engine. (the ENTIRE engine)

Owning a C3 is like owning a WW1 biplane. For every 1 hour of flight time, you are going to spend 5 hours maintaining the damn thing. Parts are becoming scarce and not many people understand them anymore.

However, like a WW1 biplane....theres NOTHING like going wide open throttle, holding on by the seat of your pants and praying the damn thing doesnt explode. People will look at you and gawk, thumbs up and hoot at you. In the end, its all worth that ONE sunny day that you are "Crusin down mountain roads, v8 playing it's tune, and nothing but miles of hood and giant fenders up ahead"

Jeffs82c3

When I was a kid, I had to help my dad when he was working on his cars... I learned every swear word by the time I was 9 years old. Lol One time I called my brother a pr*ck, my mom asked me where I learned that word, I said, dad....

tyancey00

Your write up reminded me of last winter. Every word of it!! I also laughed....

Sluefoot

I also thank U for a great & hilarious write-up.....I went thru almost exactly the same damn scenario with my '79 last winter when I rebuilt the FRONT, AND the REAR suspensions in the same winter....sawsall & disc grinder w/ air compressor runnin' its heart out.....but I actually DID enjoy every minute of it.....once the really pissy/fukd up
parts were out...and the JOY of putting all freshly rebuilt NEW parts, powder coated/POR-15 paint, and driving it with a renewed sense of total CONFIDENCE that neither end would fly out from under me!! I've still got a lotta stuff left to do, but at least I'm able to drive it any time I want....well, except for being in S. Michigan, which means it's NOT all year 'round!
Thanks again for sharing....a lot of us can easily relate....it does get better....from time to time!