Corvette Joke
Thread Starter
Team Owner
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 30,837
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From: Boston, Dallas, Detroit, SoCal, back to Boston MA
Corvette Joke
I figure this section needs a laugh
Corvette Joke
A man goes out and buys a Corvette. One night he takes it out for a spin, and stops at a red light. An old man pulls up next to him riding a mopped. The old man looks over the Vette and says, “What kind of car ya got there sonny?” The man replies, “It’s a Z06, the best sports car in the USA; it cost me over $60,000.”
“That’s a lot of money” says the old man. Why do they cost so much?”
The man answers, “Because they can go 190 miles an hour!”
The old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his mopped, the old man says, “That’s a pretty nice car all right!”
Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what the car can do. He floors it, and in a few seconds the speedo reads 120 MPH. Suddenly he notices a dot in his rear view mirror that seems to be catching up to him. Afraid it might be a cop, he slows down to 65 and suddenly ....whhhoooosshh!
Something whips by him going much faster!
“What on earth could be going faster than this Vette” the man asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming towards him. Whhoooosshh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And it sorta looked like the old man on the mopped!
“Couldn’t be,” thinks the guy. “How could a mopped outrun a Vette?”
Then again he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whhooosshh –Blam! It plows into the back of the Vette! The man jumps out. It is the old man! Of course, the mopped and the old man are in a world of hurt. The guy runs up to the old man and cries, “You’re hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?”
The old man groans and replies, “Yes, could you please unhook my suspenders from your side mirror?”
Corvette Joke
A man goes out and buys a Corvette. One night he takes it out for a spin, and stops at a red light. An old man pulls up next to him riding a mopped. The old man looks over the Vette and says, “What kind of car ya got there sonny?” The man replies, “It’s a Z06, the best sports car in the USA; it cost me over $60,000.”
“That’s a lot of money” says the old man. Why do they cost so much?”
The man answers, “Because they can go 190 miles an hour!”
The old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his mopped, the old man says, “That’s a pretty nice car all right!”
Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what the car can do. He floors it, and in a few seconds the speedo reads 120 MPH. Suddenly he notices a dot in his rear view mirror that seems to be catching up to him. Afraid it might be a cop, he slows down to 65 and suddenly ....whhhoooosshh!
Something whips by him going much faster!
“What on earth could be going faster than this Vette” the man asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming towards him. Whhoooosshh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And it sorta looked like the old man on the mopped!
“Couldn’t be,” thinks the guy. “How could a mopped outrun a Vette?”
Then again he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whhooosshh –Blam! It plows into the back of the Vette! The man jumps out. It is the old man! Of course, the mopped and the old man are in a world of hurt. The guy runs up to the old man and cries, “You’re hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?”
The old man groans and replies, “Yes, could you please unhook my suspenders from your side mirror?”
Drifting
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,642
Likes: 0
From: Suwanee,Ga
funny.......... but now the hijacking [ because I am incompetent to search ?]
Didn't you use something other than the omega clamps because they where hitting your coilovers.
Seems you posted a picture of your rear suspension?
Didn't you use something other than the omega clamps because they where hitting your coilovers.
Seems you posted a picture of your rear suspension?
Thread Starter
Team Owner
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 30,837
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From: Boston, Dallas, Detroit, SoCal, back to Boston MA
I also needed to modify the VanSteel shock mounts
Race Director
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,220
Likes: 446
From: Overland Park Kansas
2020 Corvette of the Year Finalist (appearance mods)
C4 of Year Winner (appearance mods) 2019
Yep, pretty funny...especially after I decided a "mopped" must be a Moped
For a minute there, I was picturing something more like a witch on a broom! (you know...a mop!)
For a minute there, I was picturing something more like a witch on a broom! (you know...a mop!)
Pro
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 721
Likes: 1
From: Charlotte NC, behind someone going 10 under the speed limit
Nice try, didn't crack a smile though....I was too busy trying to picture what an old man witch would look like flying around on his mop. Scooter would have been easier. 
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Drifting
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,339
Likes: 2
From: port charlotte fl
another one
Supposedly a true story
Old guy buys vette and goes for first ride.
Decides to open it up a bit and attracts attention of a cop.
Outruns cop for a while 'till he scares himself pretty badly and decides to pull over.
Cop tells him he's just finished his shift and he'll let him off if he can come up with an excuse he's never heard before.
Old guy says to cop "well,last year my wife ran off with a highway patrol officer and I thought you were him trying to bring her back"
Apparently no ticket!
Old guy buys vette and goes for first ride.
Decides to open it up a bit and attracts attention of a cop.
Outruns cop for a while 'till he scares himself pretty badly and decides to pull over.
Cop tells him he's just finished his shift and he'll let him off if he can come up with an excuse he's never heard before.
Old guy says to cop "well,last year my wife ran off with a highway patrol officer and I thought you were him trying to bring her back"
Apparently no ticket!
.WW
Melting Slicks
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 3,220
Likes: 473
From: Olive Branch Mississippi
Winner 2020 C4 of the Year - Unmodified
2018 Corvette of Year
2017 C2 of Year Finalist
2015 C4 of Year
MENU says: Hot dogs $2.00, Chilli dogs $2.50, Hamberger $3.00, Cheeseburger $3.50, Hand Job $145. Hot lookin waitress say's can I help you? Yes, are you the one that gives the hand jobs? She say's yes, what do you need? I need you to wash your hands real good and make me a Cheeseburger.
Race Director
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 11,671
Likes: 20
From: Lake Wylie SC
Barrack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.
Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disney World & Barrack said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One.'
The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes. Barrack said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them..'
The third kid said, ' I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset.'
Barrack was a little perplexed by this and said, 'But you don't look like you're handicapped.
The kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved your *** from drowning.'
Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disney World & Barrack said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One.'
The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes. Barrack said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them..'
The third kid said, ' I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset.'
Barrack was a little perplexed by this and said, 'But you don't look like you're handicapped.
The kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved your *** from drowning.'
Le Mans Master
Joined: Feb 1999
Posts: 6,470
Likes: 2
From: levittown pa. usa Even a bad day with my `Vette, is better than a good day at work
St. Jude Donor '10
Barrack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.
Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disney World & Barrack said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One.'
The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes. Barrack said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them..'
The third kid said, ' I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset.'
Barrack was a little perplexed by this and said, 'But you don't look like you're handicapped.
The kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved your *** from drowning.'
Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disney World & Barrack said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One.'
The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes. Barrack said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them..'
The third kid said, ' I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset.'
Barrack was a little perplexed by this and said, 'But you don't look like you're handicapped.
The kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved your *** from drowning.'
