On the other hand there are some pretty smart people here (you and I for instance.. ) What I'm saying is many times friends have a vested interest in telling someone what they want to hear. He might not like some of the forum advice but at least it's straight talk! We both agree this is nothing but a financial transaction now... period! All the other crap means absolutely nothing! Learned my lesson REAL GOOD on my first divorce.. Cost me a ton of money (lawyers) and essentially got nothing in return but poorer! If the dude is smart he'll be able to sort the wheat from the chafe.... I can say the more emotional you get the worse it becomes! When it's over.. it's over! Make the best deal you can and simply move on! Me and the X are still friends and life goes on......

 

Contact a good divorce attorney. Do not pass GO! DO NOT allow her to collect $200.

 

Very sorry. The best of luck to you and a new Vette will await you when this event is over.

 

Makes me appreciate my wife all the more, she'll make suggestions, give opinions, or requests, but she's never forced a situation on me. And if I don't agree with her opinion, request, or suggestion, she accepts it with my explanation as to why I disagree. It's a vice versa thing, mutual respect for each other. Best of luck OP, you gotta be a going thru gamut of emotions.

 

Yep...mine too...but we start off with a true commitment (based upon our marriage vows) that includes loyalty, respect, honesty, integrity, etc...without these you don't have anything. My heart hangs low for the OP - to have his wife betray him like that. Ouch.

 

To the OP,

I can't begin to try to understand your situation, but from the sounds of it you tried to accommodate as much as you could for someone you cared alot for. And it hurts when we are betrayed like that.

I bet she won't let this die quietly but for the OP's sake, I hope she does.

I sold my 2007 vette to save for a wedding, and BOY am I glad that I dodged THAT bullet.

Then I bought a new 2010 GS and a New house! ON THE SAME DAY!

Old vette:



New Vette AND New House:



Hang in there buddy, time will heal this too. Time is still healing me.

 

 

You have to have mutual respect for each other, or the marriage is doomed. There were quite a few people on both sides of our family, that said my wife and I would be divorced within a year, because we married so young( I was 21, she was 19). Most of them are divorced now, but my wife and I will celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary next month

 

You've read some good advice here. If there are no children involved, it is less complicated and less painful, believe it or not. In the end, think of it as nothing more than a business negotiation, a financial settlement if you will. The more you do without the lawyers, the more you will have for yourselves. And you have to manage your lawyer. Some will have you fight it out a long time. Remember, for some of them its all about billable hours.

 

If you are done...

Make a list of all your assets, put a FAIR value on them, list liabilities, and Cash... Come up with a fair 1/2... If she agrees you will both be way ahead... Just like when you were young and had to split a candybar, one breaks in half, the other gets to pick the half.. keep it fair....

 

Why would you even consider buying any new car when you are preparing to go thru the financial and emotional cost of divorce proceedings?

 

Don't do anything until its is all over. Save yourself more potential loss. Wait . . . until it is completely finalized.

And, bottom line, get a "good" lawyer.

Craig

 

Not all divorces have to be slug fests:......I paid for both lawyers and I got the kids [highly unusual that a man gets the kids]! I kept the big house, she got the condo. AND, she signed a power of attorney giving me the thriving business I had started 8 years before! I played nice, for a man, and got what I wanted. She got a condo & a car and her boyfriend......and then she died less than 8 years later, at a somewhat young age!!!!

 

Just went through a divorce. Waited until the divorce was final and then bought the Vette. 45 year old wife decided to have an affair with a 24 year old pizza shop owner - lol.

At least in New York, all property is community, meaning - if it is not registered or licensed, then you can sell it, store it (dont share the location with her and say that you sold it). Once the divorce papers are served, everything needs to be spilt 50/50. The best advice that my lawyer gave me when I found out about the infidelity!!!!!!

 

I always hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I would try to work out an arrangement with her myself. I would also have a pitbull in the background ready to go to bat for me if needed. You never know what her hormones or pms is telling her to do at any given time. She may not want to be nice. If she does...wonderful. If she doesn't.. then you were well prepared.

 

Bummer man =( sorry.. that always sucks.

So, as everyone else has said: lawyer up now. I am not a lawyer, BUT in california, any property you purchase after the 'date of separation' is no longer community property. I'm not sure how the DoS is determined, but your lawyer can fill you in on the details. I'm sure if you bought it cash, taht would be deducted from your "share" of the total cash assets in the divorce. If you financed it, you really don't own anything except debt - which would be your debt, your contract and your car (after separation of course).

anyway, that's how it works in CA.. CO is probably different. Just ask your lawyer.. and buy that vette so you can pick up some hot tail! You're back on the market!

 

Listen to cthusker if you can make an equitable deal with her DO IT. DO NOT LET LAWYERS GET INVOLVED UNLESS YOU HAVE TOO.

 

More good ADVICE !!! If you can use this approach than do it.

 

As a one-time similar situation I learned many things I wish I had known before! Many things came as excellent advice from my attorney.

FIRST - You need an attorney - you do NOT ned a pit bull attorney (unless she insists and promises a fight)

SECOND - seek advice early on with them on division of assets and the REAL World (They do this for a profesison - you do it because you don't know squat) Explain you prefer amicable settlement (hope it goes that way)

THIRD - take good notes - make sure you have all the basics of what to expect.

ONGOING - DO NOT call your attorney constantly (with some brainstromn you had overnight) - every min is billed at 1/4 hour increments.

ADVICE - Keep your mouth SHUT (that's why you hired an attorney)

YOU and HER - Depending how it starts out - follow to the absolute letter what you can and what you can't do. PERIOD!

TIME - Wait it out - Most states have a minimum wait (cooling off) period - 30 - 60 days depending on the state.

THE END IS NEAR - Listen again carefully to your attorneys advice - take good notes. BE WILLING TO COMPROMISE -

FINILAZATION - Suck up your pride, losses, settlement, and move on - NEVER LOOK BACK as to what "Might have been"

As my grand dad once told me.... "If Grandma had *****, she'd be Granpa"

Good Luck - Many of us have been thru this - You'll be fine......

 

Thanks for the support guys. It means a lot. We don't have any kids and to be honest all we have is debt. I would hope we could go about things civil. I'm only 27 so but after 6 years I'm in shock. The best part is she doesn't think she's done anything wrong. She says they are just friends and she has to meet secretly because I don't approve of him. I say if they didn't text or email every 4-5 minutes of every day from the time they wake until they go to bed then I would approve.

I knew I should have joined the cloth!